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Reviews from
Cafe Princess


Three lads go into a cafe.

  4 total reviews 
Comment by
Debra White
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Hi Richard :)
This was a fun read.
I kinda picked up on the Bohemian Rhapsody theme at Ben's first words!
Maybe it's just because I love Queen and the lyrics are ingrained in my mind, who knows?!
Nice clash of perfume and hormones in the cafe - glad I'm not waiting staff in that establishment!
Best wishes, Debra :)


 Comment Written 12-Mar-2019



reply by the author on 12-Mar-2019
    Debs

    Thanks for your fab comments.

    Good luck in your competition. To be judged by Writers-Unknown-to us!

    Every story can have a follow up story, but possibly not here. Unless.... I decide to try another song in the next episode.

    What's your favourite pop song, preferably with a story like B Rhapsody.

    Thanks,

    Richard

reply by Debra White on 12-Mar-2019
    Richard, I?ll have to have a think and come back to you! Thanks for the good luck wishes and also the reviewer vote...that was a pleasant surprise! Debs :)

reply by the author on 12-Mar-2019
    .

    Debs,

    May choose American Pie by Don McLean. It's a long song with mystery.

    A Writer's delight.

    Also just two characters on stage.

    Therefore a Radio script, all dialogue.

    Ade, one of the females, deliberately rolls her lipstick under the tables towards Ben, and comes over to talk.

    And the dialogue is solely Ben-Ade using a lot of the Pie song.

    Edible?

    Can do it all in Word then paste it over.

    Will need a good pic.

    Lipstick perhaps.

    Hot lipstick, as it's the ice-breaker, or should we say, the ice-melter.

    Sub plot can be the theme of unfreezing a hard relationship(s)(!).

    Yes, you have inspired me no end!

    Thanks,

    Richard.

reply by Debra White on 13-Mar-2019
    Haha! I said nothing - but you're welcome!
    Sounds like it will be an interesting read :)

reply by the author on 13-Mar-2019
    Debs,

    Thanks for your review.


    Have just posted a follow-up, but as a script:

    " Rolling Red Lipstick."

    That wasn't meant as a double entendre, but possibly some will see it that way.

    You are mentioned in it. Hope you don't mind
    you are only in the notes.

    Just had another idea for the follow up.
    To use Advanced Editor to split lines
    in such a way there a meaning in the first
    half of the sentence that is
    changed by the rest of it.

    Will have a go sometime
    I have a spare moment.

    You inspired me again!

    Thanks a mi!!ion

    Richard.

reply by Debra White on 13-Mar-2019
    Hah! I'm good like that....
    Advance editor is a mystery to me!
Comment by
tbacha58
 
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  Rank:  500
 
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This work has reached the exceptional level
Hi Richard, that picture truly is perfect for you dialogue of those three men. I am so happy you have from a long way to insist on others and yourself that you will be that wonderful writer. Bless you. Love Terry xoxo
I offer you my last six stars, as a small promotion of points


 Comment Written 12-Mar-2019



reply by the author on 12-Mar-2019
    Thanks Terry,

    Am enjoying writing and have joined a new writer's group.

    Slowly but surely I'm learning the trade.

    Which reminds me, will publish a chess poem shortly.

    Thanks

    Richard.
Comment by
Debbie Pope
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I like your quirky style. I like all the innuendos and hyperboles. I like your repetitions which lend themselves to your theme of being stuck in place. I even like your expression "They were about not to cope," although at first I did not like it at all. It's clearly wrong, but it strings so well with "they were about to choke," and, your style is unconventional after all.
I guess that you can tell that I really like this piece. You have a gift for writing, a freedom, that is missing from my works. That's probably why I appreciate it so much.
Nice job.


 Comment Written 12-Mar-2019



reply by the author on 14-Mar-2019
    .

    Hi Debbie,

    I mainly do comic pieces.

    However serious the intention at start, somehow the humor forces itself out.

    Actually as I write this comment, it occurs that I must be a clown.

    However that should not surprise you.

    You have probably already realised my birthday is April the first.

    Thanks,

    Richard.

reply by Debbie Pope on 15-Mar-2019
    Oh, wittiness is such a blessing.
Comment by
2019 Poet of the Year
Dolly'sPoems
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This sounds like a new journey as the opposite sex starts to be a new attraction in life! These guys will soon break out of jail! He he he, love Dolly x


 Comment Written 12-Mar-2019



reply by the author on 13-Mar-2019
    .
    Hi Christine,

    They do.

    Or at least two do. In the next episode.

    Writing is fun.

    You can have your Pie, and eat it.

    Thanks,

    Richard.
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