Contact Us | En español    
         Join today or login

Status

New Here?
Sign Up
Fast! Three Questions.

Already a member?
Login

Contests

Rhyming Poetry Contest
Deadline: Today!

100 Word Flash Fiction
Deadline: In 4 Days

Haiku Poetry Contest
Deadline: In 5 Days

ABC Poetry Contest
Deadline: Mar 9th

6 Word Poetry
Deadline: Mar 13th


Writing Classes

0 classes available. Click here locate a class and to learn more.

Rank

Poet: None
Author: None
Novel: None
Reviewer:None
Votes: None






Reviews from
Gun For Hire


Viewing comments for Chapter 14 "River Rising"

First the war...the marshal

  2 total reviews 
Comment by
Shirley McLain
Premier Author
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  168
Author Rating For Short Works
  Rank:  32
Author Rating For Novels
 
Review Stars
  Rank:  139
 
Good
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
Long chapter to read but it was good. I enjoy reading a good western. I did find one paragraph that needs something.

I ate pemmican with water from the canteen. Riding west I encountered four five riders. Rebs, they were, but jist trying to get home. We'd seen the same action; a farmer. We're ragged, hungry, and just plain tired.

These sentences do not read smoothly. The pemmican comment was just thrown in. Doesn't seem to go with the rest. he encountered the four Rebs trying to get home. Was the farmer the action they seen? The contraction is We are ragged, hungry and just plain tired. Should that contraction be "They were ragged........
Have a great rest of your day.


 Comment Written 14-Mar-2019



reply by the author on 14-Mar-2019
    Shirley, than you for the review and the constructive comments. I will give them serious consideration. Thank you, Catherin
Comment by
Randa Dayle
 
Review Stars
 
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
Nice story, I like the time frame. Westerns are sooo cooo!

Is this a typo?
One of the other rider's yells at me, "Their Injuns!" "They're Injuns!'

That's the only thing I noticed to improve on.


 Comment Written 13-Mar-2019



reply by the author on 13-Mar-2019
    Thank you, Randy for your review and the excellent rating. I'll check on the inquiry you made; and make the necessary corrections. Thank you! Catherin
  -1-   Next Page 


Market your book.
Advertising options.
St. Louis Chapter 23 part 1
Can McKenzie solve Megan Nelson?s murder?


Share or Bookmark
  Contact Us | En español | Advertise With Us

© 2015 FanStory.com, Inc. All Rights Reserved. Terms under which this service is provided to you. Privacy