Take Your Burdens to Jesus
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Viewing comments for Chapter 169 "With the Tide"

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  9 total reviews 
Comment by
Y. M. Roger
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Wow -- perhaps he needs more lessons in corporeality...LOL! :) ;) This is an interesting one, Sir Bill -- brings to mind the person that feels so insignificant that he ceases to be in the throngs around him... Thanx for sharing! ;) Yvette


 Comment Written 18-Mar-2019



reply by the author on 18-Mar-2019
    Thanks, Yvette
Comment by
nomi338
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Talk about getting swept up. I guess that is what happens when life treats you like so much trash. At some point the giant broom comes along and just sweeps you up and deposits you on the great trash heap. Not up in the sky but in that six foot hole in the ground. Rip, pal.


 Comment Written 18-Mar-2019



reply by the author on 18-Mar-2019
    Thanks, nomi, for giving this a look. Bill
Comment by
Miss Sherry
 
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I guess lying down on the sand isn't always a very good idea. I wasn't sure if I understood the poem or if there was a hidden meaning. The artwork is vivid and expressive and I liked the whole package.


 Comment Written 18-Mar-2019



reply by the author on 18-Mar-2019
    O to bathe in the swimming-bath, or in a good place along shore!
    To splash the water! O to realize space!

reply by Miss Sherry on 18-Mar-2019
    Ah, the scales fall away!!
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Earl Corp
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I have to admit, I have no clue what you're poem is referring to. Could it be a body? A Shell? A sand dollar? So many choices that would fit what you described in the poem.


 Comment Written 18-Mar-2019



reply by the author on 18-Mar-2019
    O to bathe in the swimming-bath, or in a good place along shore!
    To splash the water! O to realize space!
    The plenteousness of all?that there are no bounds; To merge, and be of the sea, as one with it.

    Song of Joys from Leaves of Grass. Walt Whitman
Comment by
24chas
 
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I liked this read, Bill. It had a good flow to it and I liked the use of the alliteration which helps with the rhythm of it. It was a very unique piece and I liked it. Nice job.


 Comment Written 18-Mar-2019



reply by the author on 18-Mar-2019
    Thank you, Chas
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BeasPeas
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Hi Bill. This is an excellent poem. I can equate your words with several interpretations, but regardless of one's take on it, many people will identify with it. My feeling of your lines reinforces that life is fleeting, to be enjoyed, and to "go with the flow" as we used to say in the olden days. Marilyn


 Comment Written 18-Mar-2019



reply by the author on 18-Mar-2019
    Thank you, Marilyn
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Dolly'sPoems
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I enjoyed the ride on the ocean wave here and your words just fitted so well with a sense of great flow as the tide ebbs and flows, much enjoyed Bill, love Dolly x


 Comment Written 18-Mar-2019



reply by the author on 18-Mar-2019
    Thanks, Dolly.
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LisaMay
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Your poem echoes the currents and swirls in the picture very well, and portrays a lovely sense of integration and disintegration. We came from water and ebb back into water.
Just a suggestion, but to keep the verb tense right, perhaps the first line should read: He lies in the sand (to keep it in the present tense).


 Comment Written 18-Mar-2019



reply by the author on 18-Mar-2019
    Right you are. Thanks.

reply by LisaMay on 18-Mar-2019
    Thanks for the review nomination, Bill.
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lyenochka
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Life of a seaweed? Oh maybe it's that new kind of plastic that dissolves in seawater? If not, and this is really a human "he" then, this feels rather dark. Liked the alliteration.


 Comment Written 18-Mar-2019



reply by the author on 18-Mar-2019
    We'll call it an Ekphrastic whatever.
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