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Reviews from
Heart Wrenching


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  51 total reviews 
Comment by
Earthspoet
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Hi Artasylum,
I just read your poem I like
It very much the part
"I can't find my heart it's missing in Action burried beneath broken parts"
Such a classic line and so
Memorable and strikes a chord most of us recognise
for any one who has had a broken heart.
But things was not as bad as
You thought within your heart with some tender loving care it can always be fixed so, don't be affraid to look deep within
For only then can you then
analyse and release how much work you have to put in
to repair the that broken heart
I have been there I have been that heart. Earthspoet wishing you best in your writting
Written: 06-Apr-2019




 Comment Written 06-Apr-2019


Comment by
Jmf4119
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"living while alive, what a treat! what a great line. I enjoyed your rhyming poem and the great imagery throughout.

well done and good luck in the contest.

Blessings
Janet


 Comment Written 28-Mar-2019



reply by the author on 29-Mar-2019
    Thanks so much kiddo... yours, diana
Comment by
Joan E.
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Your eye-catching cartoon selection lead us into this charming poem. I enjoyed your rhymed quatrains and fix-it formula. I am glad only a "jumpstart" was needed! Smiles and best wishes in the contest- Joan


 Comment Written 28-Mar-2019



reply by the author on 29-Mar-2019
    Thanks so much kiddo... yours, Diana
Comment by
djeckert
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This was a joy to read. Much great , and clever imagery. " living while alive, what a treat", and the last line very cool and well worth being excited about. I live the artwork as well. God surely blesses.


 Comment Written 28-Mar-2019



reply by the author on 29-Mar-2019
    Hey there... I can't thank you enough for endorsing my words with a six-star review... yours, diana
    Humbled and Honored...
Comment by
CathyM
 
 
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What a clear, defined way to take care of a broken heart. Just as you would a broken car. Take it to be tested then perform what is needed. Nice job with this. My favorite stanza is the third one. Running a diagnostic was so true.


 Comment Written 28-Mar-2019



reply by the author on 29-Mar-2019
    Thanks so much kiddo... yours, diana
Comment by
dragonpoet
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This abab quatrain poem reminds us that we are the only ones that can put our broken heart back together. And when we do we live life the way it should be lived.

Good luck and keep writing

Joan


 Comment Written 28-Mar-2019



reply by the author on 29-Mar-2019
    Thanks so much kiddo... yours, diana

reply by dragonpoet on 29-Mar-2019
    Any time, Diana.
    Have a great weekend
    ~Joan
Comment by
kiwisteveh
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So, self-help is the best cure for an aching heart?

I do like the message here - I am assuming that the 'you' of the poem is your loved one and it is a bit of a worry that you tell him that he doesn't know the tricks to find your heart. One would hope that he has some idea! However, the self analysis (diagnostics) works as well.

I think I won this contest the last time it was run and my theory then was that a complex rhyme scheme probably had a better chance than the simple abcb you have used here. But hey! You never know which way the committee will jump, so I'll wish you good luck.

Steve


 Comment Written 27-Mar-2019



reply by the author on 29-Mar-2019
    Thanks so much kiddo... yours, diana
Comment by
Gail Denham
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Cute poem - and sometimes we do wonder if there's been a misfire. Wrenches, tools of all kinds are not needed. A good look at ourselves often does the trick. Sometimes I get so cranky, it's a wonder hubby puts up with me. I say things to friends that I don't mean - I spout off about an irritation to a clerk. Where is my heart - where is the love?
I like the line "some screws vibrated loose" . Yup that spells it out.
Good poem


 Comment Written 27-Mar-2019



reply by the author on 29-Mar-2019
    Thanks so much kiddo... yours, diana

reply by Gail Denham on 31-Mar-2019
    I did like that poem.
Comment by
Wabigoon
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Art--
Besides not agreeing with you here I have trouble with how you put this, as here:

I can't find my heart.
It's missing in action;

Why the period after heart? What does this have to do with prayers when you image the "fixing" of your heart as something mechanical, someone like a mechanic or plumber who can fix these things? Do you own your own heart or not? Are you in control of it or not? In this poem I am not at all sure.

Thanks
Wabigoon


 Comment Written 27-Mar-2019



reply by the author on 29-Mar-2019
    Thanks so much kiddo... yours, diana
Comment by
RGstar
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Good to read from you dear author. I like the humor of this one.
One thing might stand this in better stead, being a rhyming competition...a little thing that I feel would make a big difference.

"Now that I think of it,
you don't know the tricks.
I'll take over from here...
need to run a diagnostic."

Tricks - diagnostic

I have voiced this before to other authors, and being foremost, a writer of rhymed poetry, I tend to like pure rhyme where the endings do not differ, even if the word in its unchanged form would fit. The S' gives it a different sound at the end so will throw its purity into the air, and does stick out.

Does not need the 's' at the end of trick. Within one trick could be many tricks, so still suits your narrative, and gives a more pure rhyme...and that can make a lot of difference to a voter. I went through all this, because I feel important in a rhyme to keep it pure, especially in such a competition...so for me, lose the s.

"Now that I think of it,
you don't know the trick.
I'll take over from here...
need to run a diagnostic."

Hope you see where I am coming from.

Best wishes.
RG


 Comment Written 27-Mar-2019



reply by the author on 27-Mar-2019
    thanks kiddo... You are an angel and you are completely right. It is fixed. yours, diana

reply by RGstar on 28-Mar-2019
    I think y this has every chance. Good luck my friend.
    RG

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