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Reviews from
Daisy and Freddie


A story about the bond between a chimp and her young son.

  27 total reviews 
Comment by
LaFrance
Premier Author
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  395 (+2)
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  Rank:  73
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  Rank:  75
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  Rank:  341
 
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A great story about chimpanzees, and how you incorporated the facts about chimpanzees in your story. Maybe we should imitate their characteristics.


 Comment Written 17-Apr-2019



reply by the author on 18-Apr-2019
    Thanks for the review, LaFrance. I am glad you liked the story. I appreciate your comments about their characteristics and the facts in the story.
Comment by
LisaMay
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  Rank:  45
 

#1 Ranked Author!
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This is a sweet story filled with chimp information... what a yummy diet they have! The dialogue felt rather formal to me but us Aussies are notoriously relaxed in our speech. Kids should enjoy it, paralleling their own lives of learning new skills.


 Comment Written 16-Apr-2019



reply by the author on 18-Apr-2019
    Thanks for the review, Lisa. I am glad you liked the story and information, especially about the diet! I am glad you thought kids would enjoy it.
Comment by
Maria Jose Garcia
 
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This is a lovely story and also educational.
I do admire Jane Goodall. Do you know she has a Masterclass?
I love listening to her.
https://www.masterclass.com/classes/jane-goodall-teaches-conservation
Thanks for sharing.


 Comment Written 16-Apr-2019



reply by the author on 18-Apr-2019
    Thanks for the review, Maria. I am glad you liked the story and found it educational. Thanks for sharing the link to Jane Goodall. I didn't know about that.
Comment by
dmt1967
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This is a good story. I just have a pointer. This point is only my opinion so, take them or leave them, it's up to you.
1) Most kids would not take the 'when you are bigger' speech so calmly. It would be a case of 'but when' or I want to do it now.' Maybe tell a story then about a specific chimp and then educate them within the confines of the story.


 Comment Written 16-Apr-2019



reply by the author on 18-Apr-2019
    Thanks for the review, dmt. I am glad you liked the story, and your comments are appreciated.
Comment by
Pantygynt
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At heart many of us are suckers for a well-told piece of anthropomorphism like this. Beatrix Potter still remains popular and Watership Down broke all records. The question remains, how far can we go. I doubt if any author would clothe their bunnies and what have you as Potter did but conversations between animals that retain the essential qualities of the animal concerned as Watership Down did seem to remain within the bounds of respectability.

Looking at the top picture it is tempting to believe that emotions are part of everyday life, certainly for the higher order of animals. I always think it hilarious that we use the term 'primates' for these creatures and the the same term for senior archbishops.


 Comment Written 16-Apr-2019



reply by the author on 18-Apr-2019
    Thanks for the review. I appreciate your comments and references to other popular writes about animals. I think emotions are shown by various animals. Thanks also for the primate reference. Quite a contrast there!
Comment by
Jannypan (Jan)
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I enjoyed your story for your son, Pam. It read smoothly and was geared toward what a young child would be interested in. I like how your story about the chimps parallels what a human mother might tell her son. Good job and thanks for sharing. Jan


 Comment Written 16-Apr-2019



reply by the author on 17-Apr-2019
    Thanks for the review, Jan. I am glad you liked the story and felt it was geared to the interest of a young child, and you also liked how the chimps parallel what a human mother might say to her son.
Comment by
susand3022
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Hi Pam! I think this write is really fun and informative as well, which I'm sure is the point. I do have one suggestion:

"First of all, humans think we just eat bananas, but that's not true..." after this the mother gets a bit too scholarly for a mother talking to a little boy. I would make it simpler. "We like other fruit too, like watermelon, mangos, apples, and figs... lots of figs! We eat some plants, flowers, and seeds, but you have to know which ones, that's important. We even eat some bugs!"
This way you're still speaking to the right age group and conveying the information at the same time. There may be other spots you can do this a little bit but this is the major spot.
This is a really fun story, especially the ending. What a fun, fashionable twist! :)


 Comment Written 15-Apr-2019



reply by the author on 15-Apr-2019
    Thanks for the review, Susan. I am glad you liked the story and the "fashionable twist." I will take a look at the section of the story you mentioned. Thanks for sharing.
Comment by
rspoet
Premier Author
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  34
Author Rating For Short Works
  Rank:  33
Review Stars
  Rank:  92
 
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level
Hello Pam,
Great story of the relationship of the mother and her young chimp
with interesting information on about their lives and habits.
Daisy and Freddie seem to be perfect names for the pair
and the dialogue between them is very well done.
Excellent author notes and recognition of the contributions
of Jane Goodall.
Very cool!
Robert



 Comment Written 15-Apr-2019



reply by the author on 15-Apr-2019
    Thank you for the exceptional rating and review, Robert. I am glad you liked the story of the mother and her young chimp, as well as interesting information, notes, and recognition of Jane Goodall. The chimps do have cool names!
Comment by
2018 Poet of the Year
Gloria ....
2014 - #365 Poet of the Year
2014 - #56 Author of the Year
 
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  Rank:  14
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  Rank:  25
 
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The photograph is so full of warmth with Daisy holding Freddie.

Your engaging narrative draws your readers into their fascinating culture and the story about the stalk of grass becoming a fashion trend is most interesting.

Really original and entertaining write.

Gloria


 Comment Written 15-Apr-2019



reply by the author on 15-Apr-2019
    Thanks for the review, Gloria. I am glad you liked the photo of Daisy and Freddie, what they are like, and the fashion trend. That was pretty amazing when I read about it. I appreciate your comments.
Comment by
Tpa
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  Rank:  259
 
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A very good and creative story that gives a small aspect in the lives of chimps. Above all, your lead in showed that love is the center of all families. Your words were well chosen.


 Comment Written 15-Apr-2019



reply by the author on 17-Apr-2019
    Thanks for the review, Tpa. I am glad you liked the story, and I appreciate your comment about the lead in to the story showcasing love in the family. That means a lot.
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