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Reviews from
Poultry 101


triolet suite(two)

  14 total reviews 
Comment by
2019 Short Works Writer of the Year
Ideasaregems-Dawn
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Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level
Sadly, it's the second triolet I love best, although I confess to the optimistic 'fluffy' view as well, and love number one triolet too (probably more, in reality. I'm just disappointed at the constant assault fate seems to allow without respite, and so, determined to hide the softer side of my persona anymore.)

That revealed (lol), your triolets are marvelous, and flawless.


 Comment Written 28-Apr-2019



reply by the author on 28-Apr-2019
    Thank you very much for reading and reviewing my pair of triolets for the potlatch club challenge. The triolet is a good size poem with just enough repeats to emphasize a single idea...and that sixth star really makes my day!

reply by Ideasaregems-Dawn on 28-Apr-2019
    You're very welcome.
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Pearl Edwards
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I love your own description of these two triolets fluffy ad whiny, whereas me I would say enjoying nature after a cold winter, and not so much whiny as questioning. Did well Red,
cheers,
valda


 Comment Written 28-Apr-2019



reply by the author on 28-Apr-2019
    Thanks very much for reading and reviewing my pair of Triolets, my reply to the Potlatch Club Challenge. The first was inspired by the lovely morning yesterday...
Comment by
Joan E.
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I am glad you were inspired by the Club's prompt and chose the Triolet form. I admired your rhymes and repeats for emphasis. You are certainly much "more than merely sod"! Cheers- Joan


 Comment Written 27-Apr-2019



reply by the author on 28-Apr-2019
    Thank you very much for reading my pair of Triolets, another self-taught poetry venture, hence the title, and the second Triolet sparked by my thoughts as I studied the mummies in the catacomb under the cathedral at Oria, Italy...

reply by Joan E. on 28-Apr-2019
    Thanks for sharing the additional context and inspiration. More cheers- Joan
Comment by
Sandra du Plessis
 
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A very well-written double triolet, you got the repeating lines on the right places and the rhyming schemes are well chosen, about the living soul within you never dies, when you do good and have faith in God the soul will live forever in heaven, the other side of the coin the soul will live forever in hell, the body is only a temporary vessel to carry the soul from Point A - B and will return to dust because that is what it is made of.


 Comment Written 27-Apr-2019



reply by the author on 27-Apr-2019
    That is why I used that picture...those mummified priests looked as if they had never known life...and those were holy men...I think the Triolet is a handy form...thanks for reading and reviewing...
Comment by
Janice Canerdy
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This skillfully-written, moving spiritual piece excellently conveys the theme of doubt that sometimes plaques the mind and heart of mankind. There's a verse in the Bible that addresses this doubt. It is actually a prayer.

Mark 9:24 Immediately the boy's father exclaimed, "I do believe; help me overcome my unbelief!"


 Comment Written 27-Apr-2019



reply by the author on 27-Apr-2019
    Help thou mine unbelief(I love the KJV 1769 Bible...grew up with it.)
    Almost everyone has moments where he is less certain of things...thanks very much for reading and reviewing my pair of Triolets for the Potlatch Club Challenge.
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LisaMay
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Yep, you are right: fluffy and whiny, but well written. I see this poetic form as padding out a poem with repetition. Three times in the space of 8 lines is too much for my total appreciation. I think the poems would be stronger if the ideas were kept tightened up. But as it is a triolet suite I will have to say that you have handled it well.


 Comment Written 27-Apr-2019



reply by the author on 27-Apr-2019
    One repeating line, near the beginning and at the end would be what I call ideal. More than that is brain teaser...but Triolet is a known form, and the challenge called for a recognized form. Thanks for reading and reviewing.

reply by LisaMay on 27-Apr-2019
    Yes, I agree with you about repetition at beginning and end to be the ideal. It's good though to have those challenges to try different ways.
Comment by
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Gloria ....
2014 - #365 Poet of the Year
2014 - #56 Author of the Year
 
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Well it's about time you wrote some poultry, Ellijay. I do really enjoy this photograph even though the mummified saints are a little strange.

Two perfectly written triolets, but wouldn't a third one have been in order? ;-)

Great job and a fun read.

Gloria


 Comment Written 27-Apr-2019



reply by the author on 27-Apr-2019
    Actually I wrote a third, about a playboy who ended up just another geezer, but the challenge said eight to twenty lines....thanks very much for reading and reviewing.
Comment by
Jannypan (Jan)
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Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level
You did a great job with one of my favorite styles--the triolet, Red. Your two go together nicely. Your words create great imagery. The picture is thought=provoking, too. I can tell you are enjoying the Spring with the mowed lawn, the birds, the breeze, and the sun. I see nothing wrong with either one. Your repeated lines work nicely in both. Thanks for sharing. Jan


 Comment Written 26-Apr-2019



reply by the author on 27-Apr-2019
    Thank you very much for reading and reviewing. I like the Triolet for its emphasis with the refrain and the metered and rhymed lines. Thank you especially for the exceptional rating...made my day.
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BeasPeas
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Well, I think the two Triolet are wonderfully composed and worded. I don't think they are fluffy or whiny. I don't get the title, though--Poultry 101--or the image?? Marilyn


 Comment Written 26-Apr-2019



reply by the author on 26-Apr-2019
    The dead guys were monks, in the catacomb of the cathedral at Oria. I was deeply thoughtfilled looking at the dry husks of what were once human beings...and this was a kind of class, a learning experience, working on the Triolets.

reply by BeasPeas on 26-Apr-2019
    I figured it was something like that. The title threw me. Still not sure if I get the title.
Comment by
damommy
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It's a lovely triolet suite, neither fluffy or whiny. I thought it was full of meaning and emotion. I love the smell of new-mown grass and weeds, too. And I know that God is real. 8-)


 Comment Written 26-Apr-2019



reply by the author on 26-Apr-2019
    Thanks very much for reading and reviewing. I was repeating some of the thoughts I had as a young sailor visiting the catacomb under the cathedral at Oria, Italy...the freshest body had been there 90 years...they were the priests of the very impressive cathedral...
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