Contact Us | En español    
         Join today or login

Status

New Here?
Sign Up
Fast! Three Questions.

Already a member?
Login

Contests

One Line Poem
Deadline: In 3 Days

80 Word Flash Fiction
Deadline: Apr 5th

Rhyming Poem
Deadline: Apr 7th

Loop Poetry Contest
Deadline: Apr 12th

Haiku
Deadline: Apr 15th


Writing Classes

0 classes available. Click here locate a class and to learn more.

Rank

Poet: None
Author: None
Novel: None
Reviewer:None
Votes: None






Reviews from
Angus and the Crocodile


A monologue.

  3 total reviews 
Comment by
Halfree
 
Poet Rating
 
Author Rating For Short Works
 
Author Rating For Novels
 
Review Stars
  Rank:  282
 
Good
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
Just looking around and came across this story. Have read it three times. Think the story line is quite good but the telling a ragged. It might be that my muse is more U.S, English oriented.
The notes to this story seem very much like an apology. If one has to tell the reader what he is reading, then the telling of the story need some work.
The photo does adds very little to the story ... does not pull the reader in.
In your posting, you explain what and how the story came to be. Do your readers need to know all that you posted? I think you have a good story, one that will pull the reader in.
The opening lines of the story gives the reader a lot of information that is slow and does not pull the reader in.
Suppose I do not know Angus, then what?
Maybe. Angus my next door neighbor was eaten by a crocodile.
Think this is a good story that needs some rewrite.


 Comment Written 31-Oct-2019


Comment by
davisr (Rhonda)
Premier Author
Rhonda
 
Poet Rating
 
Author Rating For Short Works
 
Author Rating For Novels
 
Review Stars
  Rank:  221
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
A cute story about poor Angus the crocodile bait. It sounds like the ramblings of an old town storyteller, much like my own father.

It's a likeable story that captures and holds the attention. You sure had me on the bones part. I completely thought Angus was a serial killer!

Great job,
Rhonda


 Comment Written 09-May-2019


Comment by
Debra White
Premier Author
Premier Reader
 
Poet Rating
 
Author Rating For Short Works
 
Author Rating For Novels
 
Review Stars
 
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
Richard :)
Good to be reading you again. I've missed you!
I really enjoyed this story. It's very well written and your narrators voice is really engaging. Great content and I see nothing obvious to edit. Thanks for entertaining me :)
Best wishes, Debra


 Comment Written 09-May-2019


  -1-   Next Page 


Market your book.
Advertising options.
There Was No Other Way
of Eden, from Eve's Point of View


Share or Bookmark
  Contact Us | En español | Advertise With Us

© 2015 FanStory.com, Inc. All Rights Reserved. Terms under which this service is provided to you. Privacy