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Reviews from
South Main Sidewalk


free verse for the club

  10 total reviews 
Comment by
Pearl Edwards
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  Rank:  184
 
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Loved this one Red, and it had me chuckling in the end as you walk back hoping your car is still there and free of locks.Great descriptions, you really put us there on the side walk with you passing the different folks. Well done with the topic and the free verse,
cheers,
valda


 Comment Written 24-May-2019



reply by the author on 25-May-2019
    I have no idea how my rural county compares to America, Australia or the world, but my stop by the road set me thinking...thanks very much for reading my free verse on sidewalks.
Comment by
Joan E.
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I am glad the Club's prompt inspired you to create this free verse. It is packed with detailed descriptions of your memories. I liked your vivid references to the "slaughterhouse" and the "phony news anchors". I felt transported... -Joan


 Comment Written 19-May-2019



reply by the author on 19-May-2019
    Thank you very much for reading my sidewalk prompt free verse. It was based on a true event. Small town USA is changing....

reply by Joan E. on 19-May-2019
    It had to all be true. And, yes, Small town USA is definitely changing! Sighs- Joan
Comment by
Priest B. Brown
 
 
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When youth feels that their elders are an annoyance, then we shame ourselves into believing we are of singular importance. This is the fate of our society.

The internet and mass media knows no geographical areas and as such, their influences runs from coast-to-coast.

The images of a society in the midst of narcissism is striking. Excellent work!


 Comment Written 19-May-2019



reply by the author on 19-May-2019
    Our American society is changing continually, whether for the better or worse, who knows. Thanks very much for reading my try at a free verse about sidewalks, as prompted by the club...
Comment by
BeasPeas
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Hi Red. This is an interesting free verse with several topics iny opinion. It speaks of a changing slice of Americana through the eyes of age. One is the impersonalization of what once may have been a cozy small town where someone would offer a "lift" to a fellow in need, another is the contrast between the butt-cracked girl and how decency has changed, another is the newcomer who expects streets paved with gold, while others may see the threat of uncontrolled immigration. There is a typo here: "The may (May) sun is warm,"

You're right about one thing that is my passion as a vegetarian: "Across the river, prison like, the slaughter house belches steam and has a hypocritically huge flag out front, but the trucks roll in and the
yard dog snorts around and the dying never stops."
Marilyn


 Comment Written 18-May-2019



reply by the author on 19-May-2019
    Thanks for catching that uncapped month, and for reading and reviewing my free verse attempt for the free verser's club...the Pilgrim plant processes frier chickens, is the only large industry left in the county, and employs mostly immigrants...
Comment by
Sandra du Plessis
 
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 Rank:  13
 
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A very well-written free verse poem and an excellent interpretation of a sidewalk. It is there for everyone to use whenever they feel the need, but there is always sone one who means they own everything.


 Comment Written 18-May-2019



reply by the author on 19-May-2019
    The immigrants flood the schools with children who speak another language, they take over neighborhoods, forcing others out, and they do not pay their share of land taxes, simple facts. So far they have been peacefully tolerated, but they are unpleasant neighbors. Thanks for reading and reviewing my try at a free verse for the club.
Comment by
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humpwhistle
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I like this view of a piece of America, Red. I'm not certain whether you're speaking in your own voice, or that of an assumed character. Whichever, it sounds authentic to me. My sadness is real, too.

Peace, Lee


You mention what goes on in the slaughterhouse, before you mention the slaughterhouse. That confused me. I had to backtrack.


 Comment Written 18-May-2019



reply by the author on 19-May-2019
    Well, I didn't walk, I had the fluid in my car, but as I added it to the Merc, I watched the people passing on the new sidewalk. I left out the eccentric chap on the bicycle with all the pennants and windmills and spoke flappers and sign that said "Homeless. Wire Art for Sale." Thanks for reading and reviewing, Lee...
Comment by
damommy
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So many good lines, where do I start? I love it that you felt your mother in the car. As for greeting people, it's almost a lost thing anymore. I like the 'white plates' description, and the 'blade behind' him phrase. The 'faintest scent of something trapped' is funny. You always write with such vivid descriptions, and much of it is exactly how I feel.


 Comment Written 18-May-2019



reply by the author on 19-May-2019
    This happened, except I had the transmission fluid and did not have to walk. As I added it to the car, the people passed on the sidewalk and ignored me. I left out the "homeless" guy on the ornamented bicycle with the "wire art for sale" sign. He is a wee bit unreal...thanks for reading and reviewing my free verse attempt.
Comment by
Alcreator Litt Dear
 
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 Rank:  11
 
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Just you had South Main sidewalk and met other walkers and noticed none cared or greeted the old walking man, now courtesy appears costs something; well said, well done. Write to inspire, change -- DR ALCREATOR


 Comment Written 18-May-2019



reply by the author on 19-May-2019
    Courtesy is a historical concept in this area. Only when one meets a familiar face from older times does it appear at all. Thanks very much for reading and reviewing my free verse for the club.
Comment by
Jannypan (Jan)
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 Rank:  7
 

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You did a great job with the prompt. Red. I enjoyed reading your free verse. You words are descriptive. I could 'see' this as I read it. I like the part about the old car. The ending line is very telling. was it for good? Who knows/ But it did change the scenery forever. Thanks for sharing. Jan


 Comment Written 18-May-2019



reply by the author on 19-May-2019
    I helped my mom shop for that old Merc, early in 1994. She signed the title over to me in 1999 but kept driving it until an aneurysm disabled her in 2006. Thanks very much for reading and reviewing my attack on the free verse form for the free versers' club, and especially thanks for that sixth star!
Comment by
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Dolly'sPoems
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I enjoyed your descriptive walk Red, we become invisible when we are old, unless someone has a grudge to bare and then you shine like a beacon. The mix of people on the streets are much the same in my town except for the gleaming white plates! The British don't take care of their teeth. But you have the right to your part of the sidewalk, earned with blood sweat and tears and tolerance of the government and life's challenges, much enjoyed, always a pleasure to read, love Dolly x


 Comment Written 18-May-2019



reply by the author on 19-May-2019
    I simply chose the last time I was near an actual sidewalk and made a free verse of it. We have highways and parking lots, but not many sidewalks along our streets...thanks for reading and reviewing.
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