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Reviews from
Peeper's Picnic


cascade suite

  12 total reviews 
Comment by
Pearl Edwards
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A picnic on your porch with your two favourite guests, Miko and Twig. Good Cascade write Red both of these. The second one is emotional - absent friends now make me sigh.- it's sad to see your old friends go. Both are well penned, and enjoyable reads,
cheers,
valda


 Comment Written 06-Jun-2019


reply by the author on 06-Jun-2019
    Yet another neighbor died in the traffic that now races through our community since that was posted...it is getting scary...thanks very much for reading and reviewing.
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dragonpoet
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It does seem like both are cascade poems. The first one shows we do anything to beat summer heat The second one is mournful and uses the frogs croaks as the sound of people crying.
Both work well for the clubs they were meant to be in. You still could of put the second poem in the pix this club and in the description say
in is a cascade poem.

Keep writing

Joan


 Comment Written 31-May-2019


reply by the author on 31-May-2019
    Peepers live in a dark and rugged hollow near my house, so the pix this prompt hit home. My cat and dog and I ate out on the porch, listening to the frogs and thinking of old friends who died this year...not a picnic , maybe, but food with bugs...both poems I was working on were cascades as potlatch club required, so I posted both. Thanks for reading and reviewing.

reply by dragonpoet on 01-Jun-2019
    I hear more frogs and toads than I see here.
    No problem.
    Have a great weekend.
    ~Joan
Comment by
2014 Novelist and 2016 Short Works Writer Of The Year
Phyllis Stewart
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These are both delightful! I like the rhyme pattern of this cascade form. It sounds good read aloud too. You did a great job on the form and the content. :)


 Comment Written 31-May-2019


reply by the author on 31-May-2019
    Just the facts, Ma'am, as Joe Friday used to say. Me, cat and dog, and bugs dining on the porch listening to the peepers in sinkhole holler. My wife's niece that I mentioned in a poem died last week, and an old friend and co-worker, also. Day after tomorrow I turn seventy-five. Ugh. Thanks for reading and reviewing.

reply by Phyllis Stewart on 31-May-2019
    Happy Birthday before FS sends out the announcement. You're a youngun, only a year older than I am. :)
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karenina
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I offer this here because I can't be the only one who doesn't know all of these poetry forms and it helps to understand the "recipe" both to read the offering and in case one wants to give one a try!

Cascade Poetry Form: Created by Udit Bhatia, the Cascade form "is all about receptiveness, but in a smooth cascading way like a waterfall". There is no set meter or rhyme scheme. The defining feature of the form is that the lines of the first stanza are repeated as refrain lines in subsequent stanzas to give a "cascading effect". S1 L1 is repeated as the last line of S2, S1 L2 is repeated as the last line of S3, and so on until all lines in S1 have been used. The number of stanzas is therefore one more than the number of lines in S1. )Example rhyme scheme for a three stanza Cascade: ABC deA fgB hiC)

That being placed let me say it sounds a lot more complicated than it is...and your example(s) show it so be a delightfully smooth and lyrical pattern that I'm guessing would fit many a theme!

Thoroughly enjoyable and I thank you for sharing yet another wonderful form!--Karenina


 Comment Written 31-May-2019


reply by the author on 31-May-2019
    My bad, one usually posts notes about the required form in a club entry. Thanks very much for reading, reviewing, and the notes.

reply by karenina on 31-May-2019
    You are NOT bad....I know many who never post notes and I don't think it ought to be a requirement. There's something to be said for the reader taking some initiative if a form interests him or her...and after all...one can find the form and formula ON THE GOOGLE as my great aunt calls it! (smile)---Karenina
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Dolly'sPoems
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Are Miko and Twig your dogs? No two days are alike here in England, one day I was freezing in my summer dress, the next I wore jeans and was boiling hot! I would love to feel that Georgia heat that I have heard so much about, love Dolly x


 Comment Written 31-May-2019


reply by the author on 31-May-2019
    Miko is my chihuahua and Twig my elderly tabby. I love these mountains because the weather is more variable and cooler than lowland Georgia, a truly subtropic nonparadise. Thanks very much for reading and reviewing.
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Jannypan (Jan)
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You did a great job with both of your cascade poems, Red. I enjoyed reading both. I could picture the scene of the 'picnic' on your porch. You are right about the animals mooching a bite. I like the phrase 'slid on by' in the second poem. I believe many will identify with the feelings of loss of absent friends, too. The tiny changes of two words in two of the repeated lines of the second poem are subtle but add to the smoothness of your lines. I like the idea of the three frogs 'crying.' Thanks for sharing. Jan


 Comment Written 30-May-2019


reply by the author on 31-May-2019
    A six! Jan, I needed that, I have been in a slump. Since both poems were cascade form, I decided to post both and attack the pix this frogs another day. Thanks much for reading and reviewing!
Comment by
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Gloria ....
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Okay, so now I understand the cascade poem. It's quite a lovely little poetic form, but then of course that could be your deft pen too. These two poems work very well in concert with each other and I particularly connected to line about absent/deceased friends that make those frogs sigh.

Another fine duet, Ellijay.

Gloria


 Comment Written 30-May-2019


reply by the author on 31-May-2019
    My wife's niece that I mentioned in another poem( the last living soul in my will) died this week, and two old friends and two of my cats this month, so the peepers sound sad to me...I'll try again on pix this, and put up the two cascades together...thanks for reviewing.
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Liz O'Neill
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You have used good personification in both poems. This figure of speech endears the message of the poems to the readers. You create good imagery with your descriptive words. We all know what that rusty chair looks like one we've all seen, some maybe even had one. You also gather in ah's when we hear of the peepers. I love the sound. It let us know the waters have truly warmed up. The ice has melted! Both poems are nicely written.


 Comment Written 30-May-2019


reply by the author on 31-May-2019
    I have peepers in the shady hollow by my house, and people in my circle are dropping. Thanks very much for reading and reviewing my two cascades, which I felt best about posting together.
Comment by
Alcreator Litt Dear
 
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Peeper's picnic was not enjoyable at any round, had no delicious and ample arrangement of food, and music or songs; well said, well done. Write to inspire, change -- DR ALCREATOR


 Comment Written 30-May-2019


reply by the author on 31-May-2019
    Two old friends died, and the last person mentioned in my will, the wife's niece, died and two of my old cats, so the peepers in the hollow by the house sound sad to me...thanks for reading and reviewing.
Comment by
damommy
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So, you did double duty. Good poems for both challenges. You have great alliteration and consonance. The cool weather didn't slide out here. It ran! Now, it's hot and humid. Ugh!


 Comment Written 30-May-2019


reply by the author on 30-May-2019
    It was hot and humid here until that sweet breeze came up. A snack in the open air on this hill is a lot like a picnic...thanks very much for reading and reviewing.
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