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Reviews from
Assassin Nation


Viewing comments for Chapter 5 "Missing in Action"

A sequel to the novel Baker's Dozen

  9 total reviews 
Comment by
kahpot
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Another great chapter, leaving us still with the uncertain trust between Manny and his so called Allies, very well written as the story continues****kahpot


 Comment Written 04-Aug-2019



reply by the author on 04-Aug-2019
    Thank you, kahpot, for following the story. Bill
Comment by
susand3022
 
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Hi Bill, I really like that bit at the end about the Lion, walking around, seeking who to devour! That's great imagery... Well, I guess we'll have to come back to see what's happened to Mr. Connor... :)


 Comment Written 09-Jun-2019



reply by the author on 09-Jun-2019
    Thanks, Susan
Comment by
brenda faye curtis
 
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This is, as always, well written and intriguing, but I' not sure why Ryan Deere is suddenly not a man they can trust. I must have missed something along the way.


 Comment Written 07-Jun-2019



reply by the author on 07-Jun-2019
    Not yet revealed. Always tease the next chapter.

reply by brenda faye curtis on 08-Jun-2019
    I look forward to it.
Comment by
Loren .
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Intriguing chapter; and the events probably all too real. So much we don't know about how our government works, not only on the military side, but all branches regardless. You've shown here that it takes all kinds of "talent" to be in these type of jobs and what is required. I can't help but wonder who monitors them to assure the goal is being maintained with integrity? Loren


 Comment Written 06-Jun-2019



reply by the author on 06-Jun-2019
    As we read in history books of the CIA, FBI, and NSA, many of these organizations become dynasties run through shadow controllers using funds from all sources imaginable.
Comment by
2020 Recognized Writer of the Year
lyenochka
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Excellent
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Oh, that Samantha Anthrax (yes, not a typo) is dangerous. Okay, so they know that Connor survived and they found DNA belonging to GI Joe, right? But what's Deere supposed to do? Capture CC?


 Comment Written 05-Jun-2019



reply by the author on 05-Jun-2019
    Deere Ned?s to look for and kill Johnson, whom they recently dropped off. Others will follow in the same way Connor sent malcontents one feed the assassin training.
Comment by
D.G Leo
 
 
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Hello!

I really liked this chapter. It was short though intense. I feel as though the characters were very well developed. This said, I did not understand what exactly was going on. Aside from that, I envy your ability to write dialogue so nicely! Could you give me some tips?

Have a great day!

-D.G


 Comment Written 05-Jun-2019



reply by the author on 05-Jun-2019
    This is the fifth chapter in this story, which is a sequel to another story, so it would be difficult to know. Thanks for reading though.

    The basic rule for dialogue is not to confuse the reader. I should know who is speaking. When you change speakers, begin anew paragraph.
    Don?t overuse speaker tags if it isn?t necessary. If the speaker would know who is speaking, there?s no need in identifying them.


reply by D.G Leo on 05-Jun-2019
    Thank you for all the information. It helps a lot!

    Have a great evening!

    D.G
Comment by
Earl Corp
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I don't understand who the extra body belongs to, did i miss something? This book has a lot more intrigue than Baker's dozen. I can't wait to read the next installment.


 Comment Written 05-Jun-2019



reply by the author on 05-Jun-2019
    They didn?t know about GI Joe being there.
Comment by
nomi338
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Excellent advice. 1st Peter 5:8. I have used that quote in some of my writings before. Sadly, some are not capable of the discipline required to be diligent enough to accomplish this. Bill, I have said this before, and I will say it yet again, this is some very good, consistent writing. You have managed to stay on point with your story and this adds to the enjoyment of the story immensely. Very good.


 Comment Written 05-Jun-2019



reply by the author on 05-Jun-2019
    Thank you, nomi, for the encouraging review. Bill
Comment by
Bill Pinder
 
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Interesting chapter describing a very unexpected incident for Ryan. I like how are tied in that scripture, which I guess is a warning about Samantha and what she is capable of. Thanks for sharing this!
Bill


 Comment Written 05-Jun-2019



reply by the author on 05-Jun-2019
    Thank you, Bill, for giving this a look.
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