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Deadline: Dec 10th

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Reviews from
true colors - designers


create a chapter challenge

  9 total reviews 
Comment by
poetwatch
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  Rank:  169
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  Rank:  204
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  Rank:  81
 
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This is a good way to test the waters and sell your designs, FLYLIKEANEAGLE. You know that you have to come up with many designs. :) Just kidding. Good start for the first chapter. I will be waiting to read your next chapter. Good luck on the contest.


 Comment Written 11-Jun-2019


Comment by
Joan E.
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  Rank:  44
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 Rank:  36
 
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I admired all of the engraved words and the idea of exchanging clothes for fitness classes. And nature walks are a great way to get inspiration! Best wishes in the contest- Joan


 Comment Written 11-Jun-2019


Comment by
Gail Denham
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Hmmm - a good entry for this fanstory challenge. A business plan to make keys (and probably other things) with Bible verses or words that give courage? Nice idea.


 Comment Written 11-Jun-2019


Comment by
royowen
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 Rank:  1
 

#1 Ranked Poet!

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This is an excellent chapter you've created Nancy. Such busy and frenetic activity to bless the heart, and a great testimony of service, passing on the learnt crafting and great efforts your heroines have devised, well done Nancy, good entry in this contest, good luck,blessings, Roy


 Comment Written 10-Jun-2019


Comment by
misscookie
 
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I love the photo you choose to go with your poem
they are a perfect match
It put a smile on my face thinking how I choose to do the word and thought and share it with other each day.
It severs the same purpose as the necklace.
Thank you for sharing
cookie



 Comment Written 10-Jun-2019



reply by the author on 10-Jun-2019
    miss cookie: I tried to show a photo of a necklace but the computer upgrade didn't work. So cats are always cute. I added this into my story. I used to be a fashion designer of sportswear. Glad you liked the chapter. flylikeaneagle

reply by misscookie on 11-Jun-2019
    Your very welcome, I use to be a design
    and make clothes also back in the day
    have a nice day.
    Cookie
Comment by
Pam (respa)
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  Rank:  21
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  Rank:  27 (+1)
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  Rank:  30
 
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-Great image and
good story, Nancy.
-It held my attention
all the way through.
-You created interest
in the products, the
business, and designers,
as well as the cat!
-Good description of the
keys in the beginning.
-Good business discussion
between Zoe and Crystal
about the product line,
as well as their interest in fitness.
-I like the ending with a nature
walk, and Chanel's nap!
-Good luck in the contest.


 Comment Written 10-Jun-2019



reply by the author on 10-Jun-2019
    Pam: thank you. I used to be a fashion designer of sportswear so this was a personal story as well. I added words to make the word count. Enjoy. nancy

reply by Pam (respa) on 10-Jun-2019
    You are welcome, Nancy. Thanks for sharing about your story. I enjoyed it.
Comment by
jeSSaNN
 
 
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Well after all the poetry I've reviewed and also wrote it was a nice change to see some chapter pieces as well. I enjoyed the light and fluffy feel to this. Very nice and warm too! Good luck!


 Comment Written 10-Jun-2019



reply by the author on 10-Jun-2019
    Jess: thank you for stopping by. I'm trying to develop this into a novel. flylikeaneagle
Comment by
nor84
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  Rank:  411
 
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You might want to recheck your word count. Contest announcement says:

There are requirements for length. Between 475 and 500 words (not including title.) When I checked this with MSword, it had fewer than 475 words. Wouldn't take much to fix it. Good luck in the contest.


 Comment Written 10-Jun-2019



reply by the author on 10-Jun-2019
    nor: thank you for checking the word count. I added more words to make the chapter have 493, Enjoy the upgrade. flylikeaneagle
Comment by
lyenochka
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Poet Rating
  Rank:  3
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  Rank:  3
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  Rank:  2
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  Rank:  2
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 Rank:  2
 

#3 Ranked Author

#2 Ranked Novelist

#3 Ranked Poet

#2 Ranked Script Writer

#2 Ranked Reviewer
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How nice that these two fashion designers work so well together. I like that they get inspiration from nature and test out their products themselves.

Comments:
" Zoe petted their black and white tuxedo cat, Channel."
This sentence is in the middle of this piece but Channel was introduced in the third sentence and I had to guess that Channel was a cat back then. So I'd put the descriptive information earlier.

"Yes, I remembered to cut these for our sewers. " I understand that "sewers" are the seamstresses and tailors but it sounds too much like the plumbing term.

"She added cat food to Chanel's bowl. " (Channel?) I think you should stick with just one spelling but personally, because this is about fashion, I would rather prefer the "Chanel" spelling because that's like Coco Chanel.


 Comment Written 09-Jun-2019



reply by the author on 10-Jun-2019
    lyenochka: thank you for the lovely review. The spell check changed Chanel to Channel...lol. Cats are great buddies. I appreciate you. nancy
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