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Reviews from
Scottish Tragedy, Interrupted


a contest entry

  16 total reviews 
Comment by
2014 Story Writer Of The Year
humpwhistle
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#5 Ranked Author
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Ah, from the Bard, to the Autobahn! Love the poetic turns 'dusty daily destiny' 'unfestooned desk he took stock'.

I might have substituted 'Harley' for motorcycle. Maybe something more forceful than 'saunterted'. Same with 'submit'. I'm thinking Ian's got more attitude built up. Just one man's thoughts.

Best of luck, Mark.

Peace, Lee


 Comment Written 12-Jun-2019



reply by the author on 17-Jun-2019
    Thanks for the review, Lee - sorry for the delay in responding. I actually was going to have Ian buy an accordion instead of a motorcycle- that made sense to me but I figured it wouldn't to anybody else so it changed it to motorcycle thereby making the story a bit more trite - but once I decided to go that route, I agree I should have gone all the way and substituted 'Harley' for motorcycle and had him march into personnel . Thanks for taking the time to notice those little things.
Comment by
pome lover
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Katharine Folkes
 
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Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level
wonderful!
Somebody ought to bottle your creativity. I'd buy a bottle, for sure.
I think we had to memorize that speech at one time, but, naturally I've forgotten it.
This is a very clever and entertaining 75 word flash fiction. Win-worthy.
Good luck in the contest.
pome lover


 Comment Written 12-Jun-2019



reply by the author on 12-Jun-2019
    Thanks so much for the six and the kind review. I too had to memorize that speech - don't know why it popped back into my head the other day, but once it did, the rest flowed from that.
Comment by
2016 Poet Of The Year
Dean Kuch
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Some people dre...
 
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Who can blame him?
Why work at the same old dead-end job right up until the day we die without taking the opportunity to enjoy life a little?
All Ian MacClellan did was take the necessary steps to see that he did.
After all, none of us are guaranteed a tomorrow.
Nice micro-flash fiction tale, Mark.
Good luck in the contest!

~Dean


 Comment Written 12-Jun-2019



reply by the author on 12-Jun-2019
    Thanks, Dean (says the 59 year-old man as he sits at his desk at the same job that he has worked for the last 20 years - maybe I'll take a long lunch today - gotta gradually build up to the motorcycle)

reply by Dean Kuch on 12-Jun-2019
    Easy Rider, man.
    You go, daddy!
    Write on and Right on!
    ~Dean ... :-)))
Comment by
Sandra du Plessis
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#10 Ranked Poet

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A very well-written seventy-five word flash fiction about the realization that at sixty-two years our lives was consumed by work each day and we never lived one day, it is time to start living our lives.


 Comment Written 12-Jun-2019



reply by the author on 12-Jun-2019
    Thanks, Sandra.
Comment by
closetpoetjester
Metronomaniacal
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Hmmm...are you 62 by any chance? hahaha
Just kidding.
It IS good when we finally stop to smell the flowers, or roar past them as it were LOL...whatever tickles our fancy.
Great job with 75 words and turning his life from boring and uneventless with one leg in the grave, to virile and ballsy and full of adventure...and all in 15 minutes haha

It's never too late.
Loved "unfestooned"...such a cool word.
P


 Comment Written 12-Jun-2019



reply by the author on 12-Jun-2019
    I'm nothing like the loser in the story - I'm only 59 whereas he's 62. He dreams of motorcycles while I do not (because my wife would never let me get one).

    Look at the time - guess I should get back to work.

reply by closetpoetjester on 12-Jun-2019
    LOL
    Do what my husband did.
    Buy one WITHOUT wifey's permish.

    On second thoughts, don't.
    It didn't go down well at all.

    Especially when he got knocked off it and broke his femur then 18months later I had to shut my business because of it.

    Then again, I guess I wouldn't have written all those poems from 2010 till now, so I suppose I should thank him haha

    Yes, get back to work LOL
Comment by
Mastery
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Semper Fi
 
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Hi, Mark. This is a very good flash job, my friend. I see winner written all over it. Classy art work for it too. Ah, yes, every hot-blooded guy's dream, eh? Good luck in the contest, buddy. Bob


 Comment Written 11-Jun-2019



reply by the author on 12-Jun-2019
    Actually, Maggie and I are talking about doing a Route 66 trip in the fall (in a car though, motorcycles are not quite our speed)

reply by Mastery on 12-Jun-2019
    Ahhh, yes. I have been up and down old route 66 when I was in the Marines Usually I was hitchhiking a ride either to my home in New York, coming from Barstow, Calif. It is a long haul but a lot of fun and great scenery. I always tried to stop in Winslow, Arizona. It gets colder than a witch's tit in the wintertime. Good idea. I would love to be able to do that again. :) Bob
Comment by
susand3022
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#5 Ranked Script Writer
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Hi Mark, I really hope I'm not trudging into some office to sit behind a desk at 62! Ugh! I suppose some people do, probably a lot of them, I'll more than likely be working then myself... doing something... hopefully it won't be in a business behind a desk! LOL


 Comment Written 11-Jun-2019



reply by the author on 12-Jun-2019
    Thanks, Susan. I write this from behind my desk. With three kids in college, I'll be behind this desk for several more years. And so, every once in a while, I take a break to visit Fanstory. Not so bad.
Comment by
Pam (respa)
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-Good to see you, Mark.
-I have missed you on FS;
I hope all is well.
-I like the image for your entry,
and how you tie the quote
into the opening line.
-Some good images,
like "unfestooned desk."
-Well, he decided he would
celebrate in a big way,
but I'm not sure about a
motorcycle on e-bay.
-Good luck in the contest.




 Comment Written 11-Jun-2019



reply by the author on 12-Jun-2019
    Yeah, I'm not a motorcycle guy wither - but I did spend some money on a regular bicycle a couple of years ago - great investment - helps me break the monotony of life behind this desk.

reply by Pam (respa) on 12-Jun-2019
    We used to ride a street bike years ago, but it didn't come from e-bay! Today, walking suffices. Thanks for sharing, Mark.
Comment by
Rikki66
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Ian had the courage that many seniors lack. To try a new life before all the tomorrows are gone. Not sure a motorcycle is the best move or not, maybe a Miata. Good work.
Rikki


 Comment Written 11-Jun-2019



reply by the author on 12-Jun-2019
    Yeah, I'm not a motorcycle guy wither - but I did spend some money on a regular bicycle a couple of years ago - great investment - helps me break the monotony of life behind this desk.

reply by Rikki66 on 12-Jun-2019
    I have a bike I ride when my knees let me.
    Rikki
Comment by
Sally Law
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#2 Ranked Author

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This is good and insightful peek into the aging soul. I decided to become a writer and gave up the Harley notions. I will ride I to the sunset though....

This is great and a wonderful entry in the 75 word flash fiction contest. I counted exactly 75 words.

Good to see you writing, Mark.
Sal :+)


 Comment Written 11-Jun-2019



reply by the author on 12-Jun-2019
    Yeah, I'm not a motorcycle guy wither - but I did spend some money on a regular bicycle a couple of years ago - great investment - helps me break the monotony of life behind this desk.
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