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Timing is everything

  42 total reviews 
Comment by
jenintorre
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  Rank:  111
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  Rank:  96
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  Rank:  115
 
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A very good little flash fiction with a surprise ending.I wasn't expecting that. The eight hairy legs was a great way to mislead the reader. Well done. Jen.


 Comment Written 16-Jun-2019



reply by the author on 16-Jun-2019
    Jen, did you fall into my WEB of deception? (like what I did there? web/spider inference...)

    Thanks for the encouraging review. xo
Comment by
mvbrooks
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Nice play on common fears of 8 legged spiders and the surprise that the 8 legs actually come from two different creatures. The fear of spiders and the fear of losing a treasured job played well in this short piece.


 Comment Written 15-Jun-2019



reply by the author on 16-Jun-2019
    Thanks very much for this terrific review, mvbrooks. You totally captured every last essence of this piece. xo
Comment by
Sylvia Page
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Hello, again Rachelle,
Was it a deadly brown spider? Yes, hit or miss the timing is everything. Good imagery and tension. Hope you managed to kill it.
Best wishes
Sylvia


 Comment Written 15-Jun-2019



reply by the author on 15-Jun-2019
    No, no; it was twin baby giraffes...and the deadline was given by his boss: a usable picture of them or he was fired.

reply by Sylvia Page on 16-Jun-2019
    Hmmm, I was confused as I am terrified by those critters and some of them in Australia can mean paralysis or even death.
Comment by
Stephanie Burster
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Good piece of writing. However I did not get the sentence about eight hairy legs. Were they something you fear? It seems like two separate pieces. Both nice.


 Comment Written 15-Jun-2019



reply by the author on 15-Jun-2019
    No, the words "eight hairy legs" were to make the reader think "spider." The point of flash fiction a lot of times is to misdirect the reader. But, in the end, you learn that the eight hairy legs were those of twin baby giraffes.
Comment by
Coco Jane
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  Rank:  74
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Great surprise in this poem! I am not afraid of spiders, so I shake my head at others' dread of the little critters.
Nice job of saying a lot in so few words.


 Comment Written 15-Jun-2019



reply by the author on 15-Jun-2019
    I'm with you. I don't love them, certainly, but they don't frighten me.

    Thanks for the delightful review!
Comment by
Raul1
JOSE CONDE
Miami
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  241 (+1)
Author Rating For Short Works
  Rank:  138 (+3)
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  Rank:  61
 
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This story is very funny. I like your story. You did well in this write. I like it because it is another different kind of fiction read. No grammatical errors. Thanks for sharing!


 Comment Written 14-Jun-2019



reply by the author on 14-Jun-2019
    Thanks, Raul1.

reply by Raul1 on 14-Jun-2019
    You're welcome.
Comment by
James W. Reynolds
 
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Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level
This is a very fun short story. I like the misdirection in the beginning - at least for me. I expected a spider. However, the true situation was surprisingly even worse. The pacing is fast and effective. Nice work.


 Comment Written 14-Jun-2019



reply by the author on 14-Jun-2019
    Thank you very much, James. I see I caught you up in my WEB of deception (like what I did there, James? Web/spider...)

    Anyway, I appreciate the review. xo

reply by James W. Reynolds on 14-Jun-2019
    Well-played, madam.
Comment by
Ava Wilson
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Great job on my favorite category! I love the surprise twists at the end of a flash fiction piece and you did a great job with yours. I look forward to reading more of your work.


 Comment Written 14-Jun-2019



reply by the author on 14-Jun-2019
    I love dribble and flash fiction pieces, too, Ava!! Thanks for this really nice, very encouraging review! xo
Comment by
doggymad1
 
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This was such fun. I thought it would definitely be a spider. The one shot would have been with the sweeping brush.

Great twist in the tail (sorry lol). Perhaps you could have sent the boss to hold the gate

hugs
Freda


 Comment Written 14-Jun-2019



reply by the author on 14-Jun-2019
    Hahahaha. You are not sorry for writing 'tail.' But I love your humor. (No wonder we get along so well!)

    Thanks for the fun review. xo
Comment by
karenina
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  Rank:  110
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  Rank:  161
 
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Twin Giraffe's! Now THAT I wasn't expecting! To build such suspense and a threatening sense of danger in so few words is a real skill. I was going for a spider (with the eight legs and all)---but I was wondering why you'd need a GUN (you referred to "only one shot" and my mind went east while yours went west)---Ah...a photo, Giraffe's! You had me!--Karenina


 Comment Written 14-Jun-2019



reply by the author on 14-Jun-2019
    I entangled you in my WEB of deception, didn't I, Karenina. (Like what I did there? Web/spider...)

    Anyway, thank you for the encouraging review. You know I always appreciate your kind words. xo

reply by karenina on 15-Jun-2019
    Hah-hah! You're a wit and so am I...So can we be half wits together? (Smile)---Karenina

reply by the author on 15-Jun-2019
    HAHAHAHAAHAH. Better than no wit. (And we know it all!....)

reply by karenina on 15-Jun-2019
    Oh, that was maybe in poor taste....please know I was kidding! --Karenina

reply by the author on 15-Jun-2019
    I thought it was funny! I totally knew you were kidding!! (You never have to worry about insulting me; I know that would NEVER be your intention, Karenina!)xo
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