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Ancient Chinese Proverb


5-7-5 Poem

  11 total reviews 
Comment by
juliaSjames
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Confucius say, when enemy smile ... run away.

Masterful write, Steve. The format is well suited to your art of war commentary. Or vice versa! By a process of association your poem brought back to mind the terracotta army I saw in Xi'an. Some leaders like to build crazy monuments to themselves, mud warriors, great walls ...

As for your author notes, ancient Chinese curse applies. Seems we are "living in interesting times". Can we break the hex?

Good luck in the contest.

Blessings Julia





 Comment Written 20-Jun-2019



reply by the author on 21-Jun-2019
    Perhaps it should be compulsory for all leaders to read Shelley's Ozymandias. Obama's joke about Trump having his name in gold installed in the White House draws ever nearer to being beyond a joke.

    Yes, I've always liked the subtlety of the 'interesting times' curse, even if it's not actually true. Things have ratcheted up even more today, so the second poem (in the notes) is starting to look prophetic as well!

    Steve
Comment by
strandregs
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Hi Stevy
That's the story of the human race.
Where I cautiously call it human.
Most animals are more humane.
Take the master Shaolin Kung Fu fighter.
he trained all his life just to beat his betters who turned out to be his
inferiors.
Something even horny stags do only once a year.:-))Z.


 Comment Written 20-Jun-2019



reply by the author on 21-Jun-2019
    Thanks, Zelick.

    Almost got to say 'I told you so' today. Maybe tomorrow unless saner heads prevail.

    Steve
Comment by
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Barb Hensongispsaca
Barb Henson
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Wow a tremendous piece for the 5-7-5 contest entry and so true, the braggart is the first to fall, that is what I love about some shows. A master of fighting gets whipped by a single blow. lol


 Comment Written 19-Jun-2019



reply by the author on 20-Jun-2019
    Thanks, Barb. I appreciate hearing your take on this.

    Steve
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Bill Pinder
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Very interesting and creative writing. Does this have any basis in a true proverb, or did you just totally make up the idea and go with it? Thanks for sharing!
Bill


 Comment Written 19-Jun-2019



reply by the author on 20-Jun-2019
    Thanks, Bill.

    No, I wrote the poem first and then thought, "Oh, that sounds like a Chines Proverb!"

    Steve
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dragonpoet
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I like the mix of the artwork and the words. The poem is sarcastic. It reminds the warrior that being showy and vain while fighting can lead
to death.
Good luck in the contest. Keep writing
Joan


 Comment Written 19-Jun-2019



reply by the author on 19-Jun-2019
    Thanks, Joan.

    Indeed my sarcastic streak sometimes appears, although I do try to keep it in check. Not enough syllables available here to probe too deeply into the pros and cons of fighting a war!

    Steve

reply by dragonpoet on 20-Jun-2019
    No problem, Steve. Sometimes less words used makes you think more.
    Joan
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tfawcus
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There's enough sabre rattling going on at the moment to give this a wider meaning, even without your author note. If not his hand, then at least his oil.


 Comment Written 19-Jun-2019



reply by the author on 19-Jun-2019
    Thanks, Tony.

    If it's oil then a few innocent civilians are going to lose their hands as well as the sabre-rattler in chief! Which is why I wouldn't mind seeing him ushered off stage sooner rather than later.

    Steve
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LisaMay
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#1 Ranked Author!

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Oh how it makes me so wild, as it does you, that the liar and sword-rattler is still in a position of power to be able to do so!! He needs to be cut loose entirely - not just the hand.
The Chinese proverbs provide old and current wisdom in your pen.


 Comment Written 18-Jun-2019



reply by the author on 19-Jun-2019
    What? You want to get rid of the man who has promised to cure cancer in his next term?!

    Loathsome, repugnant and vile, and I'm afraid many of his supporters are the same mixed with a healthy dose of gullibility.

    Steve

reply by LisaMay on 19-Jun-2019
    Yes indeed... I choked with disbelief when I saw he had promised that. He clearly thinks he is a miracle-worker. I wonder why he needed a plane to cross the Atlantic recently.
Comment by
Pam (respa)
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-This is a review of two poems, Steve!
-You have good artwork
for your poem, and the
syllable count is good.
-Effective use of one
continuous thought.
-I guess the moral is
he who rattles his sword
the loudest gets hand cut off!
-I will get back to you
on the second one.
-Good luck in this contest.


 Comment Written 18-Jun-2019



reply by the author on 19-Jun-2019
    Thanks, Pam. Some scary stuff going on in the world right now!

    Steve

reply by Pam (respa) on 19-Jun-2019
    You are welcome, and also right. We just have to do our own part to try and make it better,but it isn't easy.
Comment by
2014 Story Writer Of The Year
humpwhistle
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Ah, Butterfly, exaggeration is impossible when dealing with certain imbeciles--especially when election looms. (I think 'proclaims' works better than 'exclaims').

I believe you're onto something, Steve. Every bully eventually bleeds from the nose. Our self-proclaimed genius and his ass-licking cronies are stirring a pot we all may stew in.

Best of luck.

Peace, Lee





 Comment Written 18-Jun-2019



reply by the author on 19-Jun-2019
    Many thanks, Lee.

    Is Butterfly better than Grasshopper?

    You are quite right about 'proclaims' - I've changed that. The second poem was just a last minute addition to a 12th hour effort...

    Yes, you know my thoughts about the man, although he has promised to cure cancer!

    Steve
Comment by
Mystic Angel 7777
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LOL! Shocking to see you submit one of these. Line and syllable count are spot on but I never doubted your ability to count. Happy to see it was the hand and not the head since you have two of those. Good luck in the judging and thank you for sharing it.

This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.


 Comment Written 18-Jun-2019



reply by the author on 19-Jun-2019
    Thank you!

    There are some scary things going on in the world and I wouldn't trust the man in the Oval Office as far as I could kick him!

    Steve
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