Contact Us | En español    
         Join today or login

Status

New Here?
Sign Up
Fast! Three Questions.

Already a member?
Login

Contests

5-7-5 Poetry Contest
Deadline: In 2 Days

Free Verse Poetry Contest
Deadline: In 3 Days

Horror Writing Contest
Deadline: In 5 Days

Four Line Poem
Deadline: Jan 25th

20 Line Poem
Deadline: Jan 27th


Writing Classes

0 classes available. Click here locate a class and to learn more.

Rank

Poet: None
Author: None
Novel: None
Reviewer:None
Votes: None






Reviews from
A stream tumbles down


haiku

  16 total reviews 
Comment by
Gail Denham
Premier Author
 
Poet Rating
 
Author Rating For Short Works
 
Review Stars
 
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
Does the steam feel pain - I wonder - it often is a big drop. I'd sure not like to barrel over some of those falls on the way to the sea. Yet folks have done it - even on Niagra falls. It's a fascination. good poem


 Comment Written 29-Jun-2019



reply by the author on 03-Jul-2019
    I am not sure too. Since stones are hard ,pain can be a natural outcome.
    falling along stones can not be that enjoyable.thank you very much for this thought provoking review.
Comment by
Sylvia Page
Premier Author
Premier Reader
 
Poet Rating
 
Author Rating For Short Works
 
Author Rating For Novels
 
Review Stars
 
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
Sanku,
This Haiku is expertly crafted. I like the word choices you use...
A stream tumbles down
the rocks giggling to the sea
smile hiding the pain
Best wishes in the contest
Sylvia


 Comment Written 29-Jun-2019



reply by the author on 03-Jul-2019
    Thank you very much. for reading and writing this encouraging words.

reply by Sylvia Page on 03-Jul-2019
    Smiles
Comment by
estory
Premier Author
north carolina
 
Poet Rating
 
Author Rating For Short Works
 
Author Rating For Novels
 
Review Stars
  Rank:  65
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
The last line made the poem interesting to me. you had that perfect balance of haiku, the nature image, but what really made the poem stand out was that connection to a human experience that many neglect to put in their haiku. you created that moment of realizing not all smiles, not all beauty, is really beautiful; sometimes it hides great pain. I think my only real criticism is that 'giggling' maybe is a bit too light; maybe you could think of something with a little more shadow in it to set up that last epiphany line. estory


 Comment Written 29-Jun-2019



reply by the author on 03-Jul-2019
    Thank you very much for this beautiful review and for understanding my take on that scene.many were asking if a stream would feel pain?
    Stream id essentially seen as a happy entity.remember Keats poem "sweetest songs are that of saddest thoughts?'
Comment by
Hitcher
Premier Author
Premier Reader
 
Poet Rating
 
Author Rating For Short Works
 
Review Stars
 
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
Your creative little haiku is a thought provoker and causes one to stop and ponder the possibilities and directions your words offer up... the river is polluted maybe.


 Comment Written 29-Jun-2019



reply by the author on 03-Jul-2019
    Thank you very much .
Comment by
2019 Poet of the Year
Dolly'sPoems
Premier Author
Premier Reader
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  1
Author Rating For Short Works
 
Author Rating For Novels
 
Review Stars
  
 Rank:  3
 

#1 Ranked Poet!

#3 Ranked Reviewer
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
There is only one way for water to flow and the downward spiral I expect is the pain you are referring to here, the rocks gurgling too, I expect, much enjoyed, love Dolly x


 Comment Written 29-Jun-2019



reply by the author on 03-Jul-2019
    Thank you. Stream is usually portrayed as a happy entity ,but stones are hard. So I thought I can create a human interest element here. Thanks for the thoughts.
Comment by
patcelaw
Premier Author
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  41
Author Rating For Short Works
 
Author Rating For Novels
 
Review Stars
  Rank:  88
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
This is a very good haiku. I wish you the best in the contest. May you weekend be filled to overflowing with blessings.
Patricia


 Comment Written 28-Jun-2019



reply by the author on 03-Jul-2019
    Thank you very much.
Comment by
Ogden
 
Review Stars
 
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
Sanku, I might generously concede a stream "giggling to the sea," but I can't, in good conscience, countenance it's pain hidden by a smile.
(A fiver for intrepidity, anyhow.)

Don


 Comment Written 28-Jun-2019



reply by the author on 03-Jul-2019
    Thanks. Stream is always seen as a happy entity .But rocks are hard and falling through them cant be easy at least for humans. Tried to personify stream to bring that satori.

reply by Ogden on 03-Jul-2019
    Aha! :)
    Don
Comment by
Josh Walters
Premier Author
 
Poet Rating
 
Author Rating For Short Works
 
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
This could be taken many ways but put me right on the thought of pollution. I highly doubt that was the goal but either way it speaks to the pain our water systems feel from our overpopulation. Good luck in the contest.


 Comment Written 28-Jun-2019



reply by the author on 03-Jul-2019
    thank you very much for this thought provoking take Rocks are hard ,so I though there could be a not so smooth element here.
Comment by
Sandra du Plessis
Premier Author
Premier Reader
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  28
Author Rating For Short Works
  Rank:  9
Author Rating For Novels
 
Review Stars
  
 
 Rank:  5
 

#9 Ranked Author

#5 Ranked Reviewer
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
A very well-written haiku about water streams tumbling down towards the ocean over rocky riverbeds smiling and in joyful chuckles hiding the pain all the way.


 Comment Written 28-Jun-2019



reply by the author on 03-Jul-2019
    Thank you very much.
Comment by
misscookie
 
Poet Rating
 
Author Rating For Short Works
 
Author Rating For Novels
 
Script Rating
 
Review Stars
 
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
I like the artwork you choose to go with your poem
Which is a perfect match
You captured my attention from the first line to the last Your message is on point
thank you for sharing
And have a safe , blessed week-end
cookie


 Comment Written 28-Jun-2019



reply by the author on 03-Jul-2019
    Thank you very much .
  -1-  2  Next Page 


Market your book.
Advertising options.
Football Chapter 10 part 1
A mother faces life's struggles.


Share or Bookmark
  Contact Us | En español | Advertise With Us

© 2015 FanStory.com, Inc. All Rights Reserved. Terms under which this service is provided to you. Privacy