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5-7-5 Poetry Contest
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Deadline: Jun 14th

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Four Line Poem
Deadline: Jun 20th


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Reviews from
The Music of Freedom


Different songs, same message.

  15 total reviews 
Comment by
Y. M. Roger
FantasyGirl
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  3
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  Rank:  5
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  Rank:  20
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  Rank:  3
 

#5 Ranked Author

#3 Ranked Poet

#3 Ranked Reviewer
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Congrats on Third Place! A wonderful offering, Lady Rachelle -- loved your focus on the music of our celebrations....but, of course, I would expect nothing less (lol)! ;) ;) I am so very thankful for your joining in the 'Fourth Fun'!! ;) :) Take care and Happy Fourth of July! ;) Yvette


 Comment Written 03-Jul-2019



reply by the author on 03-Jul-2019
    Thank you! And the same to you! How will you be doing it up down there? Myself, I'll be walking in a parade with a former piano mom of mine who's now running for the county legislature! After that, who knows what! xo
Comment by
Janice Canerdy
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Your "stack of four" makes effective use of all its syllables with its rousing,
patriotic declarations of why we should be so proud and so grateful for our blessed freedoms!


 Comment Written 01-Jul-2019



reply by the author on 01-Jul-2019
    What a nice review! Thank you, Janice.
Comment by
Gail Denham
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I do very much like the songs of our country - they make me want to stand up and clap or something. This poem points out the music our country applauds. I do wonder why you used a hyphen in GOD? Is there a message there? Just curious.
Nice poem


 Comment Written 01-Jul-2019



reply by the author on 01-Jul-2019
    I'm an Orthodox Jew. We don't write out that word in full.

    Thank you for the lovely review.

reply by Gail Denham on 01-Jul-2019
    Oh I did not know that - do you substitute the word Yahweh in place of God? I have two friends who are half-Jewish - I'm always learning.

reply by the author on 01-Jul-2019
    No, I never do that.

    What is half-Jewish?

reply by Gail Denham on 01-Jul-2019
    Not sure if that's how it's said, but two of my good friends had mothers who were Jewish. One of them especially follows many of the customs. I know that's not orthodox, but I do learn from them.

reply by the author on 01-Jul-2019
    Oh, I see what you're saying. So only their moms were Jewish. Actually, that makes the children Jewish. The mother bestows the religion, the father the lineage. (like German, French, etc.) So your friends are fully Jewish.

reply by Gail Denham on 02-Jul-2019
    Oh I see - and yes, I remember that from my Bible reading about the mothers bestowing the religion.
    One friend, who is studying Ruth and Naomi brought up some fascinating facts at our little writers group. The friend is a widow so that story means a lot to her.
    . At any rate, as a Christian and believing God means what He said - I fully support the Jewish people.

reply by the author on 02-Jul-2019
    Thanks.
Comment by
pome lover
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Katharine Folkes
 
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very good remembrance for Independence Day
nice listings of our country's songs
question: why no "O "in God?
neat picture accompanying your poem of the fife, drum and bugle corps.
good luck.
pome lover


 Comment Written 30-Jun-2019



reply by the author on 30-Jun-2019
    I'm an Orthodox Jew. We don't ever write that word out in its full form.

reply by pome lover on 30-Jun-2019
    thanks. I wasn't aware of that.

reply by the author on 30-Jun-2019
    My pleasure.
Comment by
Ogden
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This is a worthy entry to the "Four for the Fourth" poetry contest, a good job of stacking 5-7-5 stanzas, comprising a meaningful poem.
Good luck in the voting!
Don


 Comment Written 29-Jun-2019



reply by the author on 29-Jun-2019
    Thank you, Don.

reply by Ogden on 29-Jun-2019
    You're very welcome.
    Don
Comment by
Mystic Angel 7777
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This meets the contest requirements beautifully with the strong theme of Independence Day running though each of the four stanzas constructed in the appropriate line and syllable count. Using the popular tunes for the day was a clever approach. You have a small typo: "G-d Bless America," I assumed this should be 'God'. Good luck in the voting and thank you very much for sharing it.


 Comment Written 29-Jun-2019



reply by the author on 29-Jun-2019
    It's not a typo. I'm an Orthodox Jew, and that is how we write that word.

reply by Mystic Angel 7777 on 29-Jun-2019
    Oh, I didn't know. My sincere apologies if I offended you.

reply by the author on 29-Jun-2019
    Oh gosh, no. It's not like you're born with this knowledge! There was no ill-intent on your part; you had my back and were trying to help me. I appreciate that very much.
Comment by
LisaMay
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  Rank:  10
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  Rank:  1
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  Rank:  16
 

#1 Ranked Author!

#10 Ranked Poet
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Your poem is a successful transition from the past to the present, linked by music: the battle hymns to urge on the troops fighting and hoping for freedom, through to the familiar songs proud and patriotic Americans sing to show their gratitude that freedom is the system under which they live.

There may be a difference in styles between USA and English punctuation, but I would put the quote marks for the titles of songs inside the commas and full stops (as shown below), where you have them outside. If it was speech, then yes, they would be on the outside.

"Star Spangled Banner",
"G-d Bless America", and
"This Is My Country".


 Comment Written 29-Jun-2019



reply by the author on 29-Jun-2019
    Thanks, LisaMay. xo
Comment by
Josh Walters
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I love it. When I think of our independence I think mostly of those who fought to free us from British rule. Everyone who has served in our military has protected our freedom its just good to remember how this country stared. Good luck in the competition.


 Comment Written 28-Jun-2019



reply by the author on 28-Jun-2019
    Thanks, Josh.
Comment by
2019 Poet of the Year
Dolly'sPoems
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  Rank:  2
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 Rank:  1
 

#2 Ranked Poet

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I heard the music coming from your words here, a great tribute to your country and I wish you luck with the contest, best wishes . . . . . love Dolly x


 Comment Written 28-Jun-2019



reply by the author on 28-Jun-2019
    This makes me so happy to read, Dolly. Thank you for a most validating review!
Comment by
Teri7
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  Rank:  19
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  Rank:  16
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 Rank:  13
 
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This is a very well written 5-7-5 stacked Fourth of July poem you penned for the writing prompt. You used very good words and very lovely imagery from the art work. I enjoyed reading and reviewing this. Blessings, Teri


 Comment Written 28-Jun-2019



reply by the author on 28-Jun-2019
    Thanks very much, Teri.
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