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Reviews from
The Thieving Magpie


A Shakespearean Sonnet

  24 total reviews 
Comment by
duchessofdrumborg
An iron fist in a velvet glove
Sharpen your quill every day!
 
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  Rank:  91 (+2)
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  Rank:  99
 
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"The Thieving Magpie", is an extremely well-written and delightfully descriptive piece. To me, this is a six, but unfortunately I never have enough of them. Penned with craft and well-honed skill, this talented poet's work was a delight to both read and review. I look forward to seeing your next post.


 Comment Written 19-Nov-2019



reply by the author on 19-Nov-2019
    Many thanks for this kind and complimentary review.
Comment by
Pearl Edwards
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What pretty eggs these are, are they magpie eggs? I love the comparison between the hatching of the eggs and the poet's words,-that hatch as rhymes to meet their metered fate.
A lovely sonnet, enjoyed it,
cheers,
valda


 Comment Written 19-Nov-2019



reply by the author on 19-Nov-2019
    Thank you so much for your kind review. Yes, those are indeed a magpie's eggs
Comment by
Mrs. KT
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Hello Jim,
What an interesting topic for a sonnet, and it is one that you handle very well. I fear that magpies are maligned due to folklore more than scientific fact...
I noted the employment of feminine endings: droppings, lodgings, = perfectly acceptable, but wondering if so in the contest.
Accordingly, in the second stanza, line one scans with "Go" being stressed because of the comma. Again, acceptable, but perhaps not for a contest that requires strict iambic pentameter. Easy fix:
Go seek, instead, fair nature's pearls - dried moss...

And as an aside, we don't have magpies in northern Michigan, but we have cowbirds. Nasty. They lay their eggs in the nests of other species, and their chicks are so large and ravenous when hatched, that the unsuspecting female mother robin or sparrow expends so much energy feeding the cowbirds, their babies often starve. So it goes.


Thank you for sharing.
diane


 Comment Written 18-Nov-2019



reply by the author on 19-Nov-2019
    Thank you for this comprehensive and complimentary review. I regard the use of metrical substitution as acceptable as did Shakespeare himself and the instructions clearly say ,like Shakespeare wrote. Fanstory sometimes accepts these and sometimes doesn't if they ask me to change I won't as this is a site contest I have nothing to lose, except the contest and since I dont know if I would have won that doesn't count. I do thank you for your warning though as I understand why it is made.

    I am so pleased you appreciated what I wrote.

reply by Mrs. KT on 19-Nov-2019
    Good Morning, Jim,
    I know that Sonnets 99, 145, and 126 do not conform to the strict requirements of what is now called the "Shakespearean Sonnet," and it is always the poet's discretion to pen a poem as he/she sees fit. But I did think the comma after "Go," was unintentional...
    Take Care!
    diane

reply by the author on 19-Nov-2019
    Thanks for bringing that comma to my attention. I went and had another look. Effectively it creates a spondee of the first foot of that line, as a metrical substitution, another Shakespearean technique. One could, I think, have that line read with or without the comma, but I think I'll leave it in on this occasion. The integrity of the poem is more important to me than the result of the contest, But I really do appreciate your concern and thank you for it.

reply by Mrs. KT on 19-Nov-2019
    My pleasure, Jim.

    diane
Comment by
2018 Poet of the Year
Gloria ....
2014 - #365 Poet of the Year
2014 - #56 Author of the Year
 
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  Rank:  26
 
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And what a fine sonnet this is, friend Jim. Your metrical substitutions work well in delivering the urgency of the birds feeding the wee ones. I've always though they were a little over-anxious in fear of missing a meal.

Perfectly to form and the only thing I wonder is if the Contest Committee with DQ because of the feminine endings? An easy remedy nonetheless.

Superb write filled with strong verbs and nouns and I wish you much luck in the contest.

Gloria


 Comment Written 18-Nov-2019



reply by the author on 19-Nov-2019
    Thanks for the fine review. If feminine endings were good enough for Shakespeare they are good ehnough for me and ought to be good enough for the committee. An argument I have made before at various times and in various places. The Instructions do say, 'like Shakespeare wrote!

    However. I appreciate your concern and thank you for your kindness in pointing out possible contention shead. Lol.

reply by Gloria .... on 19-Nov-2019
    I only have your best interests in mind. :)

reply by the author on 19-Nov-2019
    That is kind of you but...

    Quod scripsi scripsi. Lol.
Comment by
Gail Denham
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Right o -and I can't help thinking of the many people who accumulate weather and THINGS - as if to look good, brag about, - they do no good for anyone. for example a 10,000 sq. foot house - WHY? Share it with two or three families. you don't need three swimming pools.

my thoughts - from reading your poem. Good one.


 Comment Written 18-Nov-2019



reply by the author on 18-Nov-2019
    Didn't Jeffrey Epstein have a house like that? He shared it around too, not that it did him much good, or the girls either. But you are right this is about collecting the right things. Thanks for the sympathetic review.
Comment by
2014 Story Writer Of The Year
humpwhistle
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Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level
Shakespearean sonnets are not my bailiwick, Jim, but I like, and appreciate, all the fine wordplay. Especially the clever references to the poet's art. Internal rime to line your nest. And, hatch as rhymes to meet their metered fate.
Well done, Jim.

Best of luck.

Peace, Lee


 Comment Written 18-Nov-2019



reply by the author on 18-Nov-2019
    thank you for this lovely six star review. I am honoured.

reply by humpwhistle on 18-Nov-2019
    Sublimely deserved.
Comment by
Michael McCottry Bell Jr
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Dont know why you're allowed in the Sonnet poetry contest if you are on the committee to grade and judge the contest... but this is a well writ sonnet. With some nice images. Good luck



Michael


 Comment Written 18-Nov-2019



reply by the author on 18-Nov-2019
    And I don't know what makes you believe I am on that committee but, regardless of that, I think you will find that committee members must absent themselves from any participation in the judgement of contests in which they have work entered.

    Many thanks for reviewing this sonnet.
Comment by
lyenochka
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It's a beautiful nature sonnet with some humor but I'm not sure what the magpie stole - as it doesn't seem evident in the picture. I do know the crows will steal shiny things. And some birds where the male has to impress the female with the nest, will use all kinds of human junk. My favorite part is the meta-poem lines:
"Your sapphires, laid here, speckled brown, await
their incubation, like a poet's words,
that hatch as rhymes to meet their metered fate."


 Comment Written 17-Nov-2019



reply by the author on 18-Nov-2019
    He probable didn't steal anything but just has a bad press. Lol. Thanks for reviewin, and so pleased you consider it beautiful.
Comment by
Sallyo
Level 3 Pro
I am Australian.
Therefore, I write like an Australian.
 
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And I expect the birds will toss their heads
And sneer to hear your well-advising words
They might suggest you have your fancy fed
By droppings which they'll coarsely term as t.... (um).
Very clever and accomplished and wicked.


 Comment Written 17-Nov-2019



reply by the author on 18-Nov-2019
    And so is that stanza in review. Many thanks for that.
Comment by
Dorothy Farrell
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Hello Jim, this is a well written, good sonnet in true sonnet form. Very down to earth with good advice 'Their sparkle soon diminished by your droppings,'. LOL! Good turn in the third stanza and I very much like the final couplet. An all round good sonnet a step away from the usual romantic kind, which makes a change. Nice display - good luck in the contest. Regards Dorothy


 Comment Written 17-Nov-2019



reply by the author on 17-Nov-2019
    Thank you for the complimentary review. Was the four star grading a mistake? You do not give any reasons for it.

reply by Dorothy Farrell on 17-Nov-2019
    OMG! So sorry Jim, I often make this mistake. A four certainly was not intended. I have upgraded. Regards Dorothy

reply by the author on 17-Nov-2019
    I had a feeling that is what you would say. I have done it myself. Thanks for the upgrade.
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