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Reviews from
Persnickety


A love story.

  32 total reviews 
Comment by
pome lover
Premier Author
Katharine Folkes
 
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that is indeed a winner! Terrific and believable dialogue, cleverly written.
I love their "fiestyness" and amicable back and forth stand-offishness, if that makes sense.
Congratulations on your well deserved awards. Great writing.
pome lover


 Comment Written 09-Aug-2019



reply by the author on 10-Aug-2019
    Thanks so much, pome lover. Sometimes the characters take over, and all I do is take dictation. So glad you enjoyed. Peace, Lee
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A seven star rating from the Contest Committee for the recognition this post has received from the FanStory community. While this was not a Contest Committee decision, the committee recognizes this achievement with a seven star review.


 Comment Written 09-Aug-2019



reply by the author on 10-Aug-2019
    Thank you so much. Lee
Comment by
2019 Script Writer of the Year
Bill Schott
 
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#3 Ranked Script Writer
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level
What a terrific conversation to listen in on. These two characters come to life for the reader as they go back and forth with a level of banter that ensures us they are in love, at some level.


 Comment Written 04-Aug-2019



reply by the author on 05-Aug-2019
    Thanks you, Bill. I love that you said, 'listen in on.' I'm an unreformed eavesdropper. I guess that's why I'm so fond of dialogue. Thanks so much for the review. Peace, Lee
Comment by
w.j.debi
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This is a well written interchange between two old friends. Looks like it could turn into something more if given a chance. They do seem to like each other and they like teasing each other.
Excellent dialogue. I liked you suggestion at the beginning. Too bad those two actors are not around to play the scene.



 Comment Written 03-Aug-2019



reply by the author on 05-Aug-2019
    Thanks so much. I'm delighted you enjoyed. Peace, Lee
Comment by
john mallahan
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Ah the beauty. The remembrances. You tie it all nicely together, as usual. Am struck again by your use of dialogue. These people KNOW what they're sayin. Time to observe, vs. time spent in all the "daily". Have started writing down all that. Don't know if you are a fan of David Sedaris, but he is a master of that--the daily that is. Something, don't think any of us can ever take for granted!












 Comment Written 02-Aug-2019



reply by the author on 05-Aug-2019
    Thank you, John. Yes, I love Sedaris's take on the things we sometimes overlook. I enjoy hearing people speak. That's why I rely so heavily on dialogue. So glad you enjoyed. Peace, Lee
Comment by
Roxanna Andrews
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This is a very fun read. I can see Stewart and Hepburn having this conversation about persnickety observations. =} I didn't see anything I thought was an error and thought it well done. Rox


 Comment Written 17-Jul-2019



reply by the author on 21-Jul-2019
    Thank you, Rox. I'm glad you enjoyed. Peace, Lee
Comment by
kiwisteveh
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Yeah, I can hear the voices, Not sure it's Jimmy and Katherine, but they're pretty clear in my head.

Yet another genre that you are the master of - the persnickety banter between two people who know each other well who brighten up daily life with mutual sarcasm, insults and the occasional downright rudeness. I can report that my dearly beloved is only a part-time participant in this little game, so my own life is spiced up by never knowing for sure whether she will respond in kind or react violently.

The pairing up of old friends after their mutual partners die gives this a nice twist. Again I can relate - My Mum did just that. She even asked my permission first which was nice. The last 15 years of her life were very happy, although of course she had to go through the loss of a second husband.

Anyway there is lots to like here - plenty of humour and crackle in the repartee and a nugget or two of your home-spun philosophising - plus of course the two lovable characters - even if they are both a little persnickety!

Steve


 Comment Written 17-Jul-2019



reply by the author on 21-Jul-2019
    Thank you, Steve. Funny how a single word can sometimes spark a story. While writing this, I realized 'persnickety' is an apt description for many of my characters. I guess one has to be a bit prickly to participate in my brand of repartee. That says a lot about me, I suppose.

    Thanks for your thoughtful review. Peace, Lee
Comment by
Earl Corp
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I like that concept of before and afters. When i was in the Army it was "Back in," as in back in Bragg or Back in Germany. Another interesting way I've hear it the dash. The dash between your birth and death representing what occurred in your life. Very entertaining story.


 Comment Written 16-Jul-2019



reply by the author on 21-Jul-2019
    Thank you, Earl. Yes, I think we tab our lives according to places or events that define our personal 'eras'. I like the dash idea. I once heard 'Our lives are but winks between ice ages'. Can't remember who said it. Thanks again, Earl. Peace, Lee
Comment by
LisaMay
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#1 Ranked Author!

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I enjoyed your story immensely, with its natural dialogue containing humour, familiarity, rebuke, life philosophy, and that memorable word persnickety. I liked how it was circular, with Sam having the hots for her wanting a kiss at 12 then again in later years thinking he'd like a kiss. But will he be a doer?


 Comment Written 16-Jul-2019



reply by the author on 21-Jul-2019
    Thanks, LisaMay. I like your circular comment. It's always neat to detect patterns in our lives. Glad you enjoyed. Peace, Lee

reply by LisaMay on 21-Jul-2019
    The patterns of the universe are everywhere... I use them a lot in my art, especially plant-based motifs, so I seem to have an eye for noticing pattern... there's even patterns apparent in chaos that can impose order (we're not so good at it as humans!)

reply by the author on 21-Jul-2019
    Well, I'm pretty good at chaos. You should see my desk. L

reply by LisaMay on 21-Jul-2019
    Sounds like mine. In fact, I need 2.
Comment by
Joy Graham
I think in ink
Write on!
 
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This is a fun conversation on their date. I know Jimmy Stewart's voice, and Katherine Hepburn's voice, but didn't hear them while reading. Maybe if I go back and read it again?

I described a co-worker as persnickey once and my husband challenged me to define it. I couldn't quite define it back then. I love the word.

Joy xx


 Comment Written 16-Jul-2019



reply by the author on 21-Jul-2019
    Thanks so much, Joy. I always hope my readers will 'hear' my characters. Whose voice doesn't really matter. I'll beti if you ask ten people to define persnickety, you'd get ten different answers that are roughly the same. Thanks again. Peace, Lee
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