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Reviews from
Preserving Connections


One man's gift for memories

  47 total reviews 
Comment by
JudyE
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  Rank:  15
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Review Stars
  Rank:  102
 
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level
How special was that night? I would have had tears in my eyes too. I wonder was the speaker aware of the magic he was weaving on that night? And you've portrayed the emotion of the evening so well. Who can resist being made to feel as if they really matter?


 Comment Written 17-Jul-2019


Comment by
WalkerMan
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  Rank:  228
 
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level
Thank you for telling us how the thirty-fifth reunion of your husband's high school class of 1971 turned into a heartwarming and memorable event for all in attendance, as the old History teacher entertained far more effectively than the "class clown" likely would have. It is a nice coincidence that the event occurred in exactly the hundredth year after the town's renaming. Though I lived in other nearby suburbs for over three decades and had been to East Rochester many times for a variety of reasons, I never knew its interesting origin.


 Comment Written 17-Jul-2019



reply by the author on 17-Jul-2019
    Thanks, Mike; I appreciate your lovely review, as well as the catch you made (ancestor/descendants). I appreciate your having my back. xo

reply by WalkerMan on 17-Jul-2019
    You are most welcome, Rachelle. I have just read your other reviews, and was pleased to see that old History teacher is still as sharp as ever. Very few people have that skill; and, indeed, at least part of it is deeply caring.

    I see the correction, and will remove my comment about it. However, I think there is now an unnecessary line break between "are" and "even" in that sentence. -- Mike

reply by the author on 17-Jul-2019
    I don't know why it's doing that when it's not in Edit mode, so I don't know how to change it. Do you?

reply by WalkerMan on 17-Jul-2019
    Because it is invisible, all you can do is go back into the Editor to remove everything from "are" through "even" and then retype them as "are even" (with just one space in between). Then save it and view it again to be sure it got fixed properly.
Comment by
Jerome Goldberg
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  Rank:  290
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  Rank:  135
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Excellent
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Bravo - a well written, absorbing and heart warming story. My wife grew up in Herkimer, about 100 miles East on the Thruway. When we visit, I was always enchanted by the closeness of the small town. Unfortunately, as the years have gone by, the town has changed and there are not many of the old gang left.


 Comment Written 16-Jul-2019



reply by the author on 16-Jul-2019
    Yes, I know Herkimer. It's got to be hard to see such a difference when you visit. I'd hate that if it happened to ER.

    Thanks for the nice review, Jerry. xo

reply by Jerome Goldberg on 17-Jul-2019
    Sad! Very sad!
Comment by
DonandVicki
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A very touching moment , I can only imagine the feeling of community that was in the atmosphere during that evening. My graduation class consisted of 50, 25 boys and 25 girls, totally by chance.


 Comment Written 16-Jul-2019



reply by the author on 16-Jul-2019
    Oh, WOW!! That's amazing! 50/50 split!

    And you're so right; the feeling of community was really special that night.

    Thanks for this very nice review. xo
Comment by
C. Gale Burnett
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C. Gale Burnett
 
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  Rank:  212
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Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level
Rachelle, this story gave me goosebumps too. You are a great storyteller.

-I totally enjoyed the background information and history (past and present) you gave about East Rochester.

-You made me feel so sorry for the class comedian (the reunion emcee) ... poor guy (LOL).

-My favorite part? 'We were ensconced in the beauty and sanctity of the gift this teacher was bestowing, the gift that said, "You were special here. I paid attention to your life. You mattered to me, and you were an important part of this town."

-Through your skilled writing, I felt I could feel what you were feeling at your husband's reunion.

-your title and chosen artwork were perfection

This is an excellent contest entry!



 Comment Written 16-Jul-2019



reply by the author on 16-Jul-2019
    Wow! What a wonderful, validating review, Gale! Thank you for such helpful, insightful feedback.

reply by C. Gale Burnett on 16-Jul-2019
    My pleasure :)
Comment by
LisaMay
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  Rank:  12
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  Rank:  1
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Review Stars
  Rank:  26
 

#1 Ranked Author!
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level
I love this story... its magic lies in small details of familiarity and then the huge detail of that amazing teacher (an elderly one at that, so what a prodigious recall of memory), imparting a lesson in the importance of noticing and 'giving a shit'. That's what has the biggest impact on people's lives: that they matter enough to be noticed, and you have certainly made this story hang very well off that golden moment at the reunion. (What did he say about Bobby?)

I have noted quite a few items below. Please don't be put off by that. The story is wonderfully deserving of my 6.

This sounded odd to me: 'perfect moments of life'... I would say 'perfect moments in life'.

In this sentence: 'No, I discovered the night of the Reunion --comforting.' perhaps put 'it's' in front of 'comforting'. Then it reads as No, it's comforting, which links better across the bit in the middle.

Perhaps it is unnecessary to have quote marks around the town names here: '...change the name of their town from "Despatch" to "East Rochester". I find the quote marks intrusive.

Change of punctuation suggestion (put comma after 'were' instead of 'residents'):
'Many of the residents were, in fact, related to each other.'

Add comma after 'myself' as the sentence is very long:
'...I've now taken up residence myself, is that to this day,...'

This is superb: 'Merlin of Memories completed his spell'

Change location of comma to inside the quote mark (it would be outside if it was in speech): "down the line",

There are a lot of items in quote marks (such as planned community, down the line etc.) To differentiate speech and these items, I suggest putting them in single quotes rather than double ones.


 Comment Written 16-Jul-2019



reply by the author on 16-Jul-2019
    Okay, thanks.
Comment by
Gunner Lil
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Excellent
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Great story.
Very good detail and I know you did a lot of
research.
The good days of being able to walk to school
and even down-town.
I would only change one thing- Paragraph 6 (?)
that starts "As you can--- delete second, Many of
the residents are related....

Great job- easy read.
Thank you!


 Comment Written 16-Jul-2019



reply by the author on 16-Jul-2019
    Thanks very much for this, Gunner. I appreciate the feedback. xo
Comment by
Jeffrey L. Michaux
Jeff Michaux
Williamsburg
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  30
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Review Stars
  Rank:  44
 
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level
This is amazing and is a witness to everyone knowing everyone else's business in a small town in a good way. What an awesome surprise the history teacher was. He is the prime example of a Superman or Superwoman that's a teacher. They not only are an amazing teacher, but, they know the students on a personal level. This is vintage Gold and I can see how you being an educator yourself was touched, and, everyone present was forever touched at this event. Fortunately, he saved the day because the other fellow that was suppose to be the MC got the dates wrong. How in the world could he get that wrong? I really enjoyed this awesome adventure at your husband's school reunion that you've shared with us. Well done!


 Comment Written 16-Jul-2019



reply by the author on 16-Jul-2019
    I like your take on it, Jeffrey --the good side of everyone knowing everyone else's business. Hahaha! That's great.

    You're right about all of us being touched by what we experienced that night. Immensely special. (And we were ALL mystified about his having the wrong date!! Just CRAZY!) [But we were grateful!]

    Thanks for the terrific review. xo
Comment by
Mark Valentine
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  Rank:  133
Author Rating For Short Works
  Rank:  13
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Review Stars
  Rank:  335
 
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level
I love stories like this that highlight the sanctity of ordinary moments. And your narration is (this is a compliment, trust me) beautifully ordinary at the beginning, unpretentious, relating in a country-storyteller's way simple facts about the town and the night and then crescendoing to this sublime summation:"You were special here. I paid attention to your life. You mattered to me, and you were an important part of this town."

Who could want for more? You drill down to the kernel of important and oh-so inspiring truth from that night.

Rockwellesque.


 Comment Written 16-Jul-2019



reply by the author on 16-Jul-2019
    Your reviews have this same impact on me: they always get exactly, exactly what I'm trying to get across. Thank you for that. I absolutely love this review. Thank you. xo
Comment by
Robert Zimmerman
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Poet Rating
  Rank:  37
Author Rating For Short Works
  Rank:  9
Author Rating For Novels
 
Review Stars
  Rank:  39
 

#9 Ranked Author
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level
Hi Rachelle. You really are a masterful story teller. You are able to take anecdotal events and comments and turn them into real stories. I read the story over multiple times because I enjoyed it. I also grew up in a town nearly exactly like the one described. You deserve 6 stars for the story so you got them.


 Comment Written 16-Jul-2019



reply by the author on 16-Jul-2019
    I really love your reviews, Robert, because they're so well-considered and understanding. Every time I read one, I smile and say, "He gets me." (While I find that comforting, that comment should probably SCARE you!!) Anyway, thank you for yet another very encouraging and wonderful review. I appreciate it immensely. xo

reply by Robert Zimmerman on 16-Jul-2019
    I was told by a mentor of mine that the strength of my writing is the economy of words. Since he has several published novels I take for granted he knows what that means. I believe that is why I like your writing. You don't use the same old words all the time to describe similar circumstances. There are a lot of words in your verbal bank account.

reply by the author on 16-Jul-2019
    Not so much in my Member Dollars account right now, though...

    Thanks for this terrific compliment. xo

reply by Robert Zimmerman on 16-Jul-2019
    I struggle with member dollars. That's one of the reasons I don't post more than I do. I will not review stuff I read that I don't like. It puts a strain on my member dollar budget.

reply by the author on 16-Jul-2019
    Same here. I don't review anywhere near as much as I read.
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