Contact Us | En español    
         Join today or login

Status

New Here?
Sign Up
Fast! Three Questions.

Already a member?
Login

Contests

Lune Poetry Contest
Deadline: In 2 Days

True Story Flash
Deadline: In 6 Days

5-7-5 Poetry Contest
Deadline: Jun 8th

Minute
Deadline: Jun 14th

Share Your Story
Deadline: Jun 16th


Writing Classes

0 classes available. Click here locate a class and to learn more.

Rank

Poet: None
Author: None
Novel: None
Reviewer:None
Votes: None






Reviews from
Partial Eclipse of the Moon,


A Villanelle for 16th July 2019

  27 total reviews 
Comment by
phill doran
.
.
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  55
Author Rating For Short Works
  Rank:  21
Review Stars
  Rank:  229
 
phill doran Recommends:
dreamtime
the night, watch...
Pays:10 points
10 member cents

 
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level
Hello Jim
I was wondering if my review could push you up the charts!
Some clever stuff here: ember - amber... I wish I'd thought of that (to which he replies: "you will phill, you will...")
A lovely 'palette' of words - simple yet atmospheric.
I wish you well with your continued writing, which I always find to be professional and thoughtful.
Cheers
phill


 Comment Written 25-Dec-2019



reply by the author on 26-Dec-2019
    Thank you for this six starvreview when it is way out of the money. That was a kind thought. My poetic rankings this year are way down since most of my writing has been in prose, developing my novel.
Comment by
Susanjohn
Level 2 Pro
Premier Author
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  64
Author Rating For Short Works
 
Author Rating For Novels
 
Review Stars
  Rank:  243
 
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level
A Villanelle!!! Love it!...and your theme choice too. Quite beautifully illustrated, flawless in flow and just a lovely read. How I enjoy the challege of this form.


 Comment Written 30-Aug-2019



reply by the author on 30-Aug-2019
    Thank you so much for reviewing this awarding it it six stars

reply by Susanjohn on 30-Aug-2019
    You're welcome :)
Comment by
Sarkems
Level 1 Pro
 
Poet Rating
 
Author Rating For Short Works
  Rank:  78
Author Rating For Novels
 
Review Stars
  Rank:  189
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
Well, this is a feast of imagery. I particularly love 'silver to cognac' and 'darkness took a bite'. You certainly have a way with words. I know it's cliched to say it, but you paint a picture in the reader's mind beautifully. I say nothing of the form, I've no doubt it is mastered here, but my brain switches off at the science of poetry, which is why I don't write it myself. But I admire those that do.


 Comment Written 23-Jul-2019



reply by the author on 23-Jul-2019
    This is a truly lovely and so honest review. Thank you so much.
Comment by
Pam (respa)
Premier Author
Premier Reader
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  23
Author Rating For Short Works
  Rank:  16
Review Stars
  Rank:  28
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
-Very nice image
and presentation.
-Notes are appreciated.
-You have written a very
good poem about the partial eclipse.
-It flows well with good imagery
and repeating lines.
-I like the image of
"copper colored moon."
-Thanks for sharing.


 Comment Written 22-Jul-2019



reply by the author on 23-Jul-2019
    Many thanks for reading and reviewing this.

reply by Pam (respa) on 23-Jul-2019
    You are welcome.
Comment by
2014 Story Writer Of The Year
humpwhistle
Level 9 Pro
Premier Author
Premier Reader
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  58
Author Rating For Short Works
  Rank:  3
Author Rating For Novels
 
Script Rating
 
Review Stars
  Rank:  73
 

#3 Ranked Author
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level
Forgive me, Jim, for my eyes glazed over during your explanation of a villanelle. Alas, I'm writer of simple prose, bound by precious few restrictions.

Your poem moves me. While I have a vague appreciation for its internal complexity, I'm engrossed by the insomniac and his quest to record something unobserved by sleepy eyes.

I love the recurring insomniac, almanac, and the VSOP cognac.

This is truly special, Jim--even if I don't understand all shades.

Peace, Lee


 Comment Written 22-Jul-2019



reply by the author on 22-Jul-2019
    What with your baseball and my villanelle I think we have a tomahto/tomayto, potahto/potayto situation here. Nevertheless I won't be calling the whole thing off as I find I can penetrate the language and reach the humour that lies belong.

    And as long as you keep pitching those six stars I'll be hitting home runs for your team. Many thanks.
Comment by
Colin Lowley
Premier Author
Premier Reader
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  163
Author Rating For Short Works
 
Author Rating For Novels
 
Review Stars
  Rank:  577
 
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level
Hi Jim , just loved this one and a fine picture to use. Top marks for timing , only because the insomniac has been me overnight did not see the moon though .cheers colin


 Comment Written 22-Jul-2019



reply by the author on 22-Jul-2019
    The eclipse here was quite early on in the evening this time at about 10.30 pm. Many thanks for reviewing and for the six stars..
Comment by
duchessofdrumborg
An iron fist in a velvet glove
Sharpen your quill every day!
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  84
Author Rating For Short Works
 
Author Rating For Novels
 
Review Stars
  Rank:  120
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
"Partial Eclipse of the Moon, is an extremely well-written and delightfully descriptive piece. This talented poet's work was a pleasure to both read and review. You KEEP WRITING and I'll KEEP READING. I look forward to seeing your next post.


 Comment Written 22-Jul-2019



reply by the author on 22-Jul-2019
    I am so pleased you enjoyed this. Thank you for reading and reviewing.
Comment by
Spangle
Premier Author
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  77
Author Rating For Short Works
 
Author Rating For Novels
 
Review Stars
  Rank:  63
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
I love poetry about the moon and this one does not disappoint. It's cleverly written with an attractive presentation. Your notes are very informative. I think it's really a beautiful posting.


 Comment Written 21-Jul-2019



reply by the author on 22-Jul-2019
    Perhaps the intended revisitation to the moon will provide more opportunities for poetry. Thank you so much for reviewing.

reply by Spangle on 22-Jul-2019
    You're very welcome!
Comment by
2018 Poet of the Year
Gloria ....
2014 - #365 Poet of the Year
2014 - #56 Author of the Year
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  15
Author Rating For Short Works
 
Author Rating For Novels
 
Script Rating
 
Review Stars
  Rank:  30
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
What a lovely presentation with this one, Jim. So tastefully done and as you've eclipsed your text similar to the eclipse of the moon.

of course your iambic metre and rhymes make for a very smooth read.

Love the Villanelle. :)

Gloria


 Comment Written 21-Jul-2019



reply by the author on 22-Jul-2019
    Many thanks for this encouraging review i am pleased you enjoyed this villanelle.
Comment by
catch22
Level 7 Pro
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  128 (+20)
Author Rating For Short Works
 
Review Stars
  Rank:  270
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
Hello Pantygynt, I also love villanelles so I appreciate how difficult this form is to do well. I liked the premise of the poem, although the final quatrain reads awkwardly, due to the first line being a sentence fragment. I also had trouble with the punctuation choice in this quatrain. I would have opted for em-dash to emphasize your refrain in the ending, but that's really a stylistic choice. I love the theme and the iambic meter read smoothly to my ear. Good use of multi-syllabic words as well. Best with the class.


 Comment Written 21-Jul-2019



reply by the author on 22-Jul-2019
    Many thanks for this review. I will have my class discuss that final quatrain when we next mee. Another reviewer also picked out the same problem. Many thanks for your diligence.
  -1-  2 3  Next Page 


Market your book.
Advertising options.
Family Portraits
The poem is about family lineage, privilege, and rights.


Share or Bookmark
  Contact Us | En español | Advertise With Us

© 2015 FanStory.com, Inc. All Rights Reserved. Terms under which this service is provided to you. Privacy