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Reviews from
Long Ago and Far Away


remembering July 20, 1969

  8 total reviews 
Comment by
2019 Poet of the Year
Dolly'sPoems
Premier Author
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  Rank:  2
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 Rank:  2
 

#2 Ranked Poet

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I enjoyed the warm sentiments and appreciation here of the first moon landing. Your poem flows like a dream and I loved your rhymes and you win my vote for this one, love Dolly x


 Comment Written 25-Jul-2019



reply by the author on 25-Jul-2019
    Thanks so much Dolly
Comment by
J.D. Bliek
 
 
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The use of alliteration makes the poem flow very well. That combined with the rhyme scheme makes the poem feel simplistically drawn and easy to read. The use of first person used at the beginning of the poem and repeated at the end allowed for the poem to be anecdotal without first person narration getting in the way of the poem's power and flow. Certain lines of the poem do not seem to contribute much to the poem, however. Specifically, the second and third line which represents the time and world lived in. But then the poem continues onto the landing on the moon and the "giant leap" without pay off for the second and third line. Referring to the scene as a "glimpse of the divine" seems to mean that the scene would be eye-catching and would therefor be contradictory of the second and third line. That would be very poetic; however, there is never a connection between the chaos in our world to the divine of the moment. There could be a moment or word that says that the chaos would take a break for this divine moment. Instead, lines two and three feel like filler for the scene's introduction.

4/5 a well written poem of the moon landing.


 Comment Written 22-Jul-2019



reply by the author on 22-Jul-2019
    Thanks so much for taking the time to comment so thoroughly. I see your point - I think the constraints of the form ( only 49 syllable) required me to leave out some language and hope that the reader would make the connection - the point I was trying to make was how, in a tumultuous time, for a brief moment anyway, the moon landing was able to unite people around something positive and aspirational. I probably took too much for granted - thanks for your perspective.
Comment by
Pam (respa)
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  Rank:  14
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  Rank:  29
 
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-Good image and
nice presentation,
as well as a good topic.
-The format is very good.
-The poem is very good
and flows very well with
effective meter and rhyme.
-I like how you tell as story
as you begin the first line.
-You also make very good
points about that time in history.
-"The giant leap was divine"
and showed what was possible.
-Let's hope that the spirit of
that will prevail in some form.
-A very good entry; good luck.


 Comment Written 22-Jul-2019



reply by the author on 23-Jul-2019
    Thanks, Pam. I've been reliving that time watching all of the 50th anniversary programming that has been on TV this week.

reply by Pam (respa) on 23-Jul-2019
    You are very welcome. Your poem reflected a keen interest in that historic flight.
Comment by
LisaMay
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  Rank:  17
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  Rank:  1
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  Rank:  74
 

#1 Ranked Author!
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Your poem is very skilfully done, fitting the constrains of the contest admirably, while also being topical and posing something for the reader to think about. I like it a lot and think it has 'winner' written all over it.


 Comment Written 22-Jul-2019



reply by the author on 23-Jul-2019
    Thanks, Lisa. I've been reliving that time watching all of the 50th anniversary programming that has been on TV this week.

reply by LisaMay on 23-Jul-2019
    Me too... I was 16, in my last year of high school. It meant we got a day off school to go home and watch TV.
Comment by
Jannypan (Jan)
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  Rank:  7 (+1)
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  Rank:  14
 

#7 Ranked Poet
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I enjoyed reading your contest entry, Mystery Author. Great job on the style. All lines are correct in syllable count and rhyme scheme. Your picture is a great pairing with your well-chosen words. Thanks for sharing and best wishes. Jan


 Comment Written 22-Jul-2019



reply by the author on 23-Jul-2019
    Thanks, Jan. Much appreciated.
Comment by
victor 66
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  Rank:  222
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  Rank:  268
 
Excellent
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Yes, I too remember that day in July, in 1969. Looking up at the sky and the moon, I thought I could actually see those astronauts. I'm not so concerned about where we began, i'm a little more concerned about where we will end. You have here a nice short poem to the point. Best wishes.


 Comment Written 22-Jul-2019



reply by the author on 23-Jul-2019
    Thanks - it's been neat watching it all again this week as we celebrate the 50th anniversary.

reply by victor 66 on 25-Jul-2019
    You're welcome. Be here to go by. What's interesting, is how fast the years go by. July 1969 shouldn't be 50 years ago but it is. I need to learn to live with that.
Comment by
Brenda Henderson
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  Rank:  85
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  Rank:  226
 
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Good question. Thought provoking poem. It's a wonderful thing to actually witness history and what an eloquently beautiful way to share the experience with future generations. Love the picture choice reflective of childhood and the past. Good job!


 Comment Written 22-Jul-2019



reply by the author on 23-Jul-2019
    Thanks - it was a very big deal for us kids at the time.

reply by Brenda Henderson on 23-Jul-2019
    I remember it too. It seems I was sitting in the middle of my parents bed watching it on television!
Comment by
Y. M. Roger
FantasyGirl
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  3
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  Rank:  3
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  Rank:  1
 

#3 Ranked Author

#3 Ranked Poet

#1 Ranked Reviewer!
Excellent
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Such a wonderfully phrased and alliterated account of that momentous moment in our history - lol! ;) ;) Seriously, a great offering for this contest -- best of luck at the polls! ;)


 Comment Written 22-Jul-2019



reply by the author on 23-Jul-2019
    Thanks so much for the uplifting review.
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