Contact Us | En español    
         Join today or login

Status

New Here?
Sign Up
Fast! Three Questions.

Already a member?
Login

Contests

Love Poem Poetry Contest
Deadline: Tomorrow!

No Rules Poetry Contest
Deadline: In 5 Days

One Line Poem
Deadline: Oct 28th

Halloween Story
Deadline: Oct 31st

Halloween Poetry
Deadline: Oct 31st


Writing Classes

0 classes available. Click here locate a class and to learn more.

Rank

Poet: None
Author: None
Novel: None
Reviewer:None
Votes: None






Reviews from
The Piper


Viewing comments for Chapter 23 "The Piper, Part 23 "

Young Adult Fantasy

  15 total reviews 
Comment by
May 1
 
Review Stars
  Rank:  392
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
Yes, I agree a bath can be quite refreshing and invigorating. I love that we don't know if this part 'not today' was him saying it or the fife. It's strange to me that Piper is not more curious especially having in mind he doesn't trust the Fae completely. It's starting to sound like I was right all along. Lynx sounds fun.


 Comment Written 02-Feb-2020



reply by the author on 05-Feb-2020
    Hi May 1,
    I am glad you liked the ambiguity of the phrase, "Not today." That was on purpose so I am glad it worked. Thank you for the analysis of Piper and his curiosity, or lack of verbalizing it at least. Lynx is full of energy.
    Thanks again for a helpful review.
    Debi
Comment by
annh
 
 
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level
This is brilliant! So cohesive and authentic. I would not like to guess what your background is, but unlike much of what is written on this site, the surface of your writing can be scratched and there is substance beneath it. Music? Linguistics? I particularly like your referencing of Anglo-Saxon/Middle English/Germanic (?) lore/myth and language. Beautiful. Cheers, annh :)


 Comment Written 06-Aug-2019



reply by the author on 06-Aug-2019
    Hi annh,
    I never expect a review once my work is no longer listed, so what a delightful surprise I found when I opened FS today. Your comments are so generous and encouraging. It means so much to me to know you found depth beneath that surface.
    I do play a handful of instruments, and I love mythology so I am constantly studying it. There is so much out there learn.
    Thank you so much for the six stars, but even more for the comments. You really brightened my day!
    Debi
Comment by
WryWriter
 
Review Stars
 
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
This is an extremely well-written fantasy story. The characters come alive in dialogue and action. The paragraphs transition well and the internal plot holds reader attention. I enjoyed reading your work!

Is this a suggestion or a question? "Look, why don't you come with me now so we don't lose you, too?"

"I have a lot I need to tell you . . . My boy." (my boy)


 Comment Written 05-Aug-2019



reply by the author on 06-Aug-2019
    Your review was a delightful surprise this morning. Thank you for including some suggestions for improvement. I will change the punctuation. I meant to call attention to the word "my", but see your point. I have corrected it to be lower case and italicized it instead.

    Thank you for the encouraging comments and stating that you enjoyed reading the story. I appreciate your review.
Comment by
BeasPeas
Premier Author
Premier Reader
 
Poet Rating
 
Author Rating For Short Works
 
Author Rating For Novels
 
Review Stars
 
 
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level
Your writing is excellent, debi. Detail and scene setting are well described for your reader. Interesting dialogue. In this chapter Piper finally learns (will learn) of his true parentage. Marilyn


 Comment Written 29-Jul-2019



reply by the author on 29-Jul-2019
    Hi Marilyn,
    Thank you for the kind comments and analysis. I appreciate you dropping by. It looks like you've had quite a bit of excitement this year with your eyes and the birds in the back yard. I look forward to catching upon BOT.
    Debi

reply by BeasPeas on 30-Jul-2019
    Hi debi. You're welcome and thank you. :)
Comment by
juliaSjames
Premier Author
Premier Reader
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  92
Author Rating For Short Works
 
Author Rating For Novels
 
Review Stars
  Rank:  108
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
I'm a fan of fantasy and I'm really pleased to stumble across your work. It reads well as a stand alone piece. Characters come alive on the page. Piper seems young for his age. Maybe he's had a sheltered upbringing.

Excellent conclusion leaving the reader wanting more.

Blessings Julia


 Comment Written 29-Jul-2019



reply by the author on 29-Jul-2019
    Hi Julia,
    It's nice to meet you. Thank you for the kind comments about the writing.
    You are so right about Piper and his sheltered past. He has grown up in a privileged class at Castle Welf and has recently gone on the road with a new music master. He is a bit na´ve about everything that isn't music.
    Thank you for stopping by to read and review.
Comment by
Pam (respa)
Premier Author
Premier Reader
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  18
Author Rating For Short Works
  Rank:  38
Review Stars
  Rank:  26
 
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level
-My first reaction when I finished reading
this, Debi, was WOW! A great chapter,
and you haven't missed a note!
-The background helped a lot,
and leaves us wondering about Burkehart.
-The story flows from beginning to end.
-Things are very pleasant as Piper enjoys his
surroundings and examines the special fife.
-His grandfather seems to be communicating
with him, and that adds to the many existing mysteries.
-You build the suspense little by little,
by focusing on small, everyday things, except for Sheba.
But then, something starts changing.
-After many questions, Piper is trying to piece
together the answers, as is the reader.
-We figure that Redd-Leif is his father from
answers given, but then there is a diversion
from a group wanting to come into the camp.
-Obviously, Redd-Leif wasn't
quick enough before Lynx spoke.
-However, we also know that there are many
twists in this story-was he going to tell
Lynx that he wasn't his father, or maybe
he isn't Piper's father, either!
-I can't say enough good things about
this chapter; I loved it!





 Comment Written 28-Jul-2019



reply by the author on 28-Jul-2019
    Hi Pam,
    Thank you so much for such a delightful review. I am so pleased to hear you loved it.

    I appreciate all the support and encouragement you have given me from the first chapter on. After a year with no new chapters, it would be easy to think that no one would remember the story at all.

    I appreciate your analysis of this chapter. It helps me to know if I have communicated effectively. It appears you understood everything I wanted to get across. Whew!

    Thank you!

    Debi

reply by Pam (respa) on 29-Jul-2019
    You are very welcome and deserving of the stars and the review, Debi. I really enjoy this story, and it is a testament to your writing that I still remember it, appreciate it, and enjoy it!!
Comment by
giraffmang
Level 4 Pro
2018 2nd for short works
2017 Author of the year
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  178
Author Rating For Short Works
  Rank:  25
Author Rating For Novels
 
Script Rating
 
Review Stars
  Rank:  122
 
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level
Hi there,

I was very pleased to see this pop up on the lists. It's been too long. Hopefully the posts will be a bit more regular once again.

great continuation of the piece and nice revelations here.

The previously section works very well and brought everything back so well.
The characters are just how I remember them ao the consistency is there and the dialogue sounds real.

Great stuff
G


 Comment Written 28-Jul-2019



reply by the author on 28-Jul-2019
    Hi G,
    Thank you for the kind words and for letting me know the "previously section" was effective. It's been over a year since I posted and I was worried no one would remember the story at all.
    Thank you so much for the encouragement.

    Debi
Comment by
dejohnsrld (Debbie)
 
Review Stars
 
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
This is a very well written chapter of fantasy, my friend.It sounds like Piper has a lot more to learn. Even though I haven't followed the story, I found this interesting, my friend~Debbie


 Comment Written 28-Jul-2019



reply by the author on 28-Jul-2019
    Thank you for the great review, Debbie. I am glad you found the chapter interesting.
    Debi
Comment by
DonandVicki
Premier Author
Premier Reader
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  49
Author Rating For Short Works
 
Script Rating
 
Review Stars
  Rank:  438
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
A very compelling chapter in your story. I will have to go back and get caught up on the rest. You have a canny way of stopping the chapter keeping the reader wanting more.


 Comment Written 27-Jul-2019



reply by the author on 28-Jul-2019
    Thank you for your thoughts about the writing and your encouraging comments. I appreciate it.
    Debi
Comment by
rspoet
Premier Author
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  31 (+2)
Author Rating For Short Works
 
Review Stars
  Rank:  100
 
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level
Hello w.j.
A year seems but a day, must be some fae magic in the passage of time.
But, at last, the story of Piper continues, and very well at that...
for Piper is all elf!
He has the magic of the flute, but he appears to lack other elf traits
like speed, strength.
A wonderful chapter for your book with suspense and surprise.
The dialogue is spot on and there is still the story Redd-Leif that he never
seems to be able to tell.
You haven't missed a beat.
Well done
Robert




 Comment Written 27-Jul-2019



reply by the author on 27-Jul-2019
    Hi Robert,
    Thank you for the generous review. Yes, a year is a long time, but the story has never left me alone. I am delighted that you liked this chapter, especially the suspense and surprise. I am glad to finally get it written and posted and have Piper on his way to the Faerie realm. I have missed being on the site and look forward to seeing your work more often. I am sure I have missed some great stories and poetry.
    Debi
  -1-  2  Next Page 


Market your book.
Advertising options.
His marriage faults
Comedy Script


Share or Bookmark
  Contact Us | En español | Advertise With Us

© 2015 FanStory.com, Inc. All Rights Reserved. Terms under which this service is provided to you. Privacy