A Broken Heart Won't Kill Ya
[Meant to be sung, folks - not precise meter...]
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  51 total reviews 
Comment by
Robert Zimmerman
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Hello Jaybird. This is an oldie but a goodie. It is written with good rhyme and meter as I would expect from you. I look forward to your next offering. Robert


 Comment Written 03-Aug-2019


Comment by
kahpot
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What a great read, and yes some of it did, and all though don't like to admit it some may still apply, this is an excellent read, very well done and thank you for sharing, I will read this many times I think****kahpot


 Comment Written 03-Aug-2019


Comment by
Amale Rhodes
 
 
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Thank you for your poem! I feel like every person can relate to it...the crisis and concern of not meeting the expectations we set for ourselves. I would say that some of the repetition is not necessary, for example when you write "really very." Also, I was a little confused on how the two stanzas connected. Last, when you say "should enhance my effort" are you talking about effort towards -choosing- what you should focus on or endeavors in general. I was a little unsure of what meaning you were trying to convey. But, I think it's highly likely I just missed something and was an enjoyable read nonetheless. Thank you!

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 Comment Written 03-Aug-2019


Comment by
Coco Jane
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Some good advice here. People of all ages need it!

Consider adding something about how the realization has affected your life since 1960.

I like the part about sending away greed and hate and envy.


 Comment Written 03-Aug-2019


Comment by
Ms. Snyder
 
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A very nice sentiment that I hope you still implore this day for yourself and others. I have to hope that the peaceful teens of the 60s will help right this world while there is still breath in their bodies. I pray they have taught their grandchildren enough and have tried to circle back with their kids. I am an 80's teen that learned that life is precious and we always would look to the sixties with such fondness. The fact that you wrote this the is quite telling and fantastic as I'm sure it has made you a very compassionate soul. Cheers, Fonda


 Comment Written 03-Aug-2019


Comment by
Gail Denham
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Yes, sending anger, fear, greed, hate, envy on their way. The only way to be free to concentrate on the creative side of things. Good poem to encourage us all to be free of these things.


 Comment Written 03-Aug-2019


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Teri7
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This is a very interesting and well written poem you penned in 1960 my friend. You used very good descriptive words and very good imagery from your words. I hope you are doing ok these days! Blessings, Teri


 Comment Written 03-Aug-2019


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Spangle
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I like your posting a lot. We are always learning. Of course, it's better when the lessons are derived from something good happening (like hopes being realized, patience paying off, etc.) I just wish we had been born with a bit of wisdom passed down genetically. It would help to avoid a lot of difficulties.


 Comment Written 03-Aug-2019


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DonandVicki
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To live without the seven deadly sins will make a person healthy and wise. Maybe not wealthy, but I know a lot of wealthy people who are very miserable.


 Comment Written 03-Aug-2019


Comment by
Mystic Angel 7777
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This is a delightfully inspiring verse, my friend. I thoroughly enjoyed and wish that such things could come true for the world and not just you :). Well done and thank you very much for sharing it.


 Comment Written 03-Aug-2019


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