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Reviews from
El Paso to Anarchy


Free Verse Poem

  13 total reviews 
Comment by
Sandra du Plessis
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  Rank:  7
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  Rank:  64 (+1)
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 Rank:  5
 

#7 Ranked Poet

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A very well-written heartfelt free verse poem about the senseless killing of innocent people by unhappy people who are probably brainwashed to do this horrific deedso for evil people behind the scenes.


 Comment Written 05-Aug-2019



reply by the author on 06-Aug-2019
    Thanks, Sandra. This kind of tragic event makes me really angry because it is often quite preventable.

    Steve
Comment by
tfawcus
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A chilling scenario, even more so for its truth. The web spreads the venom of racism faster than the eye can see, infecting scores of vulnerable young minds. Hatred is a learned behaviour.


 Comment Written 05-Aug-2019



reply by the author on 06-Aug-2019
    Thanks, Tony. I am thinking of trading in my poet's pen for a prophet's crystal ball and cape. The next event happened within a couple of hours of my writing this. Could this be enough to shake the lawmakers out of their complacency?

    Steve
Comment by
LefthandedScribe
 
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Thank you for sharing this so soon. Art heals so much of the pain in our world, and you did a beautiful job of expressing the horror of these senseless crimes.


 Comment Written 04-Aug-2019



reply by the author on 05-Aug-2019
    Thanks, Shauna - and welcome to FanStory - hope you like it here.

    Steve
Comment by
Spangle
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Respect for others is diminishing rapidly in this world's present climate of hate...El Paso is a tragic example. How can law and justice prevail when so many have nothing but self-interest at heart, and despise anything/anyone outside their personal agenda? You have definitely posted a significant free verse.


 Comment Written 04-Aug-2019



reply by the author on 05-Aug-2019
    Thank you very much for the thoughtful response. I fired this off in anger, because, even given that lack of respect, the solution to reducing the carnage is obvious and only the refusal by politicians to give up their NRA donations prevents the saving of many lives.

    Steve
Comment by
Jesse James Doty
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Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level
Wow. This is powerful...and timely. The terrifying descriptions of one thousand young white men are, as you say, "One short step" away from anarchy. The title; the line above; the introductive first line; and the complete free verse poem, are all exceptionally done. This is well written. This is scary because it is real. It reminds me of a documentary I saw long ago, about devil worshipping. The same venomous deeds wished for and done. I see no difference. Your last verse is especially well done and powerful. You have a way with words, and you have used them to make an excellent point. Your very last line; "Tomorrow: ??" asks the question we all need to hear. I am not sure of what to do about this evil trend, but I know something must be done. Thank you for bringing up to our attention this awful White Supremacy trend.
Take care, Jesse


 Comment Written 04-Aug-2019



reply by the author on 05-Aug-2019
    It seems the answer to
    Tomorrow??' was Dayton.

    I see the FBI is worried about copycat crimes, which is really what the first part of the poem was all about. Sometimes I scare myself with my prescience. If poetry doesn't work out, perhaps I can take up soothsaying.

    Thanks for the thoughtful and supportive response.

    Steve

reply by Jesse James Doty on 05-Aug-2019
    But, when and where will be the next one? And, the next after that? Copycat crimes are part of what is going on, but this White Supremacy thing appears to be building in intensity. I blame social media for some of it. Not all of course, but they play right into the spreading of propaganda. I don't know the answer. But, I wish somebody did. Thanks for opening a needed discussion, Steve.
    Jesse
Comment by
DR DIP
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Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level
whoa Steve one of your best that is so powerful written with all the vent and emotion of one very frustrated and bewildered one angry one sad outsider just like myself. Well done bud well done now lets see the hornets fly from the nest!

dip


 Comment Written 04-Aug-2019



reply by the author on 05-Aug-2019
    Yes, I am angry! Because the loss of so many innocent lives is needless.

    The hornets will steer clear, I suspect, but bring them on if they're brave enough.

    Thanks for the support.

    Steve

reply by DR DIP on 05-Aug-2019
    you might appreciate my poem tonight
Comment by
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humpwhistle
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#3 Ranked Author
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level
We barely had to wait for tomorrow. Dayton--though we can't the motive . . . yet. Perhaps, this was the work of a Mormon missionary?

A few months ago, when a synagogue was the target, the Spider called on Americans to support our Jewish brothers and sisters. To denounce anti-Semitism.

Now that Latinos were the targets, do you think he'll be so generous?

I don't.

Two more bad days in America. I expect the rhetoric will get more heated, but little will be done.

Peace, Lee



 Comment Written 04-Aug-2019



reply by the author on 05-Aug-2019
    Yeah, I'm giving up poetry and taking up fortune-telling! Quite possibly more to come, despite the FBI promising to crack down on copycats.

    I know I'm largely preaching to the converted and I suspect the Spider will stick to a carefully scripted response while the country is so riled up, but it looks like they're heading down the mental illness route. One psychiatrist interviewed on CNN today said the only mental illness on display was in the White House - which was cute, but possibly not true. These guys are disturbed certainly and susceptible to the kind of mind games played by the extreme right, but most of them aren't mentally ill in any formal sense.

    What will it take to make change, do you think. Ten days like this in a row? Something as big as 9/11?

    Steve

reply by humpwhistle on 05-Aug-2019
    I have no idea what it will take to move the needle sufficiently to bring about meaningful change. Insanity is not predictable. L
Comment by
CrystieCookie999
 
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  Rank:  59 (+2)
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  Rank:  37
 

#7 Ranked Script Writer
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Strong political style poem. I love the half-rhyme of "searches" and "surges" about two lines later. I also see an end rhyme with "again" and "men." I thought they were still investigating this since it is so recent. I was telling a friend last night that when we grew up, it seemed like this sort of carnage was much, much rarer. Some of it may have to do with how weapons are more "advanced," so to speak. I pointed out that the mind gets re-wired with overuse of violent video games. Future teachers literally have to learn how to work with ideas at a faster pace just to keep students from getting bored. I related that even pro-social video games shape behavior. For example, a game I played for a week involved searching for Native American artifacts on the surface of a desert on private lands (which is 100% legal) by looking down and clicking near rocks. The next week, I caught myself "looking" for the same kind of artifacts on the ground, even though I was in the middle of a city, and there were of course, no such artifacts anywhere. Although I don't agree with the last stanza, it is certainly a powerful metaphor. Well-done.


 Comment Written 04-Aug-2019



reply by the author on 05-Aug-2019
    CC, thanks for your thoughtful response to my little outburst!

    Even if you don't think the President's rhetoric is linked to the surge in mass shootings, you have to admit that every politician knows at least a partial solution - decent gun legislation. It won't stop all shootings, but it will reduce the number and make it less likely that these murderers can lay their hands on such brutal weapons.

    How much is one life worth?

    Steve

reply by CrystieCookie999 on 05-Aug-2019
    Yes, someone else had a poem about gun legislation reform. I mentioned that my father always kept two or three ordinary hunting rifles in the most remote basement corner of the house, unloaded, and nearly impossible to reach. The development of semi-automatic weapons has been something that changes the game. However, my father, who had a degree in political science, has already passed away. I think there is a lot that goes on with immigration that people in northern states don't ever see, and even though I have worked with Latinos more than half of my life, legal and illegal, and most of them are great people, I got immensely frustrated with finding out someone who was a friend of a friend was here illegally and selling drugs, and I was not allowed to report him for fear of repercussions. I have not read all the news reports yet, but someone said the individual in Texas' mall shooting was on an anti-Latino rant of some kind. Personally, even though I vote, I stay as far away from politics as possible for now, because bankers, lawyers, and a federal judge systematically took over 20,000 acres from my grandparents and other family members, and we just learned to be very, very quiet to avoid worse consequences. If people knew what people in power were capable of, they would not be so quick to emigrate here, though.
Comment by
barbara.wilkey
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barbara.wilkey Recommends:
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#5 Ranked Novelist
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I wish I knew the answer to this senseless violence. I fear there is no real answer. I wish and pray for peace but it doesn't seem to come. Thank you for sharing your poem.


 Comment Written 04-Aug-2019



reply by the author on 05-Aug-2019
    Thanks, Barbara.

    I'm afraid one very worthwhile solution is staring every politician in the face, but they consistently refuse to take it up and the blood of all these people is on their hands.

    I'm talking about gun control, of course, and the fact that so many politicians are basically sponsored by the NRA

    We are well past the time for wishing and praying. Try letting your local congressman/woman know you won't vote for them if they accept campaign contributions from the NRA.

    Steve
Comment by
Mystic Angel 7777
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On the morrow there was yet more of the spider's heinous venom spread. The world has become a dark and dangerous place where it seems almost appropriate to place Dante's words of "Abandon all hope ye who enter here" on the entries to maternity wards everywhere. I still continue to believe light will overcome the darkness - we just need more candles to make it bright enough. Well done and thank you very much for sharing it.


 Comment Written 04-Aug-2019



reply by the author on 05-Aug-2019
    Yes, I feel like some sort of old-time prophet, my prediction came true so quickly!

    More candles? Only if you can light them under the butts of any congressman who accepts campaign donations from the NRA!

    Steve
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