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Reviews from
The Case of the Buoyed Boy

Perry Mason breaks the fourth wall

  16 total reviews 
Comment by
judester
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Poet Rating
  Rank:  70
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  Rank:  58
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Review Stars
  Rank:  204
 
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Good one. As a child of the sixties, I can appreciate the witnesses. Good luck in the contest Mark, you have this vote, cheers, judester


 Comment Written 07-Sep-2019



reply by the author on 08-Sep-2019
    Thanks for the review and the vote. I love the courtroom scenes in Perry Mason, so it was fun to try to write one.
Comment by
Adri7enne
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  Rank:  442
 
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Ah, you're cute, Mark. A bit long-winded, but cute, and your heart is in the right place. I was getting really pissed at the Hamburger character so I enjoyed him getting put back in his place. It was a fun read. I hope Dawn Wells calls you. Lol! Good luck in the contest.


 Comment Written 03-Sep-2019



reply by the author on 04-Sep-2019
    Thanks for reading this one - you're right, it was a bit long-winded. I love writing in the voice of Hamilton Burger and Perry Mason - such unique over-the-top characters I'm afraid I got a little carried away. And alas, still waiting for that call from Dawn.
Comment by
Sallyo
Level 3 Pro
I am Australian.
Therefore, I write like an Australian.
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  115 (+2)
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  Rank:  15
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  Rank:  57
 
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Well... that kept my attention! Loved it when The Voice made an appearance. I didn't guess it was autobiographical, though... until then.
Couple of points...
said Snicker's bar in your pocket. Isn't that true?
Snickers
Lassie walks up to the witness stand and places his paw on the Bible.
Lassie's a girl. Okay, maybe she was played by a male...


 Comment Written 10-Aug-2019



reply by the author on 10-Aug-2019
    Thanks for those two really good catches - you've a very keen eye for detail. Much appreciated and I've made the changes.
Comment by
aryr
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  Rank:  108
 
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This was definitely very interesting Mark, Joey, whomever. It was rather creative and very well done. Using the TV characters was a fantastic idea as well as the use of Perry Mason and Hamilton Burger. Great job.


 Comment Written 10-Aug-2019



reply by the author on 14-Aug-2019
    Thanks. I love Perry Mason and it's fun to try to copy that style of dialogue.

reply by aryr on 14-Aug-2019
    most welcome
Comment by
Mastery
Published Author
Semper Fi
 
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  Rank:  139
 
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Excellent humor and creativity, buddy. Wow! Great script. I love the way you characterized Hamburger and Mason.
This is undoubtedly the funniest script I have ever read on here. Sorry, I am out of sixes, my friend.

: ) Bob


 Comment Written 09-Aug-2019



reply by the author on 12-Aug-2019
    Thanks, Bob. I love Perry Mason and so trying to write in the voice of those characters was a lot of fun.

reply by Mastery on 12-Aug-2019
    I still wonder if Perry is banging Della though....don't you? : ) Bob
Comment by
Mabaker
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  Rank:  400
 
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This work has reached the exceptional level
Now you know why they judge you one of the Best.
If I were able I would award you fifty stars, sadly I only have six. If you ever write all your titbits in a book please let me know. Sincerely Anne.


 Comment Written 08-Aug-2019



reply by the author on 09-Aug-2019
    Wow - thank you so much, Anne. I hadn't written anything in a while - it's nice to get this kind of affirmation.

reply by Mabaker on 09-Aug-2019
    You are welcome.
Comment by
susand3022
Premier Author
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  43
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  Rank:  29
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  Rank:  24
Script Rating
  Rank:  7
Review Stars
  Rank:  22
 
susand3022 Recommends:
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Pays:10 points
10 member cents

 

#7 Ranked Script Writer
Excellent
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Do you know what would have been a really good one??? That would have been if you had married Dawn and had the family. LOL That would have been the icing on the cake! LMAO... This was a really fun story! :)


 Comment Written 08-Aug-2019



reply by the author on 08-Aug-2019
    Oh, that would have been good. I'm sure at some point Dawn and I will end up together in something I write.
Comment by
robyn corum
Word Twister
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  Rank:  16
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  Rank:  11
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  Rank:  37
 
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Mark,

I completely understand why you would be taken up on charges for those nasty, horrible poems. You actually deserved to be guillotined, not just sent to reform school. My, we have gotten far too lax as a society. Good grief. We should send a message! We won't allow this kind of behavior!! Who cares that the kid might grow up to be a superhero?? We have enough superheroes! Haven't you watched the Marvel series? Gag. Off with their heads, I say. That'll learn 'em, dern 'em.


 Comment Written 08-Aug-2019



reply by the author on 08-Aug-2019
    Actually, toward the end of 4th grade, I ended up getting in Sr. Mechtildis good graces. It was Good Friday - we had no school, but Sister Mechtildis told us she was going to check to see if we went to church (there's no Mass on Good Friday - she just wanted to make sure, at some point in the day, that we were in church praying.
    I, being very afraid of her (everybody was afraid of her), got to the church about 5:45 a.m. - it was still dark and pretty cold. The door was locked, so I just sat there on the steps shivering my 9 year old butt off. Around 6, Sister came to unlock the doors and saw me there. She put her arm around me and, as I remember, she was very kind to me. She told me to go home and eat some breakfast and then come back.


reply by robyn corum on 08-Aug-2019
    Nah. That was a dream
Comment by
the13thpoet
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  Rank:  46
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  Rank:  31
 
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level
A tremendous Thursday to you, Mark my friend. I have done a lot of review since I joined this site, and I am sure I have said this before in other reviews. However that was a great piece of work. It was very well-written and HIGHLY IMAGINIATVE AND INVITIVE! You truly have a GREAT imagination! WONDERFUL work. Thank you for sharing that I thoroughly enjoyed it!


 Comment Written 08-Aug-2019



reply by the author on 08-Aug-2019
    Wow - thank you SO much for this uplifting review - it made my day!
Comment by
Pantygynt
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Poet Rating
  Rank:  51
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  Rank:  4
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  Rank:  21
 

#4 Ranked Novelist
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level
This is how everyone should start a Thursday morning -- with a good belly laugh. Bring back those days of black and white TV, and black and white morality into bargain. Why wasn't Ironsides in this two? I am sure Raymond Burr could have handled the double role convincingly, peter Sellars managed it all the time. And you could have had him enter in a wheelchair actually playing the accordion.

Or would that have been a metaphor too far?

Oh yes, and by the way, I stuck a reserved notice on Mary Ann Summers way back when!

Six stars for giving me a fun start to the day.


 Comment Written 08-Aug-2019



reply by the author on 08-Aug-2019
    Thanks so much, Jim. I wasn't sure how many of the TV shows would be known outside of the US. My favorite part of Ironsides were the chase scenes.

    By the way, I love the notion of pairing black and white TV with black and white morality - you should use that in a poem.

reply by Pantygynt on 08-Aug-2019
    Perhaps I will. Thanks for the idea.
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