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Reviews from
The Sessile Oaks of Allt-y-Rhiw


A narrative poem in Onegin Stanzas.

  15 total reviews 
Comment by
Pearl Edwards
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Poet Rating
  Rank:  80
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Review Stars
  Rank:  94
 
Excellent
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This is a good run down of your story told in this easy flowing narrative poem. Love the picture of these knarly trees. Your stories have, I've just realised, influenced the Symmetrina I'm about to put up, hope you don't mind.
cheers,
valda


 Comment Written 14-Aug-2019



reply by the author on 14-Aug-2019
    I am sure I wont mind. I will look out for it. Thanks for this lovely review.
Comment by
damommy
Premier Author
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  29
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Review Stars
  Rank:  50
 
Excellent
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This is lovely, but difficult, I think. I picked up on the rhyming through and the alliteration. You tell the story in so many great ways.

I wonder what it would be like to live with the Tylwyth Teg? Interesting, if a little frightening, maybe.


 Comment Written 12-Aug-2019



reply by the author on 13-Aug-2019
    Perhaps your group should try this form. Please feel free to use my notes by way of a definition. The difficulty with it is that people lose their way when writing it. A planned approach worked for me. Write the rhyme scheme down vertically before you start and leave a line space after each quatrain. When finished it is easy enough to delete the scheme letters and the line spacing prior to posting. It is a good form for narrative verse.

    Thank you for this review.

reply by damommy on 13-Aug-2019
    Thank you for allowing us to use your example. I'll talk to Jan about it. The problem is, no one wants to take on a real challenge. Probably we'd be the only two to try it. Ever since taking your class, I always create a template. I still get things wrong, though. lol. But at least I hang onto my record of never getting it right the first time. 8-)
Comment by
susand3022
Premier Author
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  36 (+1)
Author Rating For Short Works
  Rank:  23
Author Rating For Novels
  Rank:  28
Script Rating
  Rank:  7
Review Stars
  Rank:  12
 
susand3022 Recommends:
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#7 Ranked Script Writer
Exceptional
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Hi Lee! This is awesome! I love this poem as a great tie-in to the stories that you've been writing. It's a fantastic forward or something for the back cover of the book! (Would it fit on the back cover? Probably not... ) I love it though! I also liked the explanation of the form at the bottom. I've never been very good at the Sonnets... something I leave to the pros like you and Dolly! ;)


 Comment Written 12-Aug-2019



reply by the author on 12-Aug-2019
    I am not Lee. I am Jim. Lol. Nevermind though, six stars more than makes up for a case of mistaken identity. Thanks so much for that. Perhaps I could use it as a kind of poetic preface to that part of the book concerned with the woodland.

reply by susand3022 on 12-Aug-2019
    So sorry for that! I can't believe I did that again!!! I had the wrong name on the card. (Even when I write things down I can't get them right!) But it's right now... I ought to be good from now on Jim! Swiss Cheese seizure brain notwithstanding. You write amazing stories I can't stay away from so you may have to suffer the lack of memory for names I get from my Mother who always called me, "Joan-Janet-Bobby-Uh-Susan!" Never mind that Bobby, along with being the boy was younger than me! LOL

reply by the author on 12-Aug-2019
    There was an old woman who lived in a shoe
    She had so many children she didn't know what to do.
Comment by
sandramitchell
Level 1 Pro
Sandra Mitchell
Sandra Stoner Mitc
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  54
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Author Rating For Novels
  Rank:  1
Review Stars
  Rank:  23
 

#1 Ranked Novelist!
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It's a really sad story, isn't it? Man against purity can't last forever. Human's were born with desires that they do succumb to, even when they are reluctant. It's our way, unfortunately. This was a lovely peom that told the first part of this incredible story. Well done again, my friend. :)) Sandra xx


 Comment Written 12-Aug-2019



reply by the author on 12-Aug-2019
    Thank you so much for this positive view of my poem.
Comment by
Gail Denham
Premier Author
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  118
Author Rating For Short Works
 
Review Stars
  Rank:  37
 
Excellent
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Nice poem for this form. Are you the one who is writing the fairy story of Derwin telling her daughter of the transfer of powers and how it went between the mother and father when he chose to mark the trees for cutting.
Interesting poem


 Comment Written 12-Aug-2019



reply by the author on 12-Aug-2019
    Thank you for this review. Yes, indeed I must hold up my hand to being the author of both the prose version and this version too.
Comment by
lyenochka
Premier Author
Premier Reader
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  5
Author Rating For Short Works
  Rank:  2
Author Rating For Novels
  Rank:  3
Script Rating
  Rank:  2
Review Stars
  Rank:  4
 

#2 Ranked Author

#3 Ranked Novelist

#5 Ranked Poet

#2 Ranked Script Writer

#4 Ranked Reviewer
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level
I read Melissa's Onegin stanzas and was impressed. I enjoyed reading both your prose and this wonderful retelling in Pushkin's famous format. It was a book that I had to read in Russian and I really appreciate how you have captured the meter in your narrative poem. Russian is more strongly stressed than English so the beat/rhythm is even more emphatic.


 Comment Written 11-Aug-2019



reply by the author on 12-Aug-2019
    A six star review on this from you is something I really treasure, as it seems that there are few readers here on FanStory who have ever heard of Pushkin, and fewer if any who can ever have read his work in the original Russian. To put it bluntly, I am thrilled to bits by your review.

    I am also really pleased that you were impressed with Melissa's rendering of the same form. For a teacher, the success of one's pupils is even more important than one's own triumphs. Thank you again.
Comment by
2019 Poet of the Year
Dolly'sPoems
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Poet Rating
  Rank:  2
Review Stars
  
 Rank:  2
 

#2 Ranked Poet

#2 Ranked Reviewer
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
A fine Onegin Sonnet and the second one I have read tonight and I love the form! Your story condensed into this rhyming offering is a joy to read and the last line is a gem. A form to best tell the story so far, much enjoyed, love Dolly x


 Comment Written 11-Aug-2019



reply by the author on 11-Aug-2019
    Thanks for this review. You have all the details of the form in the note here and you like complex forms so give it a go. Hey! How about the Onegin Awdl? I hope I dont regret having said that.
Comment by
Sallyo
Level 3 Pro
I am Australian.
Therefore, I write like an Australian.
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  125
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Author Rating For Novels
  Rank:  16
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Review Stars
  Rank:  104
 
Excellent
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Aha--the story told in your novel. That is a complicated form of sonnet, and not an easy choice of material to render that way. If you were challenging yourself, you obviously succeeded.


 Comment Written 11-Aug-2019



reply by the author on 11-Aug-2019
    Many thanks for reviewing. I think the form is a good one for telling a story as the varied rhyme scheme including the requirement for masculine and feminine rhyme gets away from a repetive rhythm that besets most narrative poetry.
Comment by
Iza Deleanu
Premier Author
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  154
Author Rating For Short Works
  Rank:  74
Author Rating For Novels
  Rank:  14
Script Rating
 
Review Stars
  Rank:  9
 
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level
Thank you for sharing I have not heard about Alexander Puskin for a long time. Lots of interference with myths and Gothic elements such as necromancy that modify the oaks, chuckle that reverberates like castanets-very powerful. Good luck with your writing


 Comment Written 11-Aug-2019



reply by the author on 12-Aug-2019
    Many thanks indeed for this six star review, I am so pleased you enjoyed my resurrection of Pushkin.

reply by Iza Deleanu on 12-Aug-2019
    You are welcome 😆

reply by the author on 12-Aug-2019
    Many thanks for a lovely review here. I am thinking perhaps I should sponsor a contest for writing a Pushkin Sonnet.
Comment by
CrystieCookie999
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  73
Author Rating For Short Works
  Rank:  31 (+3)
Script Rating
  Rank:  4
Review Stars
  Rank:  28
 

#4 Ranked Script Writer
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
I sure like the ending two lines of this poem. And I was reminded by a friend a year ago that Russian poetry forms can be challenging but rewarding. One of these days I ought to study them in more detail. She even mentioned Pushkin, too. The phrase "To which witch dances" must be fun to say aloud without spitting. I see I need to catch up on some fantasy or mythological references, since I didn't know what a wrach was. Thank you for posting.


 Comment Written 11-Aug-2019



reply by the author on 12-Aug-2019
    Many thanks for a lovely review here. I am thinking perhaps I should sponsor a contest for writing a Pushkin Sonnet.
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