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Success In Life


We all search for it-sonnet

  72 total reviews 
Comment by
kiwisteveh
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  Rank:  100
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  Rank:  97
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  Rank:  148
 
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Your slightly non-conventional sonnet presents a strong message of what is and what isn't the way to live life. Good rhythm and rhyme gives the poem a nice flow.

There is one small spag
ever --> every (line 13)

Steve


 Comment Written 13-Sep-2019

Comment by
Adri7enne
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"Let peace and joy attend your EVER need." EVERY?

I agree with the theme of your poem. "What profit a man to gain the whole world if he loses his soul in the process." I don't know if I quote it properly but I'm sure we agree on the gist of it. You have some good AA BB rhyming. I enjoyed reading your poem.


 Comment Written 13-Sep-2019

Comment by
Vance Seagle
 
 
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I found this work to be exceptionally well done in content and overall presentation in all dimensions! the advice is rich and meaningful, very well delivered with excellent poetic delivery that is very well done and calling for no recommended changes of any kind whatsoever. My thanks and congratulations to this fine author for a really excellent work here! HIS GRAYNESS; Vance


 Comment Written 13-Sep-2019

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Cindy Warren
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Sucess is having enough to be happy. More than that is just greed and it may well come with a high price. When I'm old I'll need my family a lot more than I'll need a lot of money.


 Comment Written 13-Sep-2019

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Bichon
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Such a true poem. Money and other things are not forever, they will not make you happy alone. You must have family and friends to truly feel the love of others in your life.


 Comment Written 13-Sep-2019

Comment by
moongirlwriter
 
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I like this poem and what it has to say about how we live our lives. The poem flows perfectly until the last two lines. I think in the line. . .Let peace and joy attend your ever (should be every?) need? And then the last line needs a couple of word to change for it to flow well. . . this way in life will bless you, maybe "in this way life will bless you?" or "this is the way life will bless you?" Just a thought. Very nice. Thanks for sharing your work. :)


 Comment Written 13-Sep-2019

Comment by
Y. M. Roger
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  Rank:  5
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  Rank:  20
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  Rank:  3
 

#5 Ranked Author
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And it is a very best lesson to learn that there is still joy in the journey even though we don't win ... a wonderful offering for the week with such great advice!! ;) ;) Thanx for sharing! ;)


 Comment Written 13-Sep-2019

Comment by
Mia Twysted
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Good advice to put out there into the world. So many people want what they cannot take with them. They want that fame only to receive it to find out they are now all alone.


 Comment Written 13-Sep-2019

Comment by
the13thpoet
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Hello again Jaybird1, a happy Friday to you. I hope this review finds you well in health and spirits. As always it is a pleasure reading your work. It is a straight forward, easy read filled with heartfelt words and wisdom. Good job! thanks for sharing


 Comment Written 13-Sep-2019

Comment by
Susan Morritt
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I enjoyed this poem. You don't mince words and your opinions are solid. Your opening line ending, "you can't take it to your grave" really states what so many people (especially our leaders) don't seem to grasp. I also admire the words, "greed is the scourge." So very true. I also noticed the date you composed this poem. I am a Canadian, but my heart goes out to Americans on the anniversary of that terrible day.

Susan


 Comment Written 13-Sep-2019

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