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Two Line Poem
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5-7-5 Poem
Deadline: Jul 10th

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Reviews from
Success In Life


We all search for it-sonnet

  72 total reviews 
Comment by
DonandVicki
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A sonnet that gives the reader a life's lesson. I have tried to write sonnets before but I never can get the thing to sound not forced. At seventy one i have discovered that getting this far is success enough for me.


 Comment Written 11-Sep-2019


Comment by
Gypsymooncat
Level 1 Pro
Writing is choc
Writing is wine
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  144
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  Rank:  115 (+1)
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  Rank:  150
 
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The world is a pretty sad place these days, as most keep on treading that treadmill of wanting more things, more success, more money...I wonder when we'll ever get back to basics and learn to value the basic essence of life rather than adornments.

I thought your poem was not only excellent for its message, but the structure of a sonnet was executed really well here, and I found no hiccups or rough patches - it just flowed along. Well done!


 Comment Written 11-Sep-2019


Comment by
Reading Ray Ray
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Jaybird this is fantastic! I love how the flow of it is and the first 2 lines really set the tone of your message. And a great message at that! Wisdom that applies universally.
Thank you for sharing and good luck in the contest! I am looking forward to reading more of your creations.
Blessings,


 Comment Written 11-Sep-2019


Comment by
Jannypan (Jan)
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  Rank:  5
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  Rank:  18 (+1)
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  Rank:  6
 

#5 Ranked Poet
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I enjoyed your poem, Jay. Your lines read well with great rhymes. This is super advice for anyone. Money, although necessary, doesn't make a person. It is, as you say, the way the person acts towards others--not what money can but which is just for show. true action are worth more than money. Your poem reads like a prayer. Thanks for sharing. Respectfully with Admiration. Jan


 Comment Written 11-Sep-2019


Comment by
Susan Larson
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  Rank:  127
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  Rank:  32
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  Rank:  83
 
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Excellent message. I agree with all you say. A few technicalities I'd like to mention. Power, rank game - omit one of these to make it flow and becomes should be become. I really like your ending.

This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
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 Comment Written 11-Sep-2019


Comment by
Robert Zimmerman
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  Rank:  36
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  Rank:  9
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  Rank:  39
 

#9 Ranked Author
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Hello jaybird. This is an excellent rhyme didn't metered poem discussing the priorities of life. You list several options of how people live their lives and that the final choice is really what affects the quality of the life they lived. Robert


 Comment Written 11-Sep-2019


Comment by
Sallyo
Level 3 Pro
I am Australian.
Therefore, I write like an Australian.
 
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  Rank:  156
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  Rank:  21
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Review Stars
  Rank:  637
 
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Your pieces never fail to me impress
Your rhyme perfection, but I do digress...
Lovely piece, which works as a homily as well as a poem. Looking forward to another masterpiece from the master.


 Comment Written 11-Sep-2019


Comment by
Raffaelina Lowcock
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  Rank:  56
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  Rank:  42 (+1)
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  Rank:  61
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  Rank:  23
 
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With your wisdom, I'm sure you have reached a profound success. I love your poetry; it is so full of delicate phrases with meaningful messages.
It is so comforting.


 Comment Written 11-Sep-2019


Comment by
Raul1
JOSE CONDE
Miami
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  216 (+2)
Author Rating For Short Works
  Rank:  155 (+2)
Review Stars
  Rank:  60
 
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Happiness is all that counts. I like this poem. It has hope for some people who need it. Excellent work! No grammatical errors. Thanks for sharing! Good job!


 Comment Written 11-Sep-2019


Comment by
karenina
Premier Author
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  105 (+7)
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  Rank:  135
 
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You've done it again! Left me smiling and nodding my sincere affirmation of your poetic wisdom! Woe to those who count their wealth in earthly currency! It won't buy them a moment's grace in heaven!--Karenina


 Comment Written 11-Sep-2019


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