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Reviews from
Reflection


A man just trying to get through the grind of everyday life

  27 total reviews 
Comment by
JLR
Premier Author
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  15
Author Rating For Short Works
  Rank:  37
Review Stars
  Rank:  69
 
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Dearmwriter a very engaging story. However, I couldn't help but stumble over the use of the word "slowly: three times....

Perhaps leisurely, at a slow pace ...might offer some balance.
Otherwise a very good piece, good luck! Write on and write often!


 Comment Written 21-Oct-2019



reply by the author on 21-Oct-2019
    Thank you for the review. I am glad you liked it
Comment by
Patty Palmer
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  Rank:  57
Author Rating For Short Works
  Rank:  44
Author Rating For Novels
  Rank:  82
Review Stars
  Rank:  21
 
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level
Wow!! Just like something out of the old Twilight Zone shows! This was great! It kept my total interest the entire time I was reading it, moving on to find what would happen next! Great job!!!!
Good luck with the contest!
Patty


 Comment Written 21-Oct-2019



reply by the author on 21-Oct-2019
    Thank you for the review I am glad you liked it

reply by Patty Palmer on 21-Oct-2019
    you're very welcome!
Comment by
MissMerri
Merri, Premier Author
 
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  Rank:  24
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  Rank:  251
 
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I really enjoyed this story. It held my interest all the way through as I continued to root for the poor guy who never dared to break out of his boring routine. It was such a pleasant relief when he finally made the escape.
My suggestion would be to be a little more careful as you paint each word scene. Make sure to finish your strokes so that a person on the floor doesn't turn and walk out the door, for example, before he gets up off the floor. I hope this makes sense. If you read through your story again, you will find two or three places like this. Good job telling a story that also makes a worthwhile point.


 Comment Written 15-Oct-2019



reply by the author on 15-Oct-2019
    Thank you I am glad you enjoyed it
Comment by
country ranch writer
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  Rank:  168
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  Rank:  23
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  Rank:  33
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  Rank:  55
 
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Reflections like to make us second to none very crazy at times! We tend to over think and and have second thoughts about our life it's a rat race out there.


 Comment Written 15-Oct-2019



reply by the author on 15-Oct-2019
    Thank you for your review
Comment by
Alex Rosel
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  Rank:  153
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  Rank:  10
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  Rank:  18
 

#10 Ranked Author
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I love the opening paragraph to this. It's full of intrigue and it'll likely have the reader hooked before the second paragraph begins {smiles}.

Still moving quickly to make up time, I Started up the easy auto-routine I had for shaving. -- Spag? You've capitalized "started" when it doesn't need to be.

This was the kind of grin you see on someone's face right before they pull your chair out from under you -- Great imagery {smiles}.

I saw my reflection looking at me from the window across the office. I could feel its eyes on me even when I wasn't looking -- Creepy! {smiles}.

Everything got dark, and I could not see where I was right away, I spun around and what I saw made me sick to my stomach. -- This is a comma splice. The "I spun around..." is its own sentence.

I particularly like how you've constructed the last paragraph as a revision of the first.

A good story {thumbs up}.


 Comment Written 15-Oct-2019



reply by the author on 15-Oct-2019
    Thank you for the review I am glad you liked the stories. Thank you for the SPAG help, I always have a hard time with it.
Comment by
Dionisios
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Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level
This is awesome! I seriously didn't know where it was going. For a moment I thought it was going to be something more horrific and gruesome or something on the lines of mental illness but this was something else. You planted the story points at just the right places, such as how mundane and boring the main character's life was (grooving to the oldies every day, this reminded me of Groundhog Day film), how he went down a narrowing path of loneliness and introversion. And how he'd see the reflection, his Mr. Hyde, everywhere, wanting to break out. But I wondered what triggered this downward spiral of seclusion and repetition, of a bland and tasteless and friendless life, if it was always his state of mind or some kind of action that drove him to shades of gray. That's what makes this a great story, is now I have questions! Feed me more! Your pacing is great and reads seamless and active; no expositional chunks anywhere. No pun but, this can be an episode of Black Mirror. Thank you for sharing and good luck!


 Comment Written 13-Oct-2019



reply by the author on 14-Oct-2019
    Thank you for the review. Sometimes there isn't a big event that gets you stuck in a downward spiral. I think a normal, repetitive, boring lifestyle is just easier and you don't realize how much time you wasted until its too late.
Comment by
Melonie Kirchoff
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What a great story! It's very spooky but also makes the reader stop and think. The plot reminds me a bit of Twin Peaks, if you've ever seen it, the part where the murderer looks in the mirror but it's Bob looking back. I didn't go around mirrors for a day after seeing that. Great job!


 Comment Written 10-Oct-2019



reply by the author on 10-Oct-2019
    Thank you for taking the time to read my story.
Comment by
brenda bickers
Premier Author
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Poet Rating
  Rank:  104
Author Rating For Short Works
 
Review Stars
  Rank:  54
 
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Hi There,
Wow that was a great read. You kept me hooked from beginning to end.
I like the concept of the story and in some places it was quite scary and un-nerving.
I hope there will be more to come.
Brenda.x


 Comment Written 08-Oct-2019



reply by the author on 08-Oct-2019
    Thank you for the reivew
Comment by
Katherine M. Kean
Premier Author
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  256
Author Rating For Short Works
  Rank:  127 (+2)
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This is an excellent read, apart from being a bit long. I read it over breakfast, and perhaps not surprisingly no longer want to go to work this morning. I travel on public transport... will I travel towards work or in the opposite direction? and if the former will I get off at my usual stop or carry on? I am looking forward to interesting developments.


 Comment Written 07-Oct-2019



reply by the author on 08-Oct-2019
    Thank you for taking the time to read my story
Comment by
w.j.debi
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  Rank:  42
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  Rank:  123
 
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This seems like it should be a Twlight Zone segment. The man and his buddy in the mirror want different things, but both want to live life and not just exist. Or perhaps the reflection is just trying to warn him. You do a good job of getting us into the character's head and what drives him. Let's hope he takes the right road now.


 Comment Written 06-Oct-2019



reply by the author on 06-Oct-2019
    Thank you for the review I am glad you liked it
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