-Nice artwork and
-The syllable count is good,
and you have met the
requirements for a haiku.
-Good nature imagery
with colors describing the horizon,
and a very good satori line.
-From reading reviews,
you worked very hard on
this and deserve the review for it.
Comment Written 12-Nov-2019
reply by the author on 12-Nov-2019
Oh, thanks so much for reviewing it for me. I'm lucky to receive your kind remarks!
reply by Pam (respa) on 12-Nov-2019
You are very welcome. I look forward to getting to know you and your work better. You are a good writer.
This is way off the mark from what the contest requires in so many ways:
Title should be: haiku (plump dark clouds gather).
You are not allowed to use capital letters and you have.
The first two lines should be interconnected and are two separate statements.
The biggest error lies in the syllable counts:
"Plump (1) dark (1) clouds (1) gather (2)" = 5 syllables.
"Sunbeams (2) shoot (1) and (1) surround (2) heavy (2) gray (1) clouds (1)" = 10 syllables.
"spreading (2) orange-red (3) radiance (3)" = 8 syllables; your total is 23 syllables and this form requires a syllable count of 17 or LESS.
Good luck in the voting and thank you very much for sharing it.
Comment Written 05-Oct-2019
reply by the author on 05-Oct-2019
Appreciate your criticism and I shall be more diligent next time.