Lay of the Land
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Contests

Rhyming Poetry Contest
Deadline: Tomorrow!

100 Word Flash Fiction
Deadline: In 5 Days

Haiku Poetry Contest
Deadline: In 6 Days

ABC Poetry Contest
Deadline: Mar 9th

6 Word Poetry
Deadline: Mar 13th


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Reviews from
haiku (red and orange fingers)


the sunset forgives

  4 total reviews 
Comment by
Pam (respa)
Premier Author
Premier Reader
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  15
Author Rating For Short Works
 
Review Stars
  Rank:  29
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
-Nice artwork and
presentation, Marilyn.
-The syllable count is good,
and you have met the
requirements for a haiku.
-Good nature imagery
with colors describing the horizon,
and a very good satori line.
-From reading reviews,
you worked very hard on
this and deserve the review for it.


 Comment Written 12-Nov-2019



reply by the author on 12-Nov-2019
    Oh, thanks so much for reviewing it for me. I'm lucky to receive your kind remarks!

reply by Pam (respa) on 12-Nov-2019
    You are very welcome. I look forward to getting to know you and your work better. You are a good writer.
Comment by
lyenochka
Premier Author
Premier Reader
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  5
Author Rating For Short Works
  Rank:  4
Author Rating For Novels
  Rank:  8
Script Rating
  Rank:  4 (+1)
Review Stars
  Rank:  5
 

#4 Ranked Author

#8 Ranked Novelist

#5 Ranked Poet

#4 Ranked Script Writer

#5 Ranked Reviewer
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
I like your personification of the sunset having "red and orange fingers" which are touching the earth at the close of the day with God's forgiveness and peace.


 Comment Written 04-Nov-2019



reply by the author on 04-Nov-2019
    Oh, thanks so very much! Your review means a lot.
Comment by
Mystic Angel 7777
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  Rank:  67
 
Average
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
This is way off the mark from what the contest requires in so many ways:
Title should be: haiku (plump dark clouds gather).
You are not allowed to use capital letters and you have.
The first two lines should be interconnected and are two separate statements.
The biggest error lies in the syllable counts:
"Plump (1) dark (1) clouds (1) gather (2)" = 5 syllables.
"Sunbeams (2) shoot (1) and (1) surround (2) heavy (2) gray (1) clouds (1)" = 10 syllables.
"spreading (2) orange-red (3) radiance (3)" = 8 syllables; your total is 23 syllables and this form requires a syllable count of 17 or LESS.
Good luck in the voting and thank you very much for sharing it.


 Comment Written 05-Oct-2019



reply by the author on 05-Oct-2019
    Appreciate your criticism and I shall be more diligent next time.
Comment by
2014 Story Writer Of The Year
humpwhistle
Level 9 Pro
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  Rank:  5
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  Rank:  176
 

#5 Ranked Author
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
I suspect you didn't read the rules for this contest thoroughly.
17 is the outside limit for syllables. I believe you've over-achieved.
Perhaps you'll want to try again?

Peace, Lee


 Comment Written 05-Oct-2019



reply by the author on 05-Oct-2019
    Yes, I read, but needed to re-read. Thanks for pointing that out!
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