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Reviews from
Merwin's Cafe


A typical Friday night at the town's hottest eatery

  9 total reviews 
Comment by
2016 and 2018 Script Write Of The Year
judiverse
Premier Author
Premier Reader
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  32
Author Rating For Short Works
  Rank:  6
Author Rating For Novels
 
Script Rating
  Rank:  1
Review Stars
  Rank:  46
 

#6 Ranked Author

#1 Ranked Script Writer!
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
Glad you entered the script contest. This sounds like a slice-of-life scene, and the atmosphere is great. So is the dialogue. Regretful that it is, I'm sure some men refer to women the way these characters do. Clear use of dialogue and stage directions. You might start off with listing the characters. judi


 Comment Written 11-Oct-2019



reply by the author on 11-Oct-2019
    Glad you enjoyed this script. Appreciate your insights and the review.

reply by judiverse on 11-Oct-2019
    You're welcome. judi
Comment by
2019 Script Writer of the Year
Bill Schott
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  67 (+1)
Author Rating For Short Works
  Rank:  35
Author Rating For Novels
  Rank:  25
Script Rating
  Rank:  4
Review Stars
  Rank:  23
 

#4 Ranked Script Writer
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
This scene from a Friday night at Merwin's All-You-Can Eat Cafe finds a lot of sad souls collecting here like a version of Piano Man. Brody and Zander are the self-elevated commentators who don't seem to realize they are front and center in this depressing scene. Fun stuff.


 Comment Written 08-Oct-2019



reply by the author on 10-Oct-2019
    Glad you enjoyed this story. Appreciate your insights and the review.
Comment by
nancy_e_davis
Level 1 Pro
Premier Poet
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  Rank:  87
 
Excellent
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This sounds like a couple of old maids gossiping about the people in the Caf√?¬©, but I suppose old men can gossip too.
I don't know much about scripts, Thomas, but this seems to have all the bells and whistles it takes to write one. It is Interesting. Nancy:)

I'm sorry I called you Thomas Bret. His name was right there with yours and I assumed I was reviewing his work,
My Bad? Apologies. Nancy:)


 Comment Written 07-Oct-2019



reply by the author on 10-Oct-2019
    Glad you enjoyed this story. Appreciate the review.
Comment by
BeasPeas
Premier Author
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Poet Rating
  Rank:  39
Author Rating For Short Works
 
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Review Stars
  Rank:  12
 
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Hi Brett. I think you've done a good job with this interesting dialogue between two jaded friends who probably are of the same caliber of those they are people watching. Reminds me a bit of the movie "Marty" in which a group of bored unmarried men discuss what they want to do for the weekend. The use of the black and white image with red stool tops pinpoints the era and the mood of the piece. Marilyn


 Comment Written 06-Oct-2019



reply by the author on 10-Oct-2019
    Glad you enjoyed this story. Appreciate your insights and the review.
Comment by
Sallyo
Level 3 Pro
I am Australian.
Therefore, I write like an Australian.
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  109
Author Rating For Short Works
 
Author Rating For Novels
  Rank:  10
Script Rating
 
Review Stars
  Rank:  50
 

#10 Ranked Novelist
Excellent
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It took me a while to get into tune with this script, as the characters seemed to be describing what they could see rather than conversing naturally. Then I realised that IS the point. They're describing the coming and going...


 Comment Written 06-Oct-2019



reply by the author on 10-Oct-2019
    Glad you enjoyed this posting. Appreciate your comments and the review.
Comment by
Cindy Warren
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  Rank:  44
 
Excellent
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I haven't seen a cafe like that in years. I can easily imagine your story taking place here. The characters are real and believable. Good luck in the contest.


 Comment Written 06-Oct-2019



reply by the author on 08-Oct-2019
    Glad you enjoyed this script. Appreciate your insights and the review.
Comment by
2019 Novelist of the Year
Ulla
Premier Author
Premier Reader
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  112 (+6)
Author Rating For Short Works
 
Author Rating For Novels
  Rank:  2
Review Stars
  Rank:  48
 

#2 Ranked Novelist
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
Hi Brett, this is a fine script as far as I can see. but, of course, I don't know a lot about the. What I do like is the two old friends meeting up in the bar. that's a fine scene. All best. Ulla:))


 Comment Written 06-Oct-2019



reply by the author on 08-Oct-2019
    Glad you enjoyed this script. Appreciate your review.
Comment by
damommy
Premier Author
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  21
Author Rating For Short Works
 
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Review Stars
  Rank:  35
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
I like the scene with two old friends spending their Friday night in the same old place every week, watching who comes and goes. The dialogue is very natural, just like I'd expect. I liked how calm the night is in their usual 'haunt.'


 Comment Written 06-Oct-2019



reply by the author on 08-Oct-2019
    Glad you enjoyed this script. Appreciate the review.
Comment by
tim dodd
Premier Author
Premier Reader
 
Poet Rating
 
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Excellent
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its a good script I enjoyed it
kept me entertained throughout
there was a lot going on and it was
well written. Maybe something should happen like an
argument or a fight over the juke box


 Comment Written 06-Oct-2019



reply by the author on 08-Oct-2019
    Glad you enjoyed this script. Appreciate the suggestion and review.
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