Contact Us | En español
   
         Join today or login

Status

New Here?
Sign Up
Fast! Three Questions.

Already a member?
Login

Contests

This Sentence Starts The Story
Deadline: In 2 Days

Faith Poetry Contest
Deadline: Jul 22nd

3 Line Poetry Contest
Deadline: Jul 24th

Horror Writing Contest
Deadline: Jul 27th

Tanka Poetry Contest
Deadline: Jul 31st


Writing Classes

0 classes available. Click here locate a class and to learn more.

Rank

Poet: None
Author: None
Novel: None
Reviewer:None
Votes: None

Recommended


Categories


Write


Reviews from
Aaron's Dragons


Viewing comments for Chapter 11 "The Black Dragon"

An aging knight finds a clutch of dragon eggs

  11 total reviews 
Comment by
Sallyo
Level 3 Pro
I am Australian.
Therefore, I write like an Australian.
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  156
Author Rating For Short Works
 
Author Rating For Novels
  Rank:  21
Script Rating
 
Review Stars
  Rank:  637
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
Aaron shows a good deal of commonsense with some compassion built in. He's the perfect warden for these dragons. This book is coming along beautifully, with never a dull paragraph or misplaced beat. Sorry I didn't review this before... I've been sick.


 Comment Written 16-Oct-2019


reply by the author on 16-Oct-2019
    Thanks. Sometimes you just have to curl up in bed for a couple of days. Glad you're back.
Comment by
tfawcus
Level 2 Pro
Premier Author
Premier Reader
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  27
Author Rating For Short Works
 
Author Rating For Novels
  Rank:  13
Review Stars
  Rank:  48
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
A bit of a juggling act with all these dragons emerging and interacting. Good dialogue and you're setting up an interesting situation with the Black Dragon.


 Comment Written 14-Oct-2019


reply by the author on 15-Oct-2019
    Thanks. Black is going to be hurting for a few days. I'm still trying to decide how he comes out of it. Is he evil or hungry and not too bright?

reply by tfawcus on 15-Oct-2019
    I'd go for both. At least a little evil, to keep the rest of them on their toes!
Comment by
brenda bickers
Premier Author
Premier Reader
 
Poet Rating
 
Author Rating For Short Works
 
Review Stars
 
 
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level
Hi Cindy,
I am really enjoying this story. Each chapter just makes me want to keep reading. I have fallen in love with the little dragons and all their different personalities. poor Black, I do hope he learns to behave, although it's nice to know that one of them is going to be a handful.
I love it.
Brenda.x


 Comment Written 14-Oct-2019


reply by the author on 14-Oct-2019
    Thanks for the six! I'm so glad you're still enjoying the dragons. Black's a handful. He and Red will not get along. I just posted the next chapter.
Comment by
2018 Novelist of the Year.
2017 Short Works and 2017 Script Writer of the Year.
Thomas Bowling
Premier Author
 
Review Stars
  Rank:  171
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
You've written a colorful and entertaining story. My youngest son has white-blond hair. When he worked at a sushi restaurant, they called him White Dragon.


 Comment Written 13-Oct-2019


reply by the author on 14-Oct-2019
    Thanks. That's interesting, because the next chapter is the white dragon. Hope you will stay tuned.
Comment by
Jannypan (Jan)
Premier Author
Premier Reader
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  3
Author Rating For Short Works
  Rank:  18
Author Rating For Novels
 
Review Stars
  Rank:  9
 

#3 Ranked Poet
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
I enjoyed your chapter, Cindy. You packed a lot of information into this one. Everything fits to carry the story. The part about the horse thieves was interesting, and the outcome believable. It seems with each new day the danger increases for all. Thanks of sharing. Respectfully with Love, Jan


 Comment Written 13-Oct-2019


reply by the author on 13-Oct-2019
    Thanks. I'm glad you found it interesting and believable. Yep, there's more danger coming.
Comment by
juliaSjames
Premier Author
Premier Reader
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  132
Author Rating For Short Works
 
Author Rating For Novels
 
Review Stars
  Rank:  308
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
A good chapter. Black has a reluctant champion in Aaron. White is portrayed as beautiful but cold. My, those little dragons dominated the scene. Nice that Duane and Purple are bonding.

Aaron's leadership qualities are developing because of the crisis in the land. However I wonder if we've seen the last of those men he drove away.

Blessings Julia


 Comment Written 13-Oct-2019


reply by the author on 13-Oct-2019
    Thanks. White's personality will come out more in the next chapter. I'm not sure yet, but I think these men are too stupid to get away. They haven't seen the dragons, but they'll spill about the knight they believe was sent to kill the witch.
Comment by
2014 Novelist and 2016 Short Works Writer Of The Year
Phyllis Stewart
Premier Writer
Premier Reader
 
Poet Rating
 
Author Rating For Short Works
 
Author Rating For Novels
 
Review Stars
  
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
Would the gold egg have a gold dragon? Will Black survive and behave himself? How will these dragons impact Aaron and the boy? I hope there's not a lot of bloodshed and killing. :)


 Comment Written 13-Oct-2019


reply by the author on 13-Oct-2019
    Thanks. A purple egg surprised everyone by hatching a black dragon. A gold egg held a white and gold dragon. Black won't behave. That would be dull. It won't get too bloody. I want to keep it suitable for young readers.
Comment by
Ricky1024
Premier Author
Premier Reader
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  180 (+12)
Author Rating For Short Works
  Rank:  157
Author Rating For Novels
  Rank:  16
Script Rating
 
Review Stars
  Rank:  313
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
"The Black Dragon"
Was well written and rich in Theme and Imagery.
...
It read well and Flowed well with no Grammar Issues as well.
...
Adjective and Objective Contents were both Excellent and Exceptional while Descriptive Measures aligned Perfectly.
Doctor Ricky 1024


 Comment Written 13-Oct-2019


reply by the author on 13-Oct-2019
    Thanks, Ricky. I hope you will stay tuned for the rest of the story. There are still eggs to hatch and Aaron is in for plenty of trouble.

reply by Ricky1024 on 13-Oct-2019
    Okay.
    Ricky
Comment by
Mistydawn
Premier Author
Premier Reader
 
Author Rating For Short Works
 
Author Rating For Novels
  Rank:  11
Script Rating
 
Review Stars
  Rank:  79
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
Really, you had to stop there? Why are you being so cruel? lol. The story is well-written, very interesting believable. Black may be a little turd, but I'm glad he's going to be alright. Glad the two intruders didn't cause any trouble. I look forward to finding out what comes out of the gold egg.


 Comment Written 13-Oct-2019


reply by the author on 13-Oct-2019
    Thanks. Yeah, I have to keep you in suspense. Do you think being in a world of hurt for a few days will wise Black up? And the intruders haven't caused any trouble yet. What happens if they get caught? I'm being awful, aren't I? LOL

reply by Mistydawn on 13-Oct-2019
    You just had to add to my suspense. Thanks a lot. lol.
Comment by
lyenochka
Premier Author
Premier Reader
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  4
Author Rating For Short Works
  Rank:  5
Author Rating For Novels
  Rank:  2
Script Rating
  Rank:  2
Review Stars
  Rank:  3
 

#5 Ranked Author
#2 Ranked Novelist

#4 Ranked Poet
#2 Ranked Script Writer

#3 Ranked Reviewer
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
I like how you keep the personalities consistent even though all I can imagine about them is the colorful names. I wonder if it's a wise thing to let the men go but perhaps it's safer for Aaron and the dragons not to associate with more people to care for.

This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.


 Comment Written 13-Oct-2019


reply by the author on 13-Oct-2019
    Thanks. It wasn't wise. He could not let them see the dragons, and he couldn't bring himself to kill them. It may come back to haunt him if these fools get caught. Have to have some excitement!
  -1-  2  Next Page 


Market your book.
Advertising options.
A Marriage Story
Give me Twenty


Share or Bookmark
  Contact Us | En español | Advertise With Us

© 2015 FanStory.com, Inc. All Rights Reserved. Terms under which this service is provided to you. Privacy