Just horrible. I don't know why I am reading the entries in this contest. They are creeping me out for sure. Yours is one of the worst. Tommy sounds like such a good kid, doing manual labor on his parent's farm. He deserved better than your ending.
Obviously, you have told a complete story, and it is definitely horrible. Good job and good luck in this awful contest. This is a good entry.
Comment Written 15-Oct-2019
reply by the author on 15-Oct-2019
lol! thank God it's fiction! i appreciate though that you took time to read and found it met the contest requirements even if it was a little unnerving. xoxo
I'm sorry, but I am never going to 'enjoy' horror. Your 3 sentences are well constructed and definitely deliver a horrifying situation, but how distressing this would be for anyone to read who has been confronted by a loved one's death by murder or suicide.
Comment Written 14-Oct-2019
reply by the author on 14-Oct-2019
Yikes! thankfully this is fiction, and I hope no one would ever find their loved one as described here. :( Thank you though for your review. No one puts a notice of how gory it can be or not. I certainly do not mean to offend anyone, least of all you, my friend.
reply by LisaMay on 14-Oct-2019
I know that no offense is intended - I am just squeamish. xx
Oh, my.....that's quite dreadful and gory! You should probably put a warning on this one for violence.... Also, in your second sentence the first portion set off in commas [After being gone for many hours and no sign of his return] does not match the noun that it should be modifying [Tommy's family]. Good luck at the polls... :) ;)
Comment Written 13-Oct-2019
reply by the author on 13-Oct-2019
Thanks! Got it! I?ll review again! Appreciate your awesome feedback!