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Story of my life

  39 total reviews 
Comment by
lyenochka
Premier Author
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Poet Rating
  Rank:  3
Author Rating For Short Works
  Rank:  4
Author Rating For Novels
  Rank:  2
Script Rating
  Rank:  2
Review Stars
  Rank:  3
 

#4 Ranked Author
#2 Ranked Novelist

#3 Ranked Poet
#2 Ranked Script Writer

#3 Ranked Reviewer
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
What a great way to summarize a life story into just 150 words! From chicken coop to life on the lake with Prince Charming! Wonderful! I am so glad you could get out of that union with a philandering philosopher!
Congratulations on the win!!!


 Comment Written 04-Nov-2019


reply by the author on 05-Nov-2019
    Thank you. Life is good.
Comment by
Ms. Snyder
 
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Hi Ms. Larson,
I enjoyed the story immensely as I have lived in Appalachia and I understand the level of poverty there. I also understand what it is like to have the finer things in life as well. So I really connected with your story.

However I do have one nit, (think of a mother or grandmother offering this note:) Not scolding in any way.
In this sentence:
"I married who I thought was a nice guy, but who turned out to be philosopher who didn't believe in working for a living."
If you put the article (a) between (be and philosopher) it makes more sense. Now being that you are exactly at 150 words you may have omitted it, but here is my suggestion. In your last sentence change the following words from We now live to Now living and your word count will still be on point. I also can't believe that no one pointed this out prior to your contest win.

Congratulations! I think that they may have just said well it made sense, and I just saw that you won first place and that is great. I just want you to be aware of that small issue for a reader that has a more "grammar- centered" eye. Cheers, Fonda


 Comment Written 03-Nov-2019


reply by the author on 03-Nov-2019
    Thank you! I was a newspaper columnist for almost 20 years and I wish I?d had a copy editor who nit picked like that! I was writing on deadline and mine as I reread some of them, they could have used s little polishing.
Comment by
tammy novella
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Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level
An excellent composition of words beautifully described. A lovely heartfelt story. Your writing soothes my soul. Enjoy your happily ever after writers life.


 Comment Written 03-Nov-2019


reply by the author on 03-Nov-2019
    Thank you so much for your kind words and the six stars.

reply by tammy novella on 04-Nov-2019
    Sincerely :-)
Comment by
Sylvia Page
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  Rank:  440
 
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Congratulations! How can anyone live in a chicken coop? I cannot imagine that leave alone being born there. I am glad it turned out well for you after unhappy marriages.

...but who turned out to be (a) philosopher who didn't believe in working for a living.
Best Wishes
Sylvia


 Comment Written 25-Oct-2019


reply by the author on 25-Oct-2019
    It had been converted into a house. It still is there being used as a storage building. My first husband was the philosopher. Thank you for your review. I banged it out six hours before dadline!
Comment by
dbmccarter
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Wow! What a complete auto biography in so few words. All of us could learn from your style and I'm glad you won the contest. Not one unnecessary word. Great Job


 Comment Written 21-Oct-2019


reply by the author on 21-Oct-2019
    Thank you. Those were the high (and low) points.
Comment by
2014 Story Writer Of The Year
humpwhistle
Level 9 Pro
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  Rank:  62
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  Rank:  2
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  Rank:  61
 

#2 Ranked Author
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Well done, Susan. And congratulations on your win.
I guess you had to kiss at least one frog to find your Prince Charming.
The good life has its costs.

Peace, Lee


 Comment Written 21-Oct-2019


reply by the author on 21-Oct-2019
    Yes, so glad to have the frog out of my life. Thank you for your comments.
Comment by
shaffer40
 
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Excellent
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This is a competent summation of many years of living. I doubt if this writing surprises you (as suggested in the prompt); you are well aware of where you came from and how you developed a lovely life. Well done.


 Comment Written 21-Oct-2019


reply by the author on 21-Oct-2019
    Thank you. I guess the high points really stand out.

reply by shaffer40 on 21-Oct-2019
    Indeed.
Comment by
Raul1
JOSE CONDE
Miami
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  216 (+2)
Author Rating For Short Works
  Rank:  155 (+2)
Review Stars
  Rank:  60
 
Excellent
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Congratulations on winning the 150 word contest! A proud achievement! Well deserved! I like your story. Thanks for sharing! Excellent work! No grammatical errors.


 Comment Written 21-Oct-2019


reply by the author on 21-Oct-2019
    Thank you!
Comment by
Raul1
JOSE CONDE
Miami
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  216 (+2)
Author Rating For Short Works
  Rank:  155 (+2)
Review Stars
  Rank:  60
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
Congratulations on winning the 150 word contest! A proud achievement! Well deserved! I like your story. Thanks for sharing! Excellent work! No grammatical errors.


 Comment Written 21-Oct-2019


reply by the author on 21-Oct-2019
    Thank you.

reply by Raul1 on 21-Oct-2019
    You're welcome.
Comment by
Cindy Warren
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  Rank:  19
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  Rank:  129
 
Excellent
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I'm so glad the second fellow turned out to be Mr. Right. It's hard to put your life into so few words, and you did a wonderful job, from the chicken coop to the home on the lake. Good luck in the contest.


 Comment Written 21-Oct-2019


reply by the author on 21-Oct-2019
    Thank you. For many of us love is better the second time around.
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