Contact Us | En español    
         Join today or login

Status

New Here?
Sign Up
Fast! Three Questions.

Already a member?
Login

Contests

5-7-5 Poem
Deadline: Tomorrow!

This Sentence Starts The Story
Deadline: In 6 Days

Faith Poetry Contest
Deadline: Jul 22nd

3 Line Poetry Contest
Deadline: Jul 24th

Horror Writing Contest
Deadline: Jul 27th


Writing Classes

0 classes available. Click here locate a class and to learn more.

Rank

Poet: None
Author: None
Novel: None
Reviewer:None
Votes: None






Reviews from
Horse-Hawks -- Conclusion


Shoot-out at the Tired-T

  17 total reviews 
Comment by
Pantygynt
Premier Author
Premier Reader
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  83
Author Rating For Short Works
 
Author Rating For Novels
  Rank:  4
Script Rating
 
Review Stars
  Rank:  30
 

#4 Ranked Novelist
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
Hardly an unexpected ending, but the only twists in the tale you are likely to come across in a horse opera are the twists in the horses' tails if you catch my meaning. Sorry but the style is catching.

Of all the euphemisms I have heard or read for 'dead' I like 'permanently speechless' best.

'By his aural assessment,' I'm afraid this smacks of too much education for the average cowpoke, even one who is an ex-deputy, and it really jarred with me. I doubt if he could even pronounce it properly. 'From what he could hear' might be more appropriate I thought.

From my occular assessment of this I can say I enjoyed it hugely.


 Comment Written 19-Oct-2019



reply by the author on 19-Oct-2019
    Thank you, Jim, and your point is well taken. In my defense, the 'aural assessment' is part of the narration. Still, I know I often blur the lines between narration and dialogue, so I concede.
    True, Westerns are predictable. Especially when most of the characters comprise an ensemble. I very much appreciate your indulgence, Jim. Westerns have limited popularity on this site.

    Thanks again. Peace, Lee
Comment by
Cindy Warren
Premier Author
Premier Reader
 
Poet Rating
 
Author Rating For Short Works
 
Author Rating For Novels
  Rank:  21
Review Stars
  Rank:  133
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
Great story. I guess they mostly got what they wanted, except for the ones that got themselves dead. Maisy's going to be crabby for a while, but she'll keep her horses, at least til the next lot of outlaws shows up.


 Comment Written 19-Oct-2019



reply by the author on 20-Oct-2019
    Thank you, Cindy. Honestly, I think Maisy has a lot to be crabby about. But that's another story. Peace, Lee
Comment by
Gail Denham
Premier Author
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  156 (+1)
Author Rating For Short Works
 
Review Stars
  Rank:  184
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
Often on TV the gun battles are so confusing - I think you did a good job of keeping things clear in this chapter. The players were accounted for - altho a couple had similar names - might have helped to vary the names a good bit.


 Comment Written 19-Oct-2019



reply by the author on 20-Oct-2019
    Thank you, Gail. Yes, it's hard to keep action scenes cogent. That's why I usually avoid writing them. Thanks again. Peace, Lee
Comment by
Mistydawn
Premier Author
Premier Reader
 
Author Rating For Short Works
 
Author Rating For Novels
  Rank:  11
Script Rating
 
Review Stars
  Rank:  78
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
I love your ending. It's well-written, suspenseful from beginning to end. Your characters seem real, believable, really came to life. I'm so glad it turned out the way it did. Nice job with your story. This is coming from someone who's never been a big fan of westerns. My uncle used to watch them all weekend when I was little which burnt me out.


 Comment Written 19-Oct-2019



reply by the author on 20-Oct-2019
    Thank you, Mistydawn. Yes, a lot of people feel that way about Westerns. To me, they track better on the page than on film. Thanks again. Peace, Lee
Comment by
nancy_e_davis
Level 1 Pro
Premier Poet
Premier Reader
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  69 (+2)
Author Rating For Short Works
 
Author Rating For Novels
 
Review Stars
  Rank:  66
 
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level
"The next morning, Sturdy, DeVoe, Ramon, and Jacobs set out to retrieve Jule's herd. Cacklin' Bob stayed behind to see to Maisy."
Somewhere in there they should have taken care of all the dead bodies. Can't just leave them laying in the yard. My son and I sit and pick apart all the things they forget to do in westerns. 'Like,' A real cowboy would never go in a saloon to drink and forget to let out the cinch on his horses saddle. I hate it when they toss away a canteen when it is empty. Why wouldn't they keep it to fill at the next water hole? Sometimes, on the desert they lose their hat and later they have it on again. This is really good. I could follow the gunfight action. Poor Maisy, the only one wounded. She is the heroine of the story. Well done, Lee. Nancy:)


 Comment Written 19-Oct-2019



reply by the author on 22-Oct-2019
    Thank you, Nancy. You are absolutely right. I amended the end--leaving the burial duties to Bob. Like you, I also cringe when idiots throw their empty canteens away! C'mon! Glad you're paying attention, Nancy. Peace, Lee

reply by nancy_e_davis on 22-Oct-2019
    I love the Westerns on TV. I'm also prone to Hallmark. Most movies of today are too violent, too fast to keep up with. Too loud or you can't hear them. I should read more. LOL Good job, Lee. Keep it up. Nancy:)

reply by the author on 22-Oct-2019
    I'm with you! When we read, we control the volume. L
Comment by
Joy Graham
I think in ink
Write on!
 
Review Stars
  Rank:  91
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
Hi Lee,

This is a fine Saturday morning western to read :) What can be more fun than humpwhistle special?

- "...and (a) four stout men..." - this is in your, "The skinny so far" blurb at the too.

- I L-O-V-E that you said, "barebacked Helen" - such a wonderful show and not tell moment. MY imagination saw it perfectly :)

- "I don't think so (Maisey)" - Up to now you have spelled it, Maisy without an e.(This also makes me laugh at the memory of Hank Azaria's character in Night in the Museum when his bad guy character lisps, "I don't think tho".

- got a giggle out of, "Si, Derkson and my dead wife heard it too, Coot". (sorry if I didn't quote it exactly. Just wanted to let you know it made me lol :) It's a great line.

Nobody writes quite like you do, Lee :) Reading your stories is like attending a master class on writing. I learn from your fine example. Wish I had an ounce of your talent. Sorry to be out of sixes.

Joy xx






This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.


 Comment Written 19-Oct-2019



reply by the author on 22-Oct-2019
    Thanks so much, Joy. Yes, I love inventing verbs like 'barebacked'.
    I also appreciate the spag alerts. So glad someone still enjoys Westerns. Peace, Lee
Comment by
Bill Pinder
Premier Author
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  38
Author Rating For Short Works
  Rank:  64
Author Rating For Novels
  Rank:  29
Review Stars
  Rank:  27
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
Good chapter about this western full of horse thieves in the shoot out at the ranch. Great job with the cowboy names and language. Keep on writing those westerns.
Bill

This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.


 Comment Written 19-Oct-2019



reply by the author on 19-Oct-2019
    Thanks so much, Bill. I'm afraid there isn't a big audience for Westerns on this site. Glad you enjoyed. Peace, Lee
  Previous Page  1  -2-   Next Page 


Market your book.
Advertising options.
Burial of a Pharaoh and Ghosts.
Hatshepsut - Egypt's Greatest Woman Pharaoh


Share or Bookmark
  Contact Us | En español | Advertise With Us

© 2015 FanStory.com, Inc. All Rights Reserved. Terms under which this service is provided to you. Privacy