Contact Us | En español    
         Join today or login

Status

New Here?
Sign Up
Fast! Three Questions.

Already a member?
Login

Contests

Nonet Poetry Contest
Deadline: Tomorrow!

Acrostic Poetry Contest
Deadline: In 3 Days

Sonnet Poetry Contest
Deadline: Nov 20th

True Story Flash
Deadline: Nov 22nd

Write A Script
Deadline: Nov 25th


Writing Classes

0 classes available. Click here locate a class and to learn more.

Rank

Poet: None
Author: None
Novel: None
Reviewer:None
Votes: None






Reviews from
Witches on a Mission


A Fun Halloween treat for Kids

  21 total reviews 
Comment by
Rikki66
Premier Author
Premier Reader
 
Poet Rating
 
Author Rating For Short Works
  Rank:  61
Script Rating
 
Review Stars
  Rank:  63
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
Double double toil and trouble the witches plot child trouble, rid the town of little tykes to sweeten up the night. then the candy and costume industry can blame the witches and not the churches.
Rikki


 Comment Written 23-Oct-2019



reply by the author on 24-Oct-2019
    Thank you Rikki for your review, glad you liked this fun post about the witches and their revenge on the kids, love Dolly x

reply by Rikki66 on 24-Oct-2019
    it was very entertaining
    Rikki
Comment by
Sandra du Plessis
Premier Author
Premier Reader
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  2
Author Rating For Short Works
  Rank:  39
Author Rating For Novels
 
Review Stars
  
 Rank:  3
 

#2 Ranked Poet

#3 Ranked Reviewer
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
A very well-written scary poem about the witches' mission for Halloween night. The children should take care and don't talk to strangers on their quest for trick and treating.


 Comment Written 22-Oct-2019



reply by the author on 22-Oct-2019
    Thank you Sandra for your review, love Dolly x
Comment by
lyenochka
Premier Author
Premier Reader
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  3
Author Rating For Short Works
  Rank:  9
Author Rating For Novels
  Rank:  2
Script Rating
  Rank:  4
Review Stars
  Rank:  5
 

#9 Ranked Author

#2 Ranked Novelist

#3 Ranked Poet

#4 Ranked Script Writer

#5 Ranked Reviewer
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
An entertaining piece and if any adult threatens to cut off internet or take away cell phones, I suppose that would be the definition of a "witch" these days! Best wishes in the contest!

By the way, you probably want to make that last sentence several sentences as it's a run-on.


 Comment Written 21-Oct-2019



reply by the author on 22-Oct-2019
    Thank you Helen for your review, not sure what you mean by a ?run-one Helen, can you explain? Love Dolly x

reply by lyenochka on 22-Oct-2019
    Perhaps that's an American English grammar term. In school, we were taught when we had too many sentences in one sentence, it is called a run-on sentence. Your last sentence is:
    "The witches chuckled to themselves, this was a mission they were going to enjoy and Halloween will be a peaceful event this year, no more kids knocking doors and bothering the neighbours!"

    It could have been :
    The witches chuckled to themselves, this was a mission they were going to enjoy. Halloween will be a peaceful event this year -- no more kids knocking doors and bothering the neighbours!
Comment by
Ricky1024
Premier Author
Premier Reader
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  121 (+1)
Author Rating For Short Works
  Rank:  258
Author Rating For Novels
  Rank:  17
Script Rating
 
Review Stars
  Rank:  40
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
This is a "Halloween Flash Fiction Contest Entry"
Rich in Theme and Imagery.
...
It read well and Flowed well with no Grammar Issues as well.
...
Adjective and Objective Contents were both Excellent and Exceptional while Descriptive Measures aligned Perfectly.
...
Good luck with this and have a great day.
Doctor Ricky 1024


 Comment Written 21-Oct-2019



reply by the author on 21-Oct-2019
    Thank you Ricky for your review, much appreciated, love Dolly x
Comment by
Bill Schott
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  41
Author Rating For Short Works
  Rank:  59
Author Rating For Novels
  Rank:  21
Script Rating
  Rank:  2
Review Stars
  Rank:  44
 

#2 Ranked Script Writer
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
This Halloween flash fiction story, Witches on a Mission, finds those conjurers up to no good. No kids? No screaming sweeties? No smashed pumpkins or waxed windows?


 Comment Written 21-Oct-2019



reply by the author on 21-Oct-2019
    Thank you Bill for your review, yes Bill, we are going to rid the towns of kids for Halloween! Enjoy it! Love Dolly x
Comment by
LisaMay
Premier Author
Premier Reader
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  10
Author Rating For Short Works
  Rank:  4
Author Rating For Novels
  Rank:  58
Script Rating
 
Review Stars
  Rank:  22
 

#4 Ranked Author

#10 Ranked Poet
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
The only problem I see with the strategy outlined here is that the children will misbehave so they can be fed on all that candy. They won't care about rotten teeth, just the candy. I'd like to volunteer for the coven please - girls just wanna have fun.
It sounds like the children are going to a kibbutz or a communist collective farm - initially, great ideas for cooperative living, but the leaders always screw things up with political powermongering.


 Comment Written 21-Oct-2019



reply by the author on 21-Oct-2019
    Thank you Lisa for your review, well the witches win when all their teeth fall out! Ha ha ha, love Dolly x

reply by LisaMay on 21-Oct-2019
    They won't be ankle-biters with no teeth.

reply by the author on 21-Oct-2019
    He he he x
Comment by
CrystieCookie999
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  79 (+3)
Author Rating For Short Works
  Rank:  72
Script Rating
 
Review Stars
  Rank:  9
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
This had an unusual twist at the end of the story, with the witches sounding somewhat more like religious zealots, as Sarah stated they would rid the town of obnoxious children by taking them 'to a farm where they will learn how to work the land and grow their own vegetables...work as a team' with any infractions being punished and fed candy to make their teeth fall out. I thought that definitely made me think twice about what witches' real motives were. Nice share.


 Comment Written 21-Oct-2019



reply by the author on 21-Oct-2019
    Ha ha ha, these devious witches had a wicked sense of humour here but I am inclined to agree, what is behind this behaviour! Something horrid! Thank you for your review, love Dolly x
Comment by
Jannypan (Jan)
Premier Author
Premier Reader
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  7
Author Rating For Short Works
  Rank:  59
Author Rating For Novels
 
Review Stars
  Rank:  23
 

#7 Ranked Poet
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
Haha, we only wish kids would do 'normal' things rather that be tied to their devices. I enjoyed you story, Dolly. Your lines read smoothly with great imagery and dialogue. I like the description of the grannies. Thanks for sharing and best wishes. Respectfully with Love, Jan


 Comment Written 20-Oct-2019



reply by the author on 21-Oct-2019
    Thank you Jan for your review, yes I agree with your words here, playing outside with a ball seems to be old hat! Love Dolly x
Comment by
damommy
Premier Author
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  19
Author Rating For Short Works
  Rank:  156
Author Rating For Novels
 
Review Stars
  Rank:  38
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
I like the idea of teaching children how to live productively and without electronic devices. Where can I join these ladies?

Very few children knock on doors these days. They go to school or church parties. It's safer.


 Comment Written 20-Oct-2019



reply by the author on 21-Oct-2019
    Thank you for your review, I shall send you an introductory pack so that you can join! All that is required is a ?mean streak? and a ?sense of humour?. Glad you liked this one, love Dolly x

reply by damommy on 21-Oct-2019
    I have both in abundance. lol

reply by the author on 21-Oct-2019
    He he he x
Comment by
Robert Zimmerman
Premier Author
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  47
Author Rating For Short Works
  Rank:  20
Review Stars
  Rank:  12
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
Hi Dolly. I think taking the internet devices and boiling them in a pot is a wonderful idea. In our town several churches have "trunk or treat" night. The members park in the lot and open their car trunks full of candy. The kids come by and get candy rather than go door Robert.


 Comment Written 20-Oct-2019



reply by the author on 21-Oct-2019
    Thank you Robert for your review, glad you liked this one, love Dolly x
  -1-  2 3  Next Page 


Market your book.
Advertising options.
St. Louis Chapter 17 part 1
Can McKenzie solve Megan Nelson?s murder?


Share or Bookmark
  Contact Us | En español | Advertise With Us

© 2015 FanStory.com, Inc. All Rights Reserved. Terms under which this service is provided to you. Privacy