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Reviews from
A Reluctant Star


Viewing comments for Chapter 28 "Girl Meets Boy"

A Novella

  16 total reviews 
Comment by
Pearl Edwards
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What a choice Tom was faced with so early in their romance, the easy way, the hard way or the middle of the road way. Another good chapter Jim,
cheers,
valda


 Comment Written 31-Oct-2019



reply by the author on 31-Oct-2019
    But not too difficult when one is infatuated with a fairy. Many thanks for reviewing.
Comment by
tfawcus
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Another good chapter, Jim. As far as I can see, not much changed from the original version. Interesting choices for Tom. The central one is, as you say, very much in line with Pilgrim's Progress. The three choices seem to equate to materialism, mainstream religions, and earth religions.


 Comment Written 23-Oct-2019



reply by the author on 24-Oct-2019
    You are in danger of imposing on this book a gravitas it probably doesn't really deserve, but thank you anyway.
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Ulla
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Hi Jim, this is an interesting chapter indeed. Was Derwen capable of controling Tom enterily, or was he capable of thinking for himself? An intriquing question. Well written as always. All best. Ulla:))


 Comment Written 23-Oct-2019



reply by the author on 24-Oct-2019
    I have said elsewhere that the Tylwyth cannot control humans but they can influence them. i think that applies here.
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Sylvia Page
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'This was the moment for his decision. If he chose correctly now, once the next fourteen years were done, we would be together for the rest of his life. It was time for me to ask the question, "Which road will you take, Tom? Which way will you go?"
It is obvious that Tom took the road that Derwen had in mind. Was she able to control his mind?
Yet another interesting chapter.
Sylvia


 Comment Written 23-Oct-2019



reply by the author on 23-Oct-2019
    Thank you for this well-considered review and the six wonderful stars. She definitely cannot control his mind. I have said somewhere else that the Tylwyth have no direct power of control over humans but they can exert influence over them. That argument lies at the very core of the book.
Comment by
dejohnsrld (Debbie)
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944 when Tom an eigteen year old(eighteen)

This is a well written and interesting chapter, and the choice given, a hard one. Welsh does sound very difficult to learn~Debbie


 Comment Written 22-Oct-2019



reply by the author on 23-Oct-2019
    Thanks for this review and for picking up that typo, which I have now rectified.
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Bill Pinder
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Excellent chapter in this interesting story about an interaction between a human and a fairy leading to their eventual marriage and lives together for many years. Great job weaving a believable story with interesting characters and dialogue.
Bill


 Comment Written 22-Oct-2019



reply by the author on 22-Oct-2019
    Thank you so much for this sensitive and complimentary review.
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sandramitchell
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Sandra S-Mitchell
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Well we all know what road he took, or Seren wouldn't be there. I wonder if this actually did happen, how many would make the choice to go with her. It's a lot to take in for mortal man. I think I'd go because it sounded so exciting, a lot better than Tom's life was at that time. Another wonderful chapter in this lovely story. :)) Sandra xxxx

I've asked Tom to remove my poem and it is now described as a ...
1 Minute and 20 seconds' poem!! lol. xxx


 Comment Written 21-Oct-2019



reply by the author on 21-Oct-2019
    But it is the travelling hopefully that is the story, not just the arrival. Thanks for reviewing this. I have rviewed my review of your 1.3333333 minutes poem and restarred it into the bargain

reply by sandramitchell on 21-Oct-2019
    LOL! I'm thinking of inventing the 60-minute poem, what do you think?? lol. Thanks for re-reviewing. Tom won't take it off. But, it will be disqualified, I thought it would before you explained the system. Why I didn't realise why it is called a minute poem, is beyond me! I'll put it down to senility!
    I agree, the journey is what it's about. The arrival is a long way down the road, and that is going to be so interesting. I'm off on holiday on Friday, so might not be able to read after Wednesday's part. We are cruising to Barbados, and I don't know if there will be internet on board. Hope so, if not I'll catch up when I get back. xxxx
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Dolly'sPoems
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I'm glad you have gone into more depth here about the time the two of them met and the conversation that took place and the dilemma Tom has in deciding at this point. I wonder if he ever thought that he might be dealing with a nut case? That thought didn't seem to come up which indicates how into Derwen he was. You are romantic at heart and it shows in your writing, much enjoyed, love Dolly x


 Comment Written 21-Oct-2019



reply by the author on 21-Oct-2019
    Thank you for this supportive review and its six star grading. They do say love is blind so perhaps, overcome by the magic of it all he is unable to detect the nuttiness, blinded by love!
Comment by
lyenochka
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I feel like Derwen's song mesmerized him and he chose the road under her spell. It's natural then that in his returned like, he turned to folk music. Using the song in this post is the perfect way to show us the connection between the two.


 Comment Written 20-Oct-2019



reply by the author on 21-Oct-2019
    A correct putting of two and two together I think. Thank you for thids six star review
Comment by
JudyE
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I look forward to Sundays and Wednesdays. :)

Mostly, I've suggested a few commas here and there.

Along, up or down? Any one, except the one you came in by of course. There would be no fun in that now would there?" - should there be commas after 'by' and 'now'? Maybe not.

But it in reality it is a wicked road, the road to hell, the hell of the battlefield that is." - 'it' is repeated at the beginning of this sentence and should there be commas round 'in reality'?

"So, that's ruled out the left hand path for now, then," I said, "How do you feel about the middle one?" - period after 'said'

we know where they'll end up don't we? - comma after 'up'

I thought he was beginning to realise the metaphorical slant to the choices he was being asked to make at last. - I might have said 'he was beginning to realise, at last, the metaphorical slant'

you said that you might show me your cottage, which lies that way, later." - I might have placed 'later' after 'cottage'. To me, it sounds a more natural speech pattern.

'"Fourteen years in all," said Tom almost to himself. - comma after 'Tom'

After a single, introductory verse the song changes key - comma after 'verse'

'"Don't you see yon steep and, narrow road, - should there be a comma after 'and'?
so thick beset with thorn and briar?

'"Don't you see yon bonnie, bonnie road?
If on that road you'd stretch your leg, - comma after 'road'?

Best wishes
Judy


 Comment Written 20-Oct-2019



reply by the author on 21-Oct-2019
    You nearly missed out yesterday. We had a lightning strike on Friday that cooked my home hub. I did not think BT would manage to get me a replacement by Saturday's post, but they did, so I was able to post as usual on Sunday. Thank you for your usual thorough review.
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