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Reviews from
Falling


An unfinished one...

  18 total reviews 
Comment by
robyn corum
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Poet Rating
  Rank:  9
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  Rank:  17
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  Rank:  40
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  Rank:  22
 

#9 Ranked Poet
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MJ,


Ummm... yeah. You have to continue it. This character is awesome. The setting is awesome. The whole premise is awesome. The descriptions of how Daisy feels inside her depression are nothing short of perfect.

Not only should you finish it, but you should hurry. I'm waiting. Go on.


 Comment Written 24-Oct-2019



reply by the author on 24-Oct-2019
    I have written some more, but I don't know when I'll be able to post it. I would like it to eventually turn into my Dissertation if possible. I have the whole story mapped out in my head, but there is a 'medical problem' I'm trying to solve with the help of two students who are doctors.
    Thanks for your kind review.

reply by robyn corum on 24-Oct-2019
    Anything I can help with?

reply by the author on 24-Oct-2019
    Thanks, but it's just that I need to kill a character off in a believable way...
    xxx
Comment by
brenda faye curtis
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I like the character development and the colorful descriptions of her descent into depression. It does seem to need a second chapter, as it feels like the story is stopped in the middle here. Looking forward to the next one!


 Comment Written 23-Oct-2019



reply by the author on 24-Oct-2019
    Yes, this is just one chapter.
    Thanks for reading.

reply by brenda faye curtis on 25-Oct-2019
    You're welcome.
Comment by
Dolly'sPoems
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#1 Ranked Poet!

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Well I hope you're going to finish this one Maria? Leaving us up in the air like that? Was she hit by the statue falling? Was she dead and going to heaven? Was she infused with life at the thought of a miracle, I have so many questions. Your writing has improved with your course and I thoroughly enjoyed your introduction of the story, but you must finish it! Please? Love Dolly x


 Comment Written 23-Oct-2019



reply by the author on 23-Oct-2019
    She wasn't hit by the statue, Dolly. But something happened to her when the shard got into her neck.
    I'm going to continue this and I'll try to post more, but I'm super busy now.
    Thanks for reading.
Comment by
Sandra du Plessis
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A very well-written introduction to a possible new story. When our lives change for the worse we are feeling depressed and many of our normal fun activities change to dreadful tasks we do not have the strength for.


 Comment Written 22-Oct-2019



reply by the author on 23-Oct-2019
    Thanks so much for reading. Have a lovely day.
Comment by
Teri7
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 Rank:  13
 
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Maria, This is a very interesting first chapter you have penned. You used very good descriptive words and your words kept me on edge reading this. I look forward to the second chapter. love and blessings, Teri


 Comment Written 21-Oct-2019



reply by the author on 23-Oct-2019
    Thanks so much for reading. Have a lovely day.
Comment by
Mystic Angel 7777
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#8 Ranked Script Writer

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I thought this very well penned and extremely engaging. It would make a great novel because it already contains some pretty resonate universal elements which will a appeal to a broad audience - loneliness, depression, the omen of the angel. Well done and thank you very much for sharing it.


 Comment Written 21-Oct-2019



reply by the author on 23-Oct-2019
    Thanks so much for reading. Have a lovely day.
Comment by
lyenochka
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#9 Ranked Author

#2 Ranked Novelist

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#5 Ranked Reviewer
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This is a great beginning! I hope you continue. You use that single bit of golden shard in her neck to start making me wonder if there is something magical about it. Why did the fire truck look so bright red? Could it have something to do with the statue?


 Comment Written 21-Oct-2019



reply by the author on 23-Oct-2019
    Thanks so much for reading. Have a lovely day.
Comment by
Robert Zimmerman
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  Rank:  45
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  Rank:  20
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  Rank:  12
 
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Hell Maria. I liked the transition of the story from the walk to the memories of Paco. I couldn't write a novel because of patience and short sentences. The sentence here that struck me is, "swallowed by her brain piece by piece, day after day." That is outstanding. Well done. I would read a follow up to this chapter. I am considering in my mind what inevitably happens to Daisy with the chard in her neck. Robert


 Comment Written 20-Oct-2019



reply by the author on 23-Oct-2019
    Thanks so much for reading. Have a lovely day.

reply by Robert Zimmerman on 23-Oct-2019
    You're welcome
Comment by
Sally Law
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  Rank:  6
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#6 Ranked Author

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I like this and it is clear she is depressed because she
lost her husband, her mind confused with jumbled thoughts. The end is a bit unclear though. It appears she may have either tried to commit suicide or was temporarily confused and fell. She appears to be alive, but semi-conscious. I hope for the next chapter, Maria.
Sending you my best today as always,
Sal xo


 Comment Written 20-Oct-2019



reply by the author on 23-Oct-2019
    A statue fell in front of her. It was an accident. She's alive, but the shard in her neck has 'miraculous' properties that will be disclosed later on.
    Thanks for reading.

reply by Sally Law on 24-Oct-2019
    Okay, thank for clarifying. My eyesight loss has worsened and it all I can do to read. I have a new keyboard specific for the sight impaired, so typing/writing is a bit easier. I'm sure it was me and not you. Your writing is always stellar. xo

reply by the author on 24-Oct-2019
    You're too kind, Sally. Hope your sight doesn't get any worse.
    My dad also had eyesight problems due to his diabetes. He got books and news on tape and used a magnifier.
Comment by
royowen
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 Rank:  6
 

#4 Ranked Poet
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I think you've made an excellent start to your novella Maria, you've produced a really great plot, and a wonderful character to fill that writing. I look forward to reading more of Daisy and the golden shard. Well done My friend, blessings Roy


 Comment Written 20-Oct-2019



reply by the author on 23-Oct-2019
    Thanks for reading, Roy.
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