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Reviews from
The Fisherman's Son


Viewing comments for Chapter 32 "The Fisherman's Son-Thirty-Two"

An Incredible Life

  27 total reviews 
Comment by
Ben Colder
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Poet Rating
  Rank:  218 (+11)
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  Rank:  68
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  Rank:  43
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Review Stars
  Rank:  103
 
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level
The stroy now takes a brisk turn with the death of Denice. The lad is growing up to face life in a hurry. I find nothing wrong with this write and thank you for a good story.


 Comment Written 21-Oct-2019



reply by the author on 21-Oct-2019
    Wow, Ben, thank you so very much and for your constant support. That means so much to me. Yes, Lorenzo is growing up fast now.. So much is to happen. Warm regards. Ulla:))
Comment by
JudyE
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Excellent
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Oh, poor Denise. What will Lorenzo do now?

I've listed a few suggestions:

When he saw who it was, a loud sob escaped from his trembling lips - as only Denise lives in the house, I might have deleted 'when he saw who it was'.

Lorenzo realise he needed to get help - should be 'realised'

Pulling himself off from the chair - delete 'from'

he slowly felt his way towards the stove, his eyes somewhat adjusted to the dark - I might have said 'adjusting'

He looked at it, for a moment - delete comma after 'it'

Next, he unfolded it and draped it on top of Denise - comma after 'it' and delete 'and'

he marvelled at its extraordinarily pattern - should be 'extraordinary'

He looked slightly annoyed as if he'd been interrupted - comma after 'annoyed'

next, I think you better come in - should be 'I think you'd better..'

"Hopkins, who's this and what's going on?" Martha's mother asked? - delete question mark after 'asked'

Lorenzo looked at them in amazement. - I'm not sure why he'd look at them in amazement. Perhaps there needs to be an explanation as to why he feels this way.

Have a great day
Judy



 Comment Written 21-Oct-2019



reply by the author on 21-Oct-2019
    Thank you so much, Judy and I've made all the edits and more. I so appreciate it. Ulla:)))
Comment by
Sally Law
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  Rank:  5
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  Rank:  9
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  Rank:  13
 

#5 Ranked Author

#9 Ranked Novelist
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level
Oh my, poor Denise and Lorenzo. He definitely is in shock. You did a splendid job with his disjointed thoughts and delayed responses, just like a person who has been traumatized. Superb. Sending you my best today and six stars,
Sally xo


 Comment Written 20-Oct-2019



reply by the author on 21-Oct-2019
    Oh my, Sally, thank you so very much. Yes, this was pretty traumatic for Lorenzo. I'm so glad you liked it. A big hug. Ulla xxx
Comment by
LaFrance
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  Rank:  265
 
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level
What a very sad chapter, another heart-filled loss for Lorenzo. Your writing was very good and it makes your characters are so believable and likable.


 Comment Written 20-Oct-2019



reply by the author on 21-Oct-2019
    Wow, thank you so very much. Yes, this was hard on Lorenzo. I so appreciate all your support. Kind regards. Ulla:)))
Comment by
2014 Novelist and 2016 Short Works Writer Of The Year
Phyllis Stewart
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How sad. But everyone dies, and she was rather old. Lorenzo has lost a good friend, and that's always hard. Fortunately, he ended up having dinner with Martha. That's the bright side.. :)


 Comment Written 20-Oct-2019



reply by the author on 22-Oct-2019
    Thank you so much, Phyllis. So true and she was old. Time has come for what is to happen next. I will still miss Denise, though, but as you say, she was old and especially in 1860. Ulla:)))
Comment by
zanya
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Excellent
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A young man, Lorenzo, whose life and times are being shaped by significant tragedy - yet he is finding the strength to carry on - hopefully there are better times ahead for him - an enjoyable read


 Comment Written 20-Oct-2019



reply by the author on 22-Oct-2019
    Thank you so much, Zanya. I'm so glad you liked it. yes, things are to happen. All the best. Ulla:)))
Comment by
tfawcus
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  Rank:  3
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  Rank:  48
 

#3 Ranked Novelist
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level
A chapter filled with drama. Your description of Lorenzo's reaction on discovering the body is most realistic, as are his subsequent actions. It seems that tragedy has thrown him together with Martha yet again. I wonder what will come of it.


 Comment Written 20-Oct-2019



reply by the author on 21-Oct-2019
    Thank you so very much, Tony. I'm so pleased for the recognition. Kind regards. Ulla:))
Comment by
Sugarray77
Melissa
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  Rank:  16
 

#5 Ranked Poet
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Very well written Ulla. You have done a wonderful job of creating angst, grief, and disbelief... all of it combining to appear very real. I am sorry one of your main characters has died... I will be interested in seeing how it changes the plot. Well done.

Melissa


 Comment Written 20-Oct-2019



reply by the author on 22-Oct-2019
    Thank you so much, Melissa. I will miss Denise but as you say now life goes on. All best. Ulla:)))
Comment by
Mistydawn
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The poor guy that must have been horrid for him finding her, like his mother. Especially since she's like a second mother to him. I'm sure it brought back a lot of painful memories. Your chapter is well-written, very interesting start to finish. I look forward to reading more.


 Comment Written 20-Oct-2019



reply by the author on 22-Oct-2019
    Thanks a lot, Misty. I so appreciate it. It was indeed bad for him, but now he'll have to focus on the future. Thanks so much for following along. Ulla xx
Comment by
Jannypan (Jan)
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  Rank:  7
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  Rank:  22
 

#7 Ranked Poet
Excellent
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You did a great job, Ulla, with this poignant chapter. You captured the feelings and emotions of Lorenzo perfectly. This chapter was intense and brought back thoughts of how he had found his mother. Readers will easily recall, too. Thanks for sharing. Respectfully with Love, Jan


 Comment Written 20-Oct-2019



reply by the author on 20-Oct-2019
    Thank you so much, Jan. I'm so glad you liked it. I will miss Denise, well. She was a character. All best. Ulla x
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