Contact Us | En español    
         Join today or login

Status

New Here?
Sign Up
Fast! Three Questions.

Already a member?
Login

Contests

Rhyming Poetry Contest
Deadline: Tomorrow!

100 Word Flash Fiction
Deadline: In 5 Days

Haiku Poetry Contest
Deadline: In 6 Days

ABC Poetry Contest
Deadline: Mar 9th

6 Word Poetry
Deadline: Mar 13th


Writing Classes

0 classes available. Click here locate a class and to learn more.

Rank

Poet: None
Author: None
Novel: None
Reviewer:None
Votes: None






Reviews from
St Louis


Viewing comments for Chapter 37 "St. Louis Chapter 16 part 1"

Can McKenzie solve Megan Nelson?s murder?

  14 total reviews 
Comment by
sandramitchell
Level 1 Pro
Sandra Mitchell
Sandra Stoner Mitc
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  31
Author Rating For Short Works
 
Author Rating For Novels
  Rank:  1
Review Stars
  Rank:  25
 

#1 Ranked Novelist!
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
Lol, I'd like to have been there when Austin threatened Logan!! It must be awful to be targeted, I'd hate that. But, lots of P.Is are, it's their job to cause ripples in the rogue's alley. I'd fancy a cup of that coffee! Well done, Barbara, another excellent part. Just catching up now. Sandra xx


 Comment Written 12-Nov-2019



reply by the author on 12-Nov-2019
    Logan isn't going to allow anything to happen to Mac, but it does. Thank you.
Comment by
Sylvia Page
Premier Author
Premier Reader
 
Poet Rating
 
Author Rating For Short Works
 
Author Rating For Novels
 
Review Stars
  Rank:  290
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
This is one of the stories on Fanstory I look forward to reading. You are doing a great job with this story. Austin Bryant is a new addition to the story. I don't see any background on him.
Looking forward to reading more.
Sylvia


 Comment Written 29-Oct-2019



reply by the author on 29-Oct-2019
    There is no background on him. This is the only time you'll hear about him so I didn't add him to the character list. You're the second person to mention it. I guess I'd better add him. Thank you for the encouragement.
Comment by
bob cullen
Premier Author
Premier Reader
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  132
Author Rating For Short Works
 
Author Rating For Novels
 
Review Stars
  Rank:  162
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
Barbara, I've not read any of your work recently but this excerpt tells me you're still one of the better writer's on Fanstory. This writing is every bit as good as the work I remember you presenting previously.
You write with the skill of a professional writer.


 Comment Written 29-Oct-2019



reply by the author on 29-Oct-2019
    Thank you for the awesome review. I have missed you. I'm glad you're back.
Comment by
dejohnsrld (Debbie)
Keep right on
writing on
 
Poet Rating
 
Author Rating For Short Works
 
Author Rating For Novels
 
Script Rating
 
Review Stars
  Rank:  150
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
It was just a gang related drive-by? (gang-related)

I can't stay held up in my home forever. (Holed up)

A couple spags I guess no one else saw. This is a well written chapter to this interesting story, my friend~Debbie


 Comment Written 29-Oct-2019



reply by the author on 02-Nov-2019
    I have made the changes. Thank you for the kind review.
Comment by
the13thpoet
Premier Author
Premier Reader
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  41
Author Rating For Short Works
 
Review Stars
  Rank:  32
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
A marvelous Monday to you Barbara, hope this review finds you well. I really have nothing to say about this except, thank you for the latest installment. This is one of my favorite stories to keep up with here on FanStory and I look forward to reading more.


 Comment Written 28-Oct-2019



reply by the author on 28-Oct-2019
    Thank you for the dropping by and leave this encouraging post.
Comment by
tfawcus
Level 1 Pro
Premier Author
Premier Reader
 
Poet Rating
 
Author Rating For Short Works
 
Author Rating For Novels
  Rank:  3
Review Stars
  Rank:  55
 

#3 Ranked Novelist
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
Another chapter with free-flowing and believable dialogue that moves the plot along nicely.

A small point, but I'd be inclined to separate Bryant from the coffee in this, by moving the action tag:

"Bryant, Austin Bryant." McKenzie stared at her coffee and then took a drink. "This tastes good. He wrote the book on being a jerk, but I don't believe he'd try to kill me."

"Bryant, Austin Bryant. He wrote the book on being a jerk, but I don't believe he'd try to kill me." McKenzie stared at her coffee and then took a drink. "This tastes good."

I notice that Austin Bryant isn't in your character list. Should he be?


 Comment Written 27-Oct-2019



reply by the author on 02-Nov-2019
    Austin Bryant isn't an important character, but maybe I do need to add him. I will. Thank you for the catch and I changed the coffee drinking.
Comment by
2016 and 2018 Script Write Of The Year
judiverse
Premier Author
Premier Reader
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  32
Author Rating For Short Works
  Rank:  6
Author Rating For Novels
 
Script Rating
  Rank:  1
Review Stars
  Rank:  45
 

#6 Ranked Author

#1 Ranked Script Writer!
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level
Poor Austin! It sounds like he ran to the police after his confrontation with Logan. That doesn't necessarily make him a suspect in the threats on Mac. Bill doesn't take Austin's side very seriously. Bill and Logan aren't giving up on their efforts to protect Mac. Mac protests all the security. It's not even safe for her to go jogging. That does seem to open up possibilities for another attack, so she's better follow advice and stay where she'll be safe. Excellent development. Characters are very believable. judi


 Comment Written 27-Oct-2019



reply by the author on 27-Oct-2019
    Things are going to get worse for her. Thank you for the kind review.




reply by judiverse on 27-Oct-2019
    Oh, my! Someone is really out to get her. It seems to me that this is personal, not relating to the case she's investigating. judi
Comment by
Gert sherwood
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  39 (+1)
Author Rating For Short Works
 
Review Stars
  
 Rank:  60
 
Gert sherwood Recommends:
Will Spring Arrive Soon?
Us Vermonters are waiting.
Pays:10 points
10 member cents

 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
Hello Barb
You seem to know how to make to conversation interesting between Logan and McKenzie when they were talking how to keep her (McKenzie) save. I wish I had a six to give you.

Gert


 Comment Written 27-Oct-2019



reply by the author on 27-Oct-2019
    Thank you for the kind review. I'm not worried about the six stars.

reply by Gert sherwood on 27-Oct-2019
    You are welcome Barb.
    Gert
Comment by
Sankey
Premier Author
Premier Reader
 
Poet Rating
 
Author Rating For Short Works
 
Author Rating For Novels
 
Script Rating
 
Review Stars
  Rank:  117
 
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level
Good chapter. I need to go fix that chapter of my Ramble you had trouble reading. Need something different to "sitting duck" that means the same down later to avoid repetition. But being family Bill and Mac probably talk the same anyway. No spags.


 Comment Written 27-Oct-2019



reply by the author on 27-Oct-2019
    Thank you for the kind review.
Comment by
2014 Novelist and 2016 Short Works Writer Of The Year
Phyllis Stewart
Premier Writer
Premier Reader
 
Poet Rating
 
Author Rating For Short Works
 
Author Rating For Novels
 
Review Stars
  
 Rank:  67
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
Now who wants to kill our macho heroine? And why? Is she getting close to solving the murder? Doesn't seem like it. Someone knows something that Mac might find out soon?

This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.


 Comment Written 27-Oct-2019



reply by the author on 27-Oct-2019
    You're right, but what? Mac doesn't even know what she knows. LOL Thank you for the kind review.
  -1-  2  Next Page 


Market your book.
Advertising options.
Twinkle Explosion
A Ranting Poem


Share or Bookmark
  Contact Us | En español | Advertise With Us

© 2015 FanStory.com, Inc. All Rights Reserved. Terms under which this service is provided to you. Privacy