Ha ha, you have done Johnny Cash proud, setting this in a western prison (Were the prison machinists wearing "Folsom Prison Blues," perhaps?). Flaky fake news indeed. This is hilarious political satire that even a sixth grader would appreciate. It's a wave, no it's a flip, no it's a wave, no it's a flip! I get the fake news people keep emphasizing 'seems' and 'appears' to avoid legal retribution. Nice job with a last name on Swan P. Slayer to get a connotation of a possible gunslinger, too. Thanks for entering!