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Reviews from
Saying Goodbye to Grandma


My Grandma Died of Cancer

  14 total reviews 
Comment by
sandramitchell
Level 1 Pro
Sandra Mitchell
Sandra Stoner Mitc
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  107
Author Rating For Short Works
 
Author Rating For Novels
  Rank:  1
Review Stars
  Rank:  24
 

#1 Ranked Novelist!
Excellent
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I was totally lost inside your story, it was like I was there with you all. We all have to face loss in our lifetime, there's no getting away from it. It's how it affects us that matters. My children went to see their father after he'd died even though I really didn't want them to. I agree with what your aunt said about not touching. This was a refreshing read from the child's point of view, some adults arrive late in life without ever having lost someone close. I was in my twenties when I lost my grandmother, and then the losses became a frequent happening. I enjoyed reading your story, sad though it was, it had a lot on the lighter side. Good luck in the contest. :)) Sandra xxx


 Comment Written 21-Dec-2019



reply by the author on 21-Dec-2019
    Sorry about the kids losing their dad. What are hard tragedy to go through. This story will continue of when I was 13 and lost my uncle. He led m to christ before he died. Hugs and love,
Comment by
lyenochka
Premier Author
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  Rank:  4
Author Rating For Short Works
  Rank:  5
Author Rating For Novels
  Rank:  2
Script Rating
  Rank:  2
Review Stars
  
 Rank:  3
 

#5 Ranked Author

#2 Ranked Novelist

#4 Ranked Poet

#2 Ranked Script Writer

#3 Ranked Reviewer
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I like how you showed us the impact of death on a small child who doesn't really understand what loss death brings. I like that you concluded with the feelings of loss that a child can relate to such as the ball that went out of read and the feeling that the extended family won't be together much now that Grandmother is gone.

I think you'd get more reviews if your posts were about half this length as reviewers here are reviewing multiple stories. Just a small suggestion.


 Comment Written 19-Dec-2019



reply by the author on 21-Dec-2019
    Thanks. This is exactly what I want people to think about. You're never to young to miss someone who has died. I feel adults sometimes try to hide it from kids. That doesn't work.

reply by lyenochka on 21-Dec-2019
    You're welcome! I just saw I had a typo in my review where I meant "ball that went out of reach" not "read."
Comment by
Therese Caron
Premier Author
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  100
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Review Stars
  Rank:  212
 
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What a beautiful tribute to a grandmother who has died. What impressed me most was the girls parents, who seem to understand every feeling they had and let them feel it. There was a very strong sense of family here, and you know they will get through anything. Kendra will deal with her grief and enjoy the love of her family as she grows. Their fear at the time was very normal. Very well written story, and the picture complements the story very well. Great job!


 Comment Written 19-Dec-2019



reply by the author on 21-Dec-2019
    Thanks, this is what I want people to take a way. Realize that even kids feel the loss.
Comment by
Barbaraj1
Premier Author
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Poet Rating
  Rank:  206
Author Rating For Short Works
  Rank:  98
Review Stars
  Rank:  148
 
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This is a very heartwarming story. Children react differently to death than
adults. There are just a few errors that should be corrected.
he said quietly, doesn't need the comma.
hang up the phone, then I heard...no comma needed
together, we fell into a deep sleep. ...need a space after the comma




 Comment Written 19-Dec-2019



reply by the author on 19-Dec-2019
    Thank you, I went back and made the corrections. I love the feedback, that is why I'm here. Have a Merry Christmas.
Comment by
RShipp
Premier Author
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  120
Author Rating For Short Works
  Rank:  62
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  Rank:  448
 
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A heart-warming reflection about a very sad time.

"I think it was more comforting for her than for me," I think most kids are far more insightful than we ever give them credit.

"A numbing feeling came over me, as I realized we would never be together again in grandma's house." A great way to end your story.


 Comment Written 19-Dec-2019



reply by the author on 19-Dec-2019
    Thank you, I appreciate it.
Comment by
Teri7
Premier Author
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  18
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  Rank:  14 (+4)
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Review Stars
  
 Rank:  19
 
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This is very well written and I am glad you are working on a book with this in it. You used great descriptive words and very nice imagery from your words too. Best wishes in the contest. Blessings, Teri


 Comment Written 17-Dec-2019



reply by the author on 19-Dec-2019
    Thank you, Teri.
Comment by
JudyE
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  Rank:  22
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  Rank:  124
 
Excellent
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Thank you for sharing your story with us. Death is a hard concept for young children and you've explained the mixed feelings you had about the death of your grandmother very well.

I picked up a few tiny glitches but ignore them if you want.

"OK, you can stay outside on the lawn while we go in," Mom said with understanding in her voice - comma needed after 'said'

Shortly after the funeral and grave-side service - one word - graveside

"Dinner won't be served until noon," my mom said, looking down at her watch. We will eat in about 15 minutes, so why don't you kids go outside to play?"
- speech marks needed before 'We'

My cousin Mark came over - commas needed either side of 'Mark'

"Read between those squiggly lines, not the lines themselves, then tell us what you see, added Aunt Jane. - speech marks needed after 'see'

Good luck in the contest.

Judy


 Comment Written 15-Dec-2019



reply by the author on 17-Dec-2019
    Thank you, I went back and made changes. I love when people tell me my mistakes, that is what I want more than anything else.



reply by JudyE on 17-Dec-2019
    I always enjoy editing good writing. Grammar and spelling can be learnt but having good content doesn't always come naturally.
Comment by
jmdg1954
 
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It is extremely difficult to lose someone so close when you're so young. You told this beautifully, in a heart felt style.

We've all lost close family and deal with it in our own ways.

Nicely written. John


 Comment Written 14-Dec-2019



reply by the author on 18-Dec-2019
    Thanks for reading this. I appr
Comment by
LeannaP
 
Review Stars
  Rank:  328
 
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When you stated, " Grandma died tonight" i have to admit i teared up.
Its hard to lose someone in this way. That darn cancer...
Thank you for sharing your story as it evokes alot of meaning. My condolences for your loss.
Leanna


 Comment Written 13-Dec-2019



reply by the author on 19-Dec-2019
    Yes, it happened a long time ago. I really want to bring out the idea of Children grieving.
Comment by
Sharon Haiste
Premier Author
Premier Reader
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  78
Author Rating For Short Works
  Rank:  25
Review Stars
  Rank:  147
 
Good
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I think this is an interesting story for the Share Your Story contest.
You have a lot of detail in your story making it easy to follow.
I wish you luck in the contest.
Sharon


 Comment Written 11-Dec-2019



reply by the author on 13-Dec-2019
    Thank you for your kind review
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