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Reviews from
If You Only Knew


Viewing comments for Chapter 9 "Thought for today: Raising Kids:"

I was asked to write my bio in 1975 and this is it

  41 total reviews 
Comment by
Raffaelina Lowcock
Premier Author
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Poet Rating
  Rank:  49
Author Rating For Short Works
  Rank:  41
Author Rating For Novels
  Rank:  49
Review Stars
  Rank:  21
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
The trials you experienced with your children were indeed handled very well. In reading this excerpt of your life after the suicide of your husband I am so impressed with your thorough action to remove the problem.
Raising seven children would be a challenge under normal circumstances but with what was weighing on your shoulders you stepped up and were counted. Bravo! Bless you and your family.
I have four boys and my that was a handful. LOL Ralf


 Comment Written 04-Jul-2020



reply by the author on 04-Jul-2020
    You are a blessing. Thank you for taking the time to review my post even though it doesn't pay much. You are a first for me and I sincerely appreciate it from the bottom of my heart. Thanks again.
Comment by
Alcreator Litt Dear
 
Poet Rating
 
Author Rating For Short Works
 
Review Stars
  
 Rank:  10
 
Excellent
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Excellent! This is an easy said taletelling raising your own family children; how fairly, morally and carefully you have raised them free of any bad habit of addiction; well said, well done; I have enjoyed the read; thank you for sharing this; keep writing. ALCREATOR


 Comment Written 02-Jun-2020



reply by the author on 02-Jun-2020
    Thank you for taking the time to read my post and send me encouraging words. thanks again.
Comment by
artisart4u
 
Poet Rating
 
Author Rating For Short Works
 
Review Stars
  Rank:  192
 
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level
This a nice story of bringing up children and the little things they do that make laugh later one.
The story kept me interested all the way though, I sure other people will enjoy it too. It sounds like a TV story like the Brady Bunch.
Congratulations on your wins.
Looks good to me, you have what he or she said in quotes and whatever necessary characters you needed as you wrote.
Good luck with.


 Comment Written 02-Jun-2020



reply by the author on 02-Jun-2020
    Wow! You are very kind and I sincerely appreciated the 6 stars. Really gave me a boost in my morale. Thanks again.
Comment by
roof35
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Poet Rating
  Rank:  157
Author Rating For Short Works
  Rank:  32 (+1)
Review Stars
  Rank:  12
 
Excellent
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I think you are not at the K-3 level but already a grad. Your little stories fit together nicely. You imparted some interesting techniques for raising good kids. I had a friend whose father hung himself. As far as I know no one ever said the terrible things the kids in your story say. Until I read your story, I could not imagine that. Thanks for opening my eyes to the world today.


 Comment Written 02-Jun-2020



reply by the author on 02-Jun-2020
    You have made my day. I am stuck on writing our dating years,
    which makes the way he died devastating. Where can I get help
    to write about those six years? Thanks again.

reply by roof35 on 02-Jun-2020
    Perhaps from your kids? If they are old enough to ask about those days. They could help you remember some good times.

reply by the author on 05-Jun-2020
    You are a blessing. Thanks again.
Comment by
thaities, Rebecca V.
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  Rank:  2
Review Stars
  Rank:  6
 

#2 Ranked Author
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Beautifully written! You sure have a knack at solving your children's problems. Definitely continue writing and spreading your wisdom. As a single mother, it looks like you held it together and are successful with your child rearing.


 Comment Written 24-Feb-2020



reply by the author on 25-Feb-2020

    Thanks a bunch. A great way to start my day. I appreciate your words of encouragement.
Comment by
BethShelby
Premier Author
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  71
Author Rating For Short Works
  Rank:  42
Author Rating For Novels
  Rank:  5
Review Stars
  Rank:  20
 

#5 Ranked Novelist
Excellent
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Raising children is not an easy task and raising them without another parent to help you makes in very daunting. It sound like to me you did a great job and you are to be commended for raising so many and telling your story for the benefit of other parents.


 Comment Written 22-Feb-2020



reply by the author on 22-Feb-2020
    Thanks a bunch. I look back now and smile. Your comments are well taken. Thanks again.
Comment by
GE Parson
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Poet Rating
  Rank:  234 (+1)
Author Rating For Short Works
  Rank:  191
Author Rating For Novels
 
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Review Stars
  Rank:  230
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
I compliment you on your various methods of working out the problems that you fixed. I identify with Matt for wanting to beat up the heartless kid who kept taunting him. His apology
was a forced one by his parents and he didn't learn a thing, as he would have if your son beat the crap out of him.

It's not easy to be a single parent, and you did a great job being one.


 Comment Written 22-Feb-2020



reply by the author on 22-Feb-2020
    Thanks a bunch. I look back now and smile. Your comments are well taken. Thanks again.
Comment by
Gypsymooncat
Level 1 Pro
Writing is choc
Writing is wine
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  152
Author Rating For Short Works
  Rank:  126
Author Rating For Novels
 
Review Stars
  Rank:  155
 
Good
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
Firstly, if this is autobiographical, then I commend you on raising seven children on your own, especially when the majority of them were boys! Girls bring their own challenges, but four boys would've been very challenging. Congratulations on bringing up your children to be decent members of society!

What brought the writing of your story down to a four for me, was I found the dialogue to be a bit stiff and unnatural in a sense. For instance - unless he makes an extra effort to be extremely well spoken - I couldn't imagine any 16 year old boy saying "I will tell my Mom and Dad" or "I feel certain that my parents will take care of it." I'd imagine a boy that age might say "I'll tell my parents" or "Mom and Dad'll take care of it". Do you see what I mean? Even parts of the dialogue between yourself and your sons seems a little bit stiff too, for similar reasons.

A couple of other things I noticed:

"I'll have to decide o(f)n some type of discipline before..." the first "of" should be "on".

...why aren't you applying yourself." That sentence should be followed by a question mark, not a full stop.

Overall, I enjoyed your story very much, but wanted to mention those few issues I found which encouraged a four rating, rather than a five.

I hope what I've pointed out is of help to you!





 Comment Written 22-Feb-2020



reply by the author on 22-Feb-2020
    Sorry to have disappointed you. I write like I write a letter to a friend. Please note I said in my first post I am at the K-3 level, deprived of a high school education. So sorry.

reply by Gypsymooncat on 22-Feb-2020
    No apology needed; I am not disappointed at all, nor am I in a position to even be so! If you willingly take on board help that's offered, you will pick your writing level up and improve it immensely. Frankly, you say you're writing at the level of a 3 year old...is that right? Sorry, but you're writing WAY over that level. You only have a few "glitches" in your writing style; nothing I could see that's major.

    So please, I tried to help, hope I was able to, but you have in no way "disappointed" me...or anyone I'd venture to say!
Comment by
lightink
Premier Author
Premier Reader
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  91 (+3)
Author Rating For Short Works
 
Script Rating
 
Review Stars
  Rank:  115
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
Your story really touched me! While I can't imagine how hard it must have been to handle everything as a single mom, I love the no-nonsense approach coupled with so much wisdom! Amazing attuned, smart moves, also very compassionate without being 'sickly sweet'. You are a real role model. The writing is a little distanced from emotions, which I imagine made it much easier to deal with these situations. I loved your snippets. Thank you for sharing!


 Comment Written 22-Feb-2020



reply by the author on 22-Feb-2020
    Thanks a bunch. I look back now and smile. Your comments are well taken. Thanks again.
Comment by
Ricky1024
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Poet Rating
  Rank:  172
Author Rating For Short Works
  Rank:  164
Author Rating For Novels
  Rank:  17
Script Rating
 
Review Stars
  Rank:  295
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
"Thought for Today: Raising Kids"
Never endless, more expensive as time goes...
...
College Education?
$$$$
This was well written and rich in Theme and Imagery.
It also, read well and flowed well with no Grammar Issues.
...
Complete Synopsis:
The Adjective and Objective Contents were both Excellent and Exceptional while Descriptive Measures aligned Perfectly.
...
Thanks for the memories?
Doctor Ricky 1024


 Comment Written 22-Feb-2020



reply by the author on 22-Feb-2020
    Thanks a bunch. I look back now and smile. Your comments are well taken. Thanks again.
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