Contact Us | En español    
         Join today or login

Status

New Here?
Sign Up
Fast! Three Questions.

Already a member?
Login

Contests

6 Word Poetry
Deadline: Tomorrow!

Cinquain Poetry
Deadline: In 3 Days

3 Line Poetry Contest
Deadline: In 4 Days

Flash Fiction
Deadline: In 6 Days

80 Word Flash Fiction
Deadline: Oct 1st


Writing Classes

0 classes available. Click here locate a class and to learn more.

Rank

Poet: None
Author: None
Novel: None
Reviewer:None
Votes: None






Reviews from
The Bowling Alley Tavern


A short story contest entry - 497 words

  28 total reviews 
Comment by
w.j.debi
Premier Author
Premier Reader
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  127
Author Rating For Short Works
 
Author Rating For Novels
  Rank:  20
Review Stars
  Rank:  138
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
This is a well told story. I can almost smell the beer and the bravado of the bowlers. Great job with the location and the name so the bowlers can all claim to still be at the bowling alley. I loved the "Telly Savalas bald" comment. I haven't seen anything with Telly Savalas in years, but I quickly go the image.
Good luck in the contest.


 Comment Written 01-Jan-2020



reply by the author on 02-Jan-2020
    Hi debi. Thank you for your review of this short story of Stan Kranski. Marilyn
Comment by
Sugarray77
Melissa
Premier Reader
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  23
Author Rating For Short Works
 
Review Stars
  Rank:  106
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
Hi Marilyn. Good story with a logical plot, well developed characters and a meaningful ending... where he drank too much because he lost out with the girl. Good luck in the contest!!

Melissa


 Comment Written 01-Jan-2020



reply by the author on 02-Jan-2020
    Hi Melissa. Thank you for reading the last short story about Kranski. Much appreciated. Marilyn
Comment by
2019 Script Writer of the Year
Bill Schott
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  35
Author Rating For Short Works
  Rank:  11
Author Rating For Novels
  Rank:  13
Script Rating
  Rank:  3
Review Stars
  Rank:  10
 

#3 Ranked Script Writer
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
This flash fiction story, The Bowling Alley Tavern, is a great example of the form. This iceberg story is a slice of Stan's life that has a definite feel of a guy who let his catered ego get stubbed by courting too slow. Classic bowling alley tavern understated drama.


 Comment Written 01-Jan-2020



reply by the author on 02-Jan-2020
    Hi Bill. Thank you for reading the latest installment of Kranski. Marilyn
Comment by
Gail Denham
Premier Author
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  190 (+1)
Author Rating For Short Works
 
Review Stars
 
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
You did use some good words, including the names for the beers. They keep making up new brands and brews - esp. here in our town too. Rita sounded as she were a gal around town.
Good job on short story.


 Comment Written 30-Dec-2019



reply by the author on 30-Dec-2019
    Hi Gail. Thank you for your review of my story about Kranski. There are other stand-alone pieces. This is the latest. Rita's much younger than Stan. Marilyn
Comment by
JudyE
Premier Author
Premier Reader
 
Poet Rating
 
Author Rating For Short Works
  Rank:  28
Author Rating For Novels
 
Script Rating
 
Review Stars
  Rank:  142
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
So Stan ended up disappointed. Well written and a worthy entry for the the flash fiction competition.

Just a couple of suggestions:

The league's heavy hitters were already there huddled around the bar - comma needed after 'huddled'

"Where the hell, you been? - delete comma

All the best for New Year
Judy


 Comment Written 30-Dec-2019



reply by the author on 30-Dec-2019
    Hi Judy. Thank you. I appreciate your good eyes. Will take a look. Marilyn
Comment by
Jeffrey L. Michaux
Jeff Michaux
Williamsburg
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  27
Author Rating For Short Works
 
Review Stars
  Rank:  53
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
Well, that was a very unfortunate set of events. He was egged on to approach her only to find out that she was waiting on someone else. I guess it struck him hard since he probably closed the bar down. Thanks for sharing this well written work. Well done!


 Comment Written 30-Dec-2019



reply by the author on 30-Dec-2019
    Hi Jeffrey. Thank you for your review. Yes, you've got the story right. This is another episode in the love life of Stan Kranski, doing double-duty as a contest short story. Marilyn
Comment by
royowen
Premier Author
Premier Reader
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  1
Author Rating For Short Works
 
Review Stars
  
 
 Rank:  2
 

#1 Ranked Poet!

#2 Ranked Reviewer
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
I seemed to recall similar circumstances happening in my facinity in my drinking days. And friends are a funny bunch, but the insensitivities tend to be the same wherever we go. A beautifully written entry in this contest dear Marilyn, blessings, Roy


 Comment Written 29-Dec-2019



reply by the author on 29-Dec-2019
    Hi Roy. Thank you for your review of this episode of Kranski, doing double duty for the contest. Marilyn

reply by royowen on 29-Dec-2019
    Well done
Comment by
aryr
Premier Author
 
Poet Rating
 
Author Rating For Short Works
  Rank:  93
Author Rating For Novels
  Rank:  73
Script Rating
 
Review Stars
  Rank:  51
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
Good luck in the contest Marilyn. This was a great short story about love and infatuation, first perceived by Stan, then found only to be lost. At least he was saved by his fellow bowlers because they pretended not to notice his rejection when Rita was joined by her beau and Phil further protected him by calling a cab. Love truly sucks sometimes. Well done.


 Comment Written 29-Dec-2019



reply by the author on 29-Dec-2019
    Hi Alie. Thank you for this story in the saga of Stan Kranski. Much appreciated. Your comments are super. Yes, sometimes love sucks. Marilyn

reply by aryr on 30-Dec-2019
    Most welcome Marilyn.
Comment by
Mary Kay Bonfante
Premier Author
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  68
Author Rating For Short Works
  Rank:  88
Author Rating For Novels
 
Review Stars
  Rank:  147
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
Engaging story, you've got me feeling sorry for Stan in his disappointment over Rita's involvement with another guy. You set the scene well, and the bar language is very believable. Thanks for including the list of terms at the bottom! You've provided a colorful image to go with your story. So glad your Stan won't be a drunk driver!


 Comment Written 29-Dec-2019



reply by the author on 29-Dec-2019
    Hi Mary Kay. Thank you for your review of my story about Stan Kranski. Good observations. Marilyn

reply by Mary Kay Bonfante on 29-Dec-2019
    You're welcome!
Comment by
Y. M. Roger
FantasyGirl
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  5
Author Rating For Short Works
  Rank:  9
Author Rating For Novels
  Rank:  30 (+1)
Script Rating
 
Review Stars
  Rank:  11
 

#9 Ranked Author

#5 Ranked Poet
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
Just another night out with the boys, yeah? :) ;) Poor Stan... there will be other 'Ritas'... ;) A wonderfully written story about life in middle America, Marilyn -- well done! ;) Thanx for sharing and best of luck in the contest! ;) Yvette


 Comment Written 29-Dec-2019



reply by the author on 29-Dec-2019
    Hi Yvette. I write about the character of Stan Kranski from time to time. There are other stand-alone posts in my portfolio. Thank you for your review of this one. Marilyn
  -1-  2 3  Next Page 


Market your book.
Advertising options.
Mr. Justice
A Justice steps up to help.


Share or Bookmark
  Contact Us | En español | Advertise With Us

© 2015 FanStory.com, Inc. All Rights Reserved. Terms under which this service is provided to you. Privacy