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Two Line Poem
Deadline: Tomorrow!

75 Words Flash Fiction
Deadline: In 4 Days

5-7-5 Poem
Deadline: Jul 10th

This Sentence Starts The Story
Deadline: Jul 15th

Faith Poetry Contest
Deadline: Jul 22nd


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Reviews from
The Pitches


Viewing comments for Prologue "The Pitches "

Backgound to support Pez and Pallas

  24 total reviews 
Comment by
Darlene Franklin
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  Rank:  50
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  Rank:  55 (+1)
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  Rank:  40
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Review Stars
  Rank:  107
 
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Well, he was sure "rehabilitated." Oh, dear, a gun! What is he going to do with it? A great 75 word story and a solid prologue to t he book. Well done.


 Comment Written 05-Jan-2020



reply by the author on 05-Jan-2020
    Thanks, Darlene.
Comment by
Brett Matthew West
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  Rank:  92 (+3)
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  Rank:  39
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  Rank:  218
 
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Peril Pitch - a good name for this character. Defines him well.

"guest of the state" - a clever way to say he was a prisoner.

Last line says it all and indicates most cons repeat crimes upon their release.


 Comment Written 04-Jan-2020



reply by the author on 04-Jan-2020
    Thanks, Brett, for giving this a look. Bill
Comment by
Fonda Little
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  Rank:  71
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  Rank:  145
 
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"Now, to get a gun", left me in suspense to read the next chapter so great job! God bless you In Jesus's Almighty, All Powerful, Divine, Holy, Majestic Name, The Name Above All Names I pray, amen, Amen, AMEN!


 Comment Written 04-Jan-2020



reply by the author on 04-Jan-2020
    Thanks, Fonda.
Comment by
May 1
 
Review Stars
  Rank:  392
 
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This is quite an interesting start. I especially love the last sentence. It says a lot about how functional he plans to be. I love the tone and the twist in the end. All in all, very enjoyable to read.


 Comment Written 04-Jan-2020



reply by the author on 04-Jan-2020
    Thank you, May. I hope the story unfolds well.
Comment by
Earl Corp
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  Rank:  88
 
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I actually knew a guy at Fort Campbell that got out of jail and went and got a gun and killed his wife. Very nice job getting it done in 75 words. Good luck in the contest.


 Comment Written 03-Jan-2020



reply by the author on 03-Jan-2020
    Thanks, Earl. This story is part of a back story for two of my script characters, Pez and Pallas.
Comment by
Sharon Haiste
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  Rank:  70
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  Rank:  17
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  Rank:  122
 
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I think this is an interesting entry for the 75 Words Flash Fiction contest.
The end was unexpected and rather ominous.
Well done and I wish you luck with the contest.
Sharon


 Comment Written 01-Jan-2020



reply by the author on 02-Jan-2020
    Thank you, Sharon.
Comment by
JudyE
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  Rank:  99
 
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Uh-oh, they've made a mistake letting this guy out. Best of luck in the 75-word contest. I didn't spot any spags and the last line comes as a surprise, which is good.


 Comment Written 31-Dec-2019



reply by the author on 31-Dec-2019
    Thanks, Judy. HNY
Comment by
Ogden
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  Rank:  123
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  Rank:  124 (+1)
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  Rank:  61
 
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Your piece is an excellent comment on recidivism.
You probably typecast your protagonist for his name, so one of us can observe something like,
"I don't know about the rest of his family, but this guy is a wild Pitch!"
Five stars for recidivism!

Ogden (Don)


 Comment Written 31-Dec-2019



reply by the author on 31-Dec-2019
    Thanks, Don, for giving this a look. Pez and Pallas are two of my scene characters. I?m developing a backstory to explain their world view. Happy New Year. Bill

reply by Ogden on 31-Dec-2019
    You're welcome, Bill!
    Happy New Year to you, too!
    Don
Comment by
LisaMay
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  Rank:  11
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  Rank:  1
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  Rank:  22
 

#1 Ranked Author!
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level
You've pitched your story well in this well constructed ministory. A chilling tale of dumb political decisions with repercussions for our wider society. You've given us a hint of the future with this family.
In so many cases, prison does not provide any real chance of rehabilitation, just turns inmates into more skilful or vindictive criminals.


 Comment Written 30-Dec-2019



reply by the author on 30-Dec-2019
    Convicts are trained to perform jobs that pay less than welfare. Weigh station for the morgue.
Comment by
nomi338
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  Rank:  107
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  Rank:  106
 
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Political expediency over common sense has led us to where we are today. instead of housing people incapable of functioning on the street, we have kicked them out and said go ahead and do your thing, just stay the hell away from me. So where did this get Reagan, a nut with a gun nearly separated him from life.


 Comment Written 30-Dec-2019



reply by the author on 30-Dec-2019
    Remember taking condors off the endangered species list and ketchup as a vegetable?
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