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Reviews from
Crashing the gates


An ode to the black sheep of the world

  3 total reviews 
Comment by
J.T. Blossom
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Thoughtful poem with obvious plays on "herd" and "breaking away." A few technical pointers: unless you are British, periods and commas go inside of end quotation marks. Also, when you use a question or exclamation mark, there is no need for a comma after the mark. A good exercise to consider trying for any poem is to completely remove all punctuation and then add marks back in only as absolutely necessary.


 Comment Written 07-Jan-2020



reply by the author on 08-Jan-2020
    hi there, thanks for the read and v the great vacation pointers. You say that punctuation goes inside quotation marks... Does this apply even to parts of sentences? Especially parts that are not inclusive of the whole sentence ( for lack of better explanation) it seems odd to me to put the period in the quotes in that "case."(.) ( Seems more right to me, but perhaps you are right there) Thanks for the punctuation advice about poetry, I'll have to remember that when I'm writing a more pure poem. But I wonder how it fares in a write such as this one that is more of a "poetic prose." (.) Again...lol. But thanks for the great advice especially on the use of commas after exclamation points and question marks... That is one I have always wondered about. Blessings to you.

reply by J.T. Blossom on 08-Jan-2020
    https://www.quickanddirtytips.com/education/grammar/quotation-marks-with-periods-and-commas?page=all
Comment by
Suzanna Ray
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  Rank:  95
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Dear Fellow Poet I think you have done one heck of a good job honing this epic down. I was amazed at the length of it! How long have you labored on this single post?


 Comment Written 07-Jan-2020



reply by the author on 08-Jan-2020
    Hi Suzanna. thanks for the read and encouraging comments. I have indeed spent many, many hours on this. I guess it's a labor of love. I have reworked it numerous times, each time getting a little tighter. Maybe 3 or 4 more times, and I might have something . Lol. God Bless and thanks again.
Comment by
susand3022
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#7 Ranked Script Writer
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Hi DJ, what a fun, not so little, poem! I really enjoyed the storytelling about the curious black sheep and the lazy white ones, that just wanted to be good and get their ticket punched. LOL And you're right... not quite the smooth read, but it's a fun story nonetheless. :)


 Comment Written 07-Jan-2020



reply by the author on 08-Jan-2020
    thank you so much . Bless you!
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