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Reviews from
Letters from a runaway (pt.2)


Letter to mom and dad

  24 total reviews 
Comment by
Martie Zuckerman
Premier Author
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  213 (+1)
Author Rating For Short Works
 
 
Excellent
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Excellent piece. I was transported. I have not seen the first installment; I shall seek it out. Your words have life. Very well done, and yes, hard to read knowing it is autobiographic.


 Comment Written 10-Mar-2020



reply by the author on 11-Mar-2020
    Thank you Martie for your time and review. I wish you would have read the first one first, if you think pt 2 was a hard read, one is on a different level.
Comment by
Sulyman Hannafi M.A.
 
 
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Nice poem with free verse style.The writer used the common words that relates with common issues between a child and his parents.The story line is linked in this work but the reader couldnt conclude as the narrative mind of the poet has not been suspended as the writer put " to be continue..."

This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.


 Comment Written 10-Mar-2020



reply by the author on 11-Mar-2020
    Thank you for reading my work. Why only three stars? I don't mind the rating just want to know the reasoning behind it, do you think it needs improvement?

reply by Sulyman Hannafi M.A. on 11-Mar-2020
    Sorrry my colleague !!. I think the poem is not that rythmic enough .Rythm is an essential part of standard poetic work.
Comment by
Bill Pinder
Premier Author
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  40
Author Rating For Short Works
  Rank:  80
Author Rating For Novels
  Rank:  28
Review Stars
  Rank:  80
 
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Thanks for sharing your personal story in this writing. It is well written from your heart, and I am glad that you have gone on with your life and gotten stronger. Abuse coming from your own family is the worst. Bill


 Comment Written 10-Mar-2020



reply by the author on 11-Mar-2020
    Thanks Bill, I appreciate your time and review.

reply by Bill Pinder on 11-Mar-2020
Comment by
Mistydawn
Premier Author
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  Rank:  13
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Review Stars
  Rank:  66
 
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This is a great continuance to your story/poem. It's very well-written, interesting, heartbreaking for a child to have to go through what you did. Your great word choice took the reader into that moment, let us feel your fear of what's to come. Your desire for a better life. Nicely done.


 Comment Written 27-Feb-2020



reply by the author on 10-Mar-2020
    Thanks Misty.
Comment by
Brett Matthew West
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  Rank:  57 (+2)
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  Rank:  45
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  Rank:  239
 
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So many youngsters go through similar situations, afraid they are going to be in deep trouble, they run away. That only makes the matter worse. This well crafted story in a poem held interest throughout. Always tough to tell such personal events. I know that well. I detailed some of my younger days in Unwanted Dog. Well done!


 Comment Written 16-Jan-2020



reply by the author on 16-Jan-2020
    Thank you Brett for your time, review and insight. Sometimes running away can make matters worse but not in this case. I refer you to pt. 1 as it details why I had to leave.
Comment by
susand3022
Premier Author
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  49
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  Rank:  49
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  Rank:  11
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Hello Poet... That's often the way, isn't it? What doesn't kill us, makes us stronger! :] lol Again, a very powerful story. (I can't believe you had to do this at 8 years old... I have no words.) I did notice that with the story beginning to move forward, you are losing your meter in some places. Keep an eye out when you go for part 3! I can't wait to see how nice grandma is and I really hope she bakes cookies and you get your own room and she takes your brother and sister in too... and that your parents have to pay her child support. LOL (That'd be too easy, wouldn't it.)


 Comment Written 16-Jan-2020



reply by the author on 16-Jan-2020
    Thank you for your time, review and insights, I appreciate it. I'll try to not keep you waiting too long. Have a great day!
Comment by
Ava Wilson
Premier Author
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Poet Rating
  Rank:  359
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This is beautifully heartbreaking and I could feel your emotion throughout the whole writing. I love when people share their innermost selves through their work. You did a great job and I hope that writing brings you healing. Well done and thanks for sharing.


 Comment Written 15-Jan-2020



reply by the author on 30-Jan-2020
    Thank you Ava.
Comment by
BeasPeas
Premier Author
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Poet Rating
  Rank:  33
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  Rank:  544
 
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Hi Roddy. This is very well written. I am so sorry for this happening to you. Little kids need loving parents. I can imagine your fear. Thank goodness you were able to go to your grandma's house. Will read #1. Marilyn


 Comment Written 15-Jan-2020



reply by the author on 30-Jan-2020
    Thank you.
Comment by
Aaqib Naeem
Premier Author
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  119
Author Rating For Short Works
  Rank:  84
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'And wondered if you even noticed...The fear that was in my lines'. This is was so on point and beautifully written. How can a parent so blatantly ignore or not be able to judge what their child is going through??? You dad was a bad guy buy mom was the silent accomplice in this as well.


 Comment Written 15-Jan-2020



reply by the author on 15-Jan-2020
    Thanks for reading part 2. Yes she was, though she faced her own abuse as well, there was no excuse for her inaction. I recently had a conversation with her about this. Though it may be a case of a little too late, I think she got it. It may not be the relationship I want, but I'm glad I do have some type of relationship with my mother. Haven't seen my father for close to 30 years nor do I want to. Thanks again.

reply by Aaqib Naeem on 15-Jan-2020
    Good on you to talk about it and get it off your chest. Letting her know how things were for you back then. Her submissive nature harmed both her and her children. No point in talking to a person who still is not sorry about his behaviour!
Comment by
Darlene Franklin
Premier Author
Premier Reader
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  89
Author Rating For Short Works
  Rank:  69
Author Rating For Novels
  Rank:  54
Script Rating
 
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I didn't find part 1 - I scrolled back some 8 or so, I would guess. But wow, what a story. How much could go wrong. How much had already gone wrong. Too terrified to go h ome. I look forward to seeing the rest. How old were you?


 Comment Written 14-Jan-2020



reply by the author on 15-Jan-2020
    Thank you for your time and review. I was 8 years old. I have promoted the first part again so it should be real easy to find. Warning it's a hard read, but it will give a clear picture as to why I had to leave. Have a great day!
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