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Reviews from
Faith


Buried alive and faith that person will be found

  3 total reviews 
Comment by
WalkerMan
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Poet Rating
 
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  Rank:  199
 
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level
Your poem certainly is an expression of faith -- in this case, of a person mistakenly buried alive, who wakes up in the dark casket with "Dirt and earthworms above" and decides to wait for rescue rather than panic.

At one time, some people were buried with a cord in the casket, which, if pulled, would ring a bell on a post beside the mound of earth above. This was done because people in a coma sometimes were mistaken for dead.

Though such horrid errors are less likely now, nothing is impossible; so your post is plausible.

In reality, at that depth it is unlikely that any amount of screaming or banging on the inside of the casket would be heard. Deciding to wait with eyes closed might permit drifting off to sleep as the remaining oxygen wanes, leading to a far gentler real demise than a panicked person yelling and thrashing around would have.

In just nine lines, you conveyed the essence of the situation superbly.

Keep writing, as this post is a good start.

Meanwhile, I recommend you read some of the best posts here by clicking on the "READ" button in the ribbon with the FanStory logo, then choose "Stand Out Writing" and select "All Time Best" to get the category list. Click on any category of interest, and you'll see posts from those rated best on down.

Also, look at the Portfolio of each of your reviewers, and reciprocate for the review that writer gave you by reviewing something of his or hers.

In this way, you will build friendships and even attract Fans who will read and review a lot of what you write, as well as vote for some of your posts in contests. Just be aware that most of us are Fans of many other writers too, which could affect voting choices; so don't let any contest results upset you. Losing a contest is better than being buried alive, as you always can try again in another. :)) -- Mike


 Comment Written 22-Jan-2020



reply by the author on 23-Jan-2020
    I appreciate your review and the insights!

reply by WalkerMan on 23-Jan-2020
    You are most welcome, Katie. Your poem is an interesting variant on the theme of faith. People with the courage to be noticeably unique are both rare and of extra value to the real progress of humanity. You have a bright future ahead. You may not always be rewarded, for uniqueness scares some people. However, for each task you take on, YOU will know what you have accomplished (and so will God). -- Mike
Comment by
xvi
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  Rank:  255
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Good
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
I was a bit confused by this poem. Is the person already underground, but awake, and contemplating sleep? And are "they" going to realize the closing of eyes or that the person is alive? I think I see where you were going here, a resurrection. But it feels like the resurrection has already happened, and then unhappens? I'm not sure. Either way, I wish you luck in the contest.


 Comment Written 21-Jan-2020



reply by the author on 21-Jan-2020
    Thanks for reviewing. My first post on this site. It?s meant to be from the perspective of a person buried alive.

reply by xvi on 21-Jan-2020
    Ahhh...I can see it now.
Comment by
RodG
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  Rank:  56 (+1)
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  Rank:  98
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  Rank:  60
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
Your short poem conveys quite a bit of story line in only nine short lines. We wonder if someone intentionally buried the Speaker alive and we easily visualize her in her coffin. We admire her faith in thinking someone will realize where she is and rescue her.


 Comment Written 21-Jan-2020



reply by the author on 21-Jan-2020
    Thank you for taking the time to review. I appreciate the feedback!
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