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Reviews from
A new age


with just the weak

  11 total reviews 
Comment by
Pantygynt
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Poet Rating
  Rank:  65
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  Rank:  4
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  Rank:  28
 

#4 Ranked Novelist
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A history of the world in seven quatrains of rhyming couplets. This is a kind of poetic footnote to life as we know it. I fear that if it did turn out as this predict it would all happen much as before. We don't learn, do we?


 Comment Written 25-Jan-2020



reply by the author on 25-Jan-2020
    Cheers Jim
Comment by
May 1
 
Review Stars
  Rank:  117
 
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I love the rhymes and your choice of topic for this one. Also, your descriptions are really vivid and fun to read. Yes, I think we will be the undoing of us and the planet, unfortunately. All in all, I really enjoyed reading this poem.


 Comment Written 25-Jan-2020



reply by the author on 25-Jan-2020
    Hi May , thanks for the review and all the praise , you gave me a 4 rating just wondered if a mistake or you did not like something ,I am bearing in mind all the other reviews and high ratings, just thought I would ask. Many thanks x

reply by May 1 on 25-Jan-2020
    Good thing you did. It keeps happening to me to make a mistake, especially between four and five, sorry. I will fix it. Feel free to point it out because if I say I like everything than it's always a five.

reply by the author on 25-Jan-2020
    Ok thanks may, sorry to hear its keeps happening,many thanks Colin x

reply by the author on 25-Jan-2020
    Thank you May, just noticed the 5th star, many thanks xxx
Comment by
2019 Poet of the Year
Dolly'sPoems
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 Rank:  1
 

#2 Ranked Poet

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Do you mean that comets are responsible for the wild fire Colin? I'm not sure if that is true and the extreme heat in Australia did not help. Climate change is being blamed for so many changes and I think we have become obsessed with it. There are changes, but they are slower than we think. Your epic write has some passion behind it, love Dolly x


 Comment Written 24-Jan-2020



reply by the author on 25-Jan-2020
    Hi Dolly , yes where the weak hide lol xx
Comment by
susand3022
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I expect something will come along, Colin. The planet is having it's own coming of age. It does that. It has its own cycle, nobody thinks about that. The ice caps melt, then freeze again, it's the cycle of the planet. One time when it happened, Pangea broke apart and the continents were spread around the globe. I mean, what are you going to do? Stop the cycle of life? It's going to happen, it just happens that we're at the wrong place, at the wrong time. We may be helping it along some. I mean, can you expect ice to stay frozen for long when it's loaded with plastic? No, not likely. Maybe we should do like Noah, build an ark. Waterworld coming up... could get messy.


 Comment Written 24-Jan-2020



reply by the author on 25-Jan-2020
    Thanks Susan xx
Comment by
2017 Poet of the Year
Barb Hensongispsaca
Barb Henson
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  Rank:  108 (+1)
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  Rank:  47
 

#8 Ranked Poet
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I owe you an apology, this deserves a six for content alone and alas I do not have one to give. The flow and the rhyme are spot on and the message clear, it will happen again. Loved this part:
We have ravaged our planet like no comet could do,
slaughtered our enemies then they slaughtered us to.


 Comment Written 24-Jan-2020



reply by the author on 24-Jan-2020
    Thank you so much Barb, I like it when it just has meaning and then rhymes. many thanks a great review Barb. XX
Comment by
Lil' Mormon Boy
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  Rank:  87
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  Rank:  127
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  Rank:  95
 
Good
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I thought your poem fairly good from the complete scientific perspective.
Your meter needed a little more work but your rhymes worked.
Your story was well described. And even though I thought it needed a little work, I still think you did a fairly good job.
One thought, you might make it better by it being free verse.
Keep it up. You may have something here.

This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.


 Comment Written 24-Jan-2020



reply by the author on 24-Jan-2020
    Cheers for your review and not many could make this rhyme, seeing it took me 45mins I am happy but do take your point about free verse. But that 's not for me , far to easy. Many thanks Colin.

reply by Lil' Mormon Boy on 24-Jan-2020
    I know what you mean.
    Cheers!
Comment by
lyenochka
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#2 Ranked Author

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#4 Ranked Reviewer
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You're right that mankind can do as much harm as the theoretical comet did to wipe out life on our poor planet. Good reflection about Earth's history.

"slaughtered our enemies then they slaughtered us to." (too)
In your notes:
"We are overpopulated and face distinction" (extinction)


 Comment Written 24-Jan-2020



reply by the author on 24-Jan-2020
    Hi Helen, your not a comet denier are you, I mean it wiped out the dinosaurs did,nt it , they can prove that with soil tests and now they know the comet landed in Mexico, we were not around then and evolved from this poor unfortunate occurrence, that's if you believe the earth is over six thousand years old. Cheers Colin x

reply by lyenochka on 24-Jan-2020
    Lol. "comet denier" Love it!
    I don't claim to know the age of the Earth but I do know that scientists say one thing and teach the students and then they change their minds and suddenly, we have to switch gears. They're still debating whether the universe is expanding or contracting etc.
Comment by
Mary Kay Bonfante
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This is a sad and sobering commentary, in poetic form, about what we're doing to our planet, its animals and ourselves, also making mention of past natural disasters that have "reset" life on this great, spinning sphere. I don't welcome another all-consuming comet, but I do hope that more of us will wake up, before it's really too late.

One small error:
slaughtered our enemies then they slaughtered us to. --> too.

This was a very insightful line:
the defect in the brain that loves to see others in pain,
will surely be our undoing with the planet the same.

Yet I think that defect lies within our heart, not our brains; not so much our physical hearts, but our soul, our flawed spirits (although scientists have recently discovered that some memories are actually transmitted in the transplanted hearts of donors, amazingly enough!) Yet in one respect you are also right: our brains are also corrupted by the choices made by the spiritual evil within us, and thereby twisted.

I sympathize with your desire to see the weak outlive the strong. Indeed, Christ said, "The meek shall inherit the earth." It's not the same as the weak, but the meek make a choice not to exploit others. Very challenging poetry!



 Comment Written 24-Jan-2020



reply by the author on 24-Jan-2020
    Many thanks for your in depth review of my poem , and weak meaning not strong to challenge the ones in power , we just cannot get their and tradition of power has not been challenged enough to deny the decline of the Human race . Cheers Colin

reply by Mary Kay Bonfante on 24-Jan-2020
    You're very welcome, Colin. Thanks for elaborating.
Comment by
Iza Deleanu
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Poet Rating
  Rank:  137 (+1)
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  Rank:  72
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  Rank:  8
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  Rank:  8
 

#8 Ranked Novelist
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Interesting point of view that brings up a little bit the cleansing of the planet through a small Apocalypse from outer space. Thank you for sharing and good luck with the next poem.


 Comment Written 24-Jan-2020



reply by the author on 24-Jan-2020
    Thanks Iza for the review. Kind regards Colin
Comment by
tfawcus
Level 1 Pro
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  Rank:  9
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  Rank:  57
 

#9 Ranked Novelist
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A powerfully worded warning about the mass extinction that we seem to be bringing upon ourselves. It's a strange thing - the more we know the less wise we seem to become.


 Comment Written 24-Jan-2020



reply by the author on 24-Jan-2020
    Dead right and that's not a pun.. How helpless are we that want to change things but cannot,because the power is elsewhere. Thanks for the review.
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