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a 5-7-7

  13 total reviews 
Comment by
susand3022
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  Rank:  27
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  Rank:  15
 

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Hi Bill, it's cute, but you missed that last line by 2 syllables! If it's supposed to be a 5-7-5, then you need to shave two syllables off of, "Kentucky Roller Derby" because I'm pretty sure that's 7. ;) Nice try though! :)


 Comment Written 05-Feb-2020



reply by the author on 05-Feb-2020
    I meant it to be a 5-7-7, of course. Hope you enjoyed this syllable-counting exercise. : )
Comment by
Y. M. Roger
FantasyGirl
 
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LOL!! ;) Well, I'd say somebody's having a good day, yeah?! A fun one for the afternoon, Bill -- thank you so much for sharing that odd little smile! ;) Yvette


 Comment Written 05-Feb-2020



reply by the author on 05-Feb-2020
    Thanks, Yvette. I may be headed for a poetry torrent.

reply by Y. M. Roger on 05-Feb-2020
    Oh, my!! Well, I've got my extra-tough umbrella ready, sir, so bring it on!! ;) :)
Comment by
Chrissy710
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Hi Bill, Now that would be an interesting watch, LOL skating horses, Fat too much frolicking and neighing for me, the whips would be out. Creative and unique a fun read and conjured up all sorts of imagination Cheers Chris


 Comment Written 04-Feb-2020



reply by the author on 04-Feb-2020
    Thanks, Chris
Comment by
lyenochka
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Lol. I like it! I've been to the local roller derby competitions and it's quite a show. I'm wondering if you found the picture first and then wrote the poem?


 Comment Written 04-Feb-2020



reply by the author on 04-Feb-2020
    I went to FanArt with the word horse; the drawing was an option.
Comment by
Lance Loria
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An interesting roll of thoughts with a touch of rhyme included. It was a fun read. Neither serious nor conveying a message. No edits or adjustments needed.


 Comment Written 04-Feb-2020



reply by the author on 04-Feb-2020
    Thanks, Lance
Comment by
Bill Pinder
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Thanks for the humorous writing about the Preakness And Kentucky derbies. I guess they can be like a roller derby match. I haven't thought of that in a lot of years. I hoped that ridiculous sport would die out.
Bill


 Comment Written 04-Feb-2020



reply by the author on 04-Feb-2020
    Thanks, Bill
Comment by
nomi338
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If you are on the track and have to face a spectacle like this, you might want to run faster than you have ever run before. Please believe me, in the face of something like this indicates that the world as we know it is at an end and will have forever changed. Goodnight.


 Comment Written 04-Feb-2020



reply by the author on 04-Feb-2020
    Thanks, nomi
Comment by
2016 and 2018 Script Write Of The Year
judiverse
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I'd rather watch the Kentucky Derby than the Kentucky Roller Derby. Good work in getting your rhyme in. It always adds. I don't know about that horse on roller skates. They have fragile legs, after all. As far as I'm concerned, the skaters can do whatever they like to each other. I won't be there to watch. judi


 Comment Written 04-Feb-2020



reply by the author on 04-Feb-2020
    Thanks, Judi

reply by judiverse on 04-Feb-2020
    You're welcome. judi
Comment by
2019 Novelist of the Year
Ulla
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Hi Bill, I'm sure glad for your notes, because without them your fine 5-7-5 poem wouldn't have made any sense whatsoever. At least not to me. Good luck in the contest. Ulla:))


 Comment Written 04-Feb-2020



reply by the author on 04-Feb-2020
    Thanks, Ulla
Comment by
Frederick Samson
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  Rank:  368 (+3)
 
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I liked this poem. The syllables are used to their maximum ability. Condensed content written clearly and informatively. Thanks for sharing this, I really enjoyed it and I'm sure so did most others reading it.

This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.


 Comment Written 04-Feb-2020



reply by the author on 04-Feb-2020
    Thanks, Frederick
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